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Original poster

Fascinated by couple on plane with 7 DC

253 replies

GratefulMe · 10/08/2022 09:45

They were Americans. Fairly young parents, I'd say mid 30s. Everyone neatly turned out but nothing flashy. Children ranged from c. 13yo to a baby. Clearly all related, as they had identical distinctive colouring.

Mum was mostly seeing to baby and Dad maintained absolutely complete order with the others. He was very calm and softly spoken, but everyone did as they were asked when they were asked. There was no fussing or attention seeking.

Also, I thought it interesting that the older children didn't seem to have any childcare role, they were well behaved, but they weren't looking out for their younger siblings.

This continued whist waiting at the airport, during the flight and through passport control at arrivals.

How do you think they've achieve it?

Also what do you do for a living to be able to take 7 DC on trans Atlantic holidays?!

OP posts:
liveforsummer · 11/08/2022 22:54

LoisLane66 · 11/08/2022 21:55

I had/ have 5 children and they were never asked or expected to 'nanny' their siblings nor were they ever even slightly badly behaved . I was able to take them on coach trips, airlines and car travel on my own, even as babies.
I had no particular rules, just the same manners and behaviour as was expected at home.

Out of 5 children none of them were ever badly behaved, EVER? Not even slightly, once?

canonlydoblue · 11/08/2022 23:04

@liveforsummer

I find them on the whole more subdued, older than their years, more strict gender roles. Also more rigid manners, treating elders with formal respect (yes Sir, yes Mam). And they dress up to the nines for church. Girls in dresses and boys in suits. Nothing wrong with that at all but I’d rather let my children pick what they’d like to wear. Dressed my nine month old in a linen shirt and some chino shorts this Sunday and one of the USA girls said ‘oh you finally got him some church clothes….’

HRTQueen · 11/08/2022 23:07

Benadryl

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

13 year olds Families
wallpoppy · 11/08/2022 23:20

You probably would have said this about the family of five children I grew up in if you saw us about. We were told how lovely and well behaved we were all the time. It was down to an incredibly abusive upbringing. Infractions that would have been incredibly minor in any other family- slamming a door, not responding immediately to being called by either parent, a made-but-wrinkled bed- were met with insane punishments. An example- my father opened one of my drawers to find my socks and underwear not perfectly folded and organised. I was grounded for two full months, allowed NO recreational activities like reading or television or drawing or anything else. I was allowed to read the bible, do housework, and that was it. Two months. When my brother slammed a door he had his room taken away and was given two plastic bins for ALL of his clothes and belongings and slept on an army cot in the kitchen that he had to fold away and put in the garage every night. From the time he was 16 until the time he moved out of the house. He couldn't go in any of our other rooms either.

There was almost no physical abuse, in the form of hitting. Not much shouting, either. But there was mental torture every day.

When I see a big perfectly behaved family, it makes me feel sick inside and I have to get away. It's my problem not theirs, I'm sure most families aren't like mine, but I did know other families like mine in the same religion so it's not out of the question.

Mfsf · 11/08/2022 23:40

I have family and friends in usa and physical punishment is still very common, big families normally mean religious so corporal punishment is even more common .The kids where probably to scared to misbehave. It’s sad but a real possibility . This being said my kids can be horrendous but they behave extremely well on flights as they have been flying a few times a year since they where born .

Hmm1234 · 11/08/2022 23:58

’They had a distinctive colouring, had to be related’ did you really just say that lol. Stop being so judgemental

Taketheweather · 12/08/2022 00:00

Cult.

They're well behaved because they're drugged. Probably.

Jki · 12/08/2022 00:02

GirlInACountrySong · 10/08/2022 10:10

Could be good parenting....could be a family who rule with an iron rod like the Turpin family

Could be Valium.

Taketheweather · 12/08/2022 00:06

Or melatonin. They give that shit to everyone who gets on a plane in the USA. Stops them all shooting each other. (Lots of guns over there.)

Jki · 12/08/2022 00:06

Fucking bastard of a young life you’ve had @wallpoppy hope you’ve had trauma therapy, that’s some serious trauma. Damn.

Londoncallingme · 12/08/2022 00:15

mjf981 · 10/08/2022 09:54

My guess - religious family heavily involved with the church, strict but structured upbringing, lots of family help, live in a cheap area (midwest?), Dad has a professional job (dentist, doctor - both very very well paid in the US). I know of similar families, and despite the negativity directed towards the US on MN, they are generally very happy and content with their lives.

Yep - First thing I thought of too. Large Christian American families. We have one at our school. Very churchy and very calm and clearly shag a lot.

mathanxiety · 12/08/2022 04:23

@Taketheweather - do they though?

Whoever 'they' are that you imagine handing out melatonin on American planes...
Hmm

Insanelysilver · 12/08/2022 11:01

They are probably religious and if I were guessing I’d say they probably use corporal punishment to maintain order.
A lot of Americans who were over the knee type smacked with a hand or belt when they were kids and still do that with their kids.

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 12/08/2022 11:08

Not necessarily. My sister is religious (MO Jewish) and they do not use physical punishment of any kind. They would view hitting anyone as injuring a fellow soul and would not do it.

Jki · 12/08/2022 11:24

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 12/08/2022 11:08

Not necessarily. My sister is religious (MO Jewish) and they do not use physical punishment of any kind. They would view hitting anyone as injuring a fellow soul and would not do it.

Corporal punishment is still used and legal in schools in the USA. (In 19 states)

With separation of church and state and given that these would be government schools, I would imagine that physical violence towards children and young people isn’t exclusive to religious folk in the USA.

DoItAfraid · 12/08/2022 12:46

KimWexlersPonyTail · 10/08/2022 10:57

Maybe kids are already seasoned travellers. I know kids like this, getting on a plane is like carching the bus. Amazed people think well behaved children equal scared/abused children.
Perhaps they were travelling to a funeral and were quiet because they were sad. I can't beleive the assumptions some posters are making.

@KimWexlersPonyTail

thanks for saying this! Everyone was rushing to say they were abused behind closed doors etc.

OP, would you mind stating their ethnicity? I am curious.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 12/08/2022 12:57

antelopevalley · 10/08/2022 12:55

So they did not smack but were hard line?
This may simply mean you are pretty soft?

Show quote history

As far as I know they didn't smack. I can't 100% guarantee this though. They were hard line though (the DF anyway) from what I could see. The elder DD could be quite challenging, especially with her DF, but as he was a lot and the DM had to parent solo a lot when the DC were younger, the DM had to make lots of parenting decisions without the DF being there, so of course it's harder for DF to enforce when he's not around much.

I do know that my American friend (the mother) had a tough time with her DD as a child, as I saw her playing her up a lot in the holidays when she was off her ADHD meds and when I visited a few times. Her mother did confide in me that she didn't know how to handle her sometimes when she got into these rages but she coped the best she could. The DD did attend some sort of martial arts (and got to a really high level in this) which I believe really helped focus her mind and be more mindful.

I don't have DC but if I did (and if I have to interact by myself with my nephew, 4 year old) and he plays up (e.g. without parents) then I'm firm but fair or I would be if I had DC. I definitely wouldn't be very soft.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 12/08/2022 13:16

gogohmm · 10/08/2022 15:45

I was in New York earlier this year and saw a family with 10 kids all in identical t shirts, boys in beige shorts, girls in similar colour skirts, with southern accents - beautifully behaved but felt something was amiss, they didn't look the dad in the eye, they weren't excited by their trip to the Statue of Liberty, draconian parenting is my guess

I went to Paris approx 4 years ago to meet my American friends and their teenage DDs for a week at Easter.

We all had a nice time but we spent almost all of our time at art galleries and museums. There was a firm 'no' to anything like Euro Disney or anything frivolous though we did go up the Eiffel Tower and on a Seine River Boat trip. Their DM wanted to take the DDs to Zara or Galeries Lafayette but the DF vetoed this. The DDs (both under 16, they were 13 and 15) did go to a playpark once or twice to let off steam.

If they wanted anything like a soft drink, cake, ice cream etc then this wasn't encouraged and I took them for this a couple of times. So basically it was breakfast, lunch and dinner with a lot of walking - all around Paris during the day. No snacks in between if it could be helped, no coffee/soft drinks/water. I made sure I got myself drinks from a Tabac or the odd coffee when I was out.

The DF is quite penny-pinching and liked to walk miles to a cheaper restaurant to save money. I actually paid for a couple of meals/lunches out for the whole family. They preferred generally to walk long distances rather than get the Metro though they would get this sometimes. They also liked early starts and to stay out all day and then home fairly late at night (by 11pm). The DM doesn't work, but he has a good job and also gets free hotel stays due to loyalty points.

Near the end of our holiday the younger DD, who has had issues with her ears etc in the past, got sick, but I'd noticed the DDs flagging a bit, sightseeing every day (they're expected to take everything in too). She got an ear infection, had to stay for 2-3 days in her hotel room with antibiotics and my friend (the DM) was quite angry with her DH as he actually didn't want the doctor (they had travel insurance) and also for him being mean.

I'm not saying all Americans are like this but the holiday at times to me, seemed more like a military operation and less like the interesting, cultural, with aspects of fun trip that which I'd have expected for a family with teenage DDs.

Softplayhooray · 12/08/2022 13:44

mjf981 · 10/08/2022 09:54

My guess - religious family heavily involved with the church, strict but structured upbringing, lots of family help, live in a cheap area (midwest?), Dad has a professional job (dentist, doctor - both very very well paid in the US). I know of similar families, and despite the negativity directed towards the US on MN, they are generally very happy and content with their lives.

This is great, like a Poirot mystery! Sounds like a good guess.

itsonlysubterfuge · 12/08/2022 15:54

Jki · 12/08/2022 11:24

Corporal punishment is still used and legal in schools in the USA. (In 19 states)

With separation of church and state and given that these would be government schools, I would imagine that physical violence towards children and young people isn’t exclusive to religious folk in the USA.

Show quote history

This is a misleading statement. There are plenty of schools within the states where it is legal that don't use corporal punishment. Less than 20% of schools in those states use corporal punishment.

FoodieLexie · 12/08/2022 16:18

I think I may possibly know this family. If they’re the ones I’m thinking of, they are devout Mormons from the Bible
belt. Dad is a dentist in the US Army
so they live on base. I don’t know how they do it, but they do! The kids are lovely and know how to kick back and have fun when appropriate

Jki · 12/08/2022 16:21

itsonlysubterfuge · 12/08/2022 15:54

This is a misleading statement. There are plenty of schools within the states where it is legal that don't use corporal punishment. Less than 20% of schools in those states use corporal punishment.

Show quote history

Yes, it was misleading if your information is accurate. Thank you.

20% of government schools in 19 states condoning physical violence against young people still isn’t ok.

And I recently read that disabled and minority students are disproportionately represented in the population of students on the receiving end of that corporal punishment.

Kneedles · 12/08/2022 21:29

liveforsummer · 10/08/2022 11:23

@Kneedles I think you're a bit confused. We'll behaved does have to equal silent and subdued. Even the next behaved ex are normally quite animated or will chat to the sibling beside them

The only thing I'm confused about is what your post means Confused

me109f · 15/08/2022 16:25

I agree with mjf981. 37 years ago I was in Oklahoma City and there was an equestrian event. (Horse Cutting, like sheep dog trials with horses). The hotel filled up with immaculate cowboys and their families. They were all well-spoken and polite, friendly and very healthy and attractive, their kids were happy and no trouble at all. It is bible-belt and these well-heeled rancher families were very christian and an extraordinarily fine example of american families. I was so impressed.

NewMoney1000000 · 15/08/2022 16:40

When I was in Crete last year there was an American family with six or seven DC and one on the way. The DC were still well behaved, it was fascinating to watch the logistics of them
getting around. They had a great big prank thing we nicknamed the tank that fitted a two or three DC in. The dad was in the military, I think based in Germany, or maybe the wife was German.