Fascinated by couple on plane with 7 DC

[GratefulMe]

They were Americans. Fairly young parents, I'd say mid 30s. Everyone neatly turned out but nothing flashy. Children ranged from c. 13yo to a baby. Clearly all related, as they had identical distinctive colouring.

Mum was mostly seeing to baby and Dad maintained absolutely complete order with the others. He was very calm and softly spoken, but everyone did as they were asked when they were asked. There was no fussing or attention seeking.

Also, I thought it interesting that the older children didn't seem to have any childcare role, they were well behaved, but they weren't looking out for their younger siblings.

This continued whist waiting at the airport, during the flight and through passport control at arrivals.

How do you think they've achieve it?

Also what do you do for a living to be able to take 7 DC on trans Atlantic holidays?!

Did all the children's names begin with J? If so they were probably religious. I just hope they aren't anything like the Turpin family. They also don't believe in contraception.

Sounds like some sort of cult or religion, sort of along Amish grounds (but obviously not as they'd have stood out more).

One of my best friends is American and when they were younger the DF was very strict (with one DD who had ADHD, albeit medicated and another who had hearing issues, both adopted). He's also religious (Catholic). I don't think he ever smacked the girls but it certainly seemed quite hard-line to me sometimes and he worked away a lot - during a week, and his DW and the girls seemed far more relaxed when he wasn't around then! I don't know if this is typical American parenting but the DF's DM is a Southern woman, maybe it's stricter there?

Right? I have 3, not 7, but my kids are all very well-behaved. I've gotten two to adulthood without issues. Without spanking, threatening, or extreme religion.

Despite lots of posters here saying their kids are this well behaved, the only families I know whose children actually behave like this hit their children for any disobedience starting from under a year.
I grew up in Christian evangelical circles where lots of families followed James Dobson or Tedd Tripp, the children were all like this.

It's sad that helping with younger siblings is seen as a bad thing and not looking out for younger siblings is something looked for and commented on positively.

And we wonder why our young people are unfamiliar with taking responsibility and often unthoughtful around the home.

I think some children are naturally submissive or passive and some naturally outspoken and test boundaries a lot. Some are meek and mild and fall into lines the adults suggest and others are loud and more fierce and argue the odds.

As adults some are easily controlled by others and others are controlling. There is a spectrum of behaviours and we all fall at different parts.

Despite lots of posters here saying their kids are this well behaved, the only families I know whose children actually behave like this hit their children for any disobedience starting from under a year.

Come over and meet my kids.

Maybe your standards are low and they're copying you?

Sounds like some sort of cult or religion, sort of along Amish grounds (but obviously not as they'd have stood out more)

Why would anyone suppose that well behaved children must belong to a cult or be religious? Or that they must be abused. Could it quite simply be that they are brought up with clear expectations and boundaries?

I have a friend with 7 and she regularly admits that they play up. I mean surely all DC do sometimes?

Interesting about the older DC being expected to do child care. I have 2 DC my eldest is 15 and my youngest is 10. The eldest has always looked after his little DS. He is very nurturing. I don't expect it of him - sometimes ask him to for example get something for her she can't reach etc but not actual child care. But for example when she was a bit younger and might wake up and need some attention when in bed in the evening, he would often say 'I'll go' and go and sort her out or if she hurt herself go to comfort her. It is very sweet to see.

I have six siblings. We were similarly behaved in public as children.

My parents were always calm and quiet - but they ALWAYS followed through on a threat. If they said ‘If you don’t stop that you’re not doing xyz’ then we knew they meant it. That worked on me and my siblings!

Should add my siblings and I are all NT.

So they did not smack but were hard line?
This may simply mean you are pretty soft?

Were the females all modestly dressed?

I also thought that they might be religious. As a PP pointed out the mother must have started having children at quite a young age by today's standards, and at regular intervals thereafter.

I agree that it is sad that well behaved children are noticeable because of their rarity. DD was a well behaved child. She was timid by nature and hated/still hates being the centre of attention. She found her graduation ceremeony excrutiating.

And the parents I see shrieking at and threatening their children are not the parents with well-behaved children. If shouting at or hitting children worked, then some of the most chaotic families would have very well-behaved children. It does not work.
The parents I know with well-behaved children all talk to them quietly.

Exactly. My kids knew what behaviour was expected of them. They didn’t whine or throw tantrums. They didn’t demand things. Of course they were naughty sometimes but a lot of kids these days seem to rule the roost and are never told ‘no’.

(Should also add we were never abused or mistreated, we’re not part of any religion and we weren’t scared of my parents physically - sorry to disprove the theory 😂)

There will be firm boundaries with high expectations for behaviour. Dad probably has a well paying job whilst mum is a stay at home mum. Probably have a high standard of living, that’s my guess anyway.

I only have 3 and they have always behaved on flights. I’ve lost count over the years how many people have actually told me my kids are well behaved in allsorts of different settings. That’s with 3 though mind not 7.

Other than that perhaps when one of them starts mother quietly whispers into one of their ears “do we need to go to the toilet”….. 😂😂 who knows.

I dont have badly behaved children, I am regularly complimented on my children behaviour and manners. But there is a difference in what the OP is describing and how most well behaved children behave. You woukd expect that in most families a child might occasionally get over excited and squal or laugh a bit too loudly, one might get a bit stroppy with their siblings g, a toddler might cry over something insignificant just normal behaviour. What is unusual with these families is that you do t see any of this.

Definitely god fearing.

I dont have badly behaved children, I am regularly complimented on my children behaviour and manners. But there is a difference in what the OP is describing and how most well behaved children behave. You woukd expect that in most families a child might occasionally get over excited and squal or laugh a bit too loudly, one might get a bit stroppy with their siblings g, a toddler might cry over something insignificant just normal behaviour. What is unusual with these families is that you dont see any of this.

We don’t know that the children in the family the OP saw are always like that. It was a one off occasion.

No-one has any idea how they normally are, or even why the family were travelling.

I’d guess a religious family. If they are raised in that culture and that’s all they see at church, family events etc they will follow suit.
My DC went to a small private school. They stood out at events with other local schools as they would all sit and listen or walk nicely as that was expectation from age 3. It wasn’t the children were naturally better behaved just how they were expected/required to behave. It’s a bit like ballet class there’s firm expectations and discipline.

I have been in buses in South America for 10 hour journeys where all the children are fairly quiet and well behaved.

I'm one of 6 and I think we all behaved when we were out as family. Not so much at home or out playing without a parent around.