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Original poster

How do you manage your joint account

127 replies

Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:42

DH and I have set up a joint account.

Back story, I have always worked full time untill after having our DC2 I'm going back to work part time. DH works away so it works out better for us for me to reduce my hours.

We set up a joint account and my initial thought was all money goes in and all bills come out whatever is left would be for shopping, petrol, miscellaneous payments, days out etc.

It's a very argumentative conversation any time it's brought up now as DH thinks we should have all bills coming out of it and we both pay our half's in (although there is certain bills he's not willing to pay towards, amazon prime for example).

DH earns significantly more than me so it's seems slightly unfair on my part that I will be the one at home with the 2DC on a part time wage, which after paying my half of the bills will amount to basically nothing.

So how do you all work it out?

OP posts:
Parker231 · 30/07/2022 10:44

All money into joint account. Both have exactly the same amount of personal money transferred into our own account regardless of the size of our salary.

dementedpixie · 30/07/2022 10:47

Joint account where dhs wages go into and then we both spend from. I have a small standing order to a sole account in my name that we affectionately call my running away fund Grin.

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:48

@Parker231 this is what I was hoping would have been our plan, I'm not one to treat myself etc so the personal money wouldn't be something that I'd want really I just think everything should be in one place meaning that we both have access to everything.

OP posts:

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General money
MassiveSalad22 · 30/07/2022 10:50

All wages into the joint account, all food, bills etc paid out of it. Spending money paid out of it and into our individual Monzo accounts. Simple!

BuffaloCauliflower · 30/07/2022 10:50

All money goes in and out of one account, it’s then budgeted using YNAB, which I manage. Everything is joint. We agree about bigger purchases but beyond that it’s just living life.

MostlyHappyMummy · 30/07/2022 10:50

Go back to work full time and your 'D'H can change job so he's around more to do his fair share of childcare.

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:51

@dementedpixie this is what I was thinking because right now he transfers me half of the big bills but I'm left to pay for everything else while at home.

OP posts:
Lymregent · 30/07/2022 10:51

These posts always make me sad and angry. Of course money should all be pooled together. He is being very unfair. Are you a family or not?

DelurkingAJ · 30/07/2022 10:52

When we set it up we both ended up with equal cash after bills. We’ve never really changed the amount so I suspect it’s skew now but either of us would happily top up the other if necessary (and for big one offs, like holidays, we look at all the accounts and decide which can retake the strain best!). I’ve always earnt more than DH which has meant push-pull because he’s socially trained not to ‘live off his DW’ and I’m clear that he needs not to have less spends than I do.

dementedpixie · 30/07/2022 10:52

Why would you pay 50:50 if he earns a lot more than you? It should be proportionate to earnings

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:53

@MostlyHappyMummy if only it was that simple there is no way he would change jobs he really enjoys what he does and the money is also a massive factor. I've always been the sort of "breadwinner" but now the tables have turned I feel like he's sort of holding money over me.

OP posts:
Parker231 · 30/07/2022 10:54

Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:48

@Parker231 this is what I was hoping would have been our plan, I'm not one to treat myself etc so the personal money wouldn't be something that I'd want really I just think everything should be in one place meaning that we both have access to everything.

You need personal money - coffee when you meet a friend, clothes, hair appointments, nights out with the girls,.

JosephineGH · 30/07/2022 10:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:56

@Lymregent he took on the job to "better our family" but since the money started coming in it feels like he's being selfish and not family orientated.

@dementedpixie I never actually thought of looking on it that way but I dare say that will be another argument as he will claim because he works away he doesn't use the gas and electricity etc.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 30/07/2022 10:57

All money in. All bills including joint savings out.

What's left is joint spending money.

It's our money. Not his and hers.

It doesn't matter who earns the most.

AlwaysAnonymous · 30/07/2022 10:59

Parker231 · 30/07/2022 10:44

All money into joint account. Both have exactly the same amount of personal money transferred into our own account regardless of the size of our salary.

We do this too and have found it the simplest way to keep on track of everything. DP now earns almost 3x what I do but we share everything 50/50.

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 10:59

@Parker231 I have 1 friend who I rarely meet up with if I do it's to get our eyebrows done at £15 and it's probably every 5/6 months as i tend to just do them myself, my hair is £70 and again I leave it alot longer than I should so that's probably around 6 months and I don't drink so I'm never invited to any night outs lol

OP posts:
MostlyHappyMummy · 30/07/2022 11:00

In which case your only option is to scrupulously work out what all outgoings including costs linked to children are and then work out your share relative to your wage ie if you earn 20% of his salary you transfer 20% of your wage into the joint account.
Then you tell him what you will now be doing and refuse to worry about any shortfall in the account. That's for him to sort out.

ideally divorce him because he's a financially abusive and selfish arsehole, but I suspect you may not want to do that.

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 11:01

@MajorCarolDanvers this was out initial plan, what's mine was his and what's his was mine but since he started getting paid it has just seemed to change.

OP posts:
BobBobBobbing · 30/07/2022 11:01

All money in and all bills, day to day costs and joint treats like meals out come out the joint account.

We each get £200 a month personal money for spending on what we want. He spends his on cricket and football, me on random shit. We also use this money to buy each other birthday and Christmas pressies.

I can't imagine running our finances any differently

Original poster
Mvddaw · 30/07/2022 11:03

@MostlyHappyMummy tbh it's been considered. I've seen a different side to him since this all started and its really had me thinking.

OP posts:
fakename13778 · 30/07/2022 11:04

Proportional to our earnings. We calculated what we needed for mortgage, bills, food, other joint expenses (so would include all kids expenses, family days out etc in there)

I earn significantly more than DH (4/5 of our total income) so if that figure were 2,500 I would put in 2,000 and DH would put in 500.

CantaloupeMelon · 30/07/2022 11:06

We pool our money - all into the same account, pay the bills etc and transfer whatever is left at the end of the month to our joint savings.

OP, if he is refusing to treat you fairly then you need to think very long and hard about whether it's a good idea to go part time. Financially you'll be taking all the hit, which isn't fair when you're both benefiting from it. If he really can't acknowledge that, then you need to stay working full time.

Earlymenopausesucks · 30/07/2022 11:07

We put everything into the joint account, pay all bills, savings, birthdays, Christmas gifts, party presents, meals out, holidays birthdays… everything.

We both have free spending of whatever’s left.

BestIsWest · 30/07/2022 11:08

All income goes into joint account. Whatever is left at the end of the month goes into savings account (joint) or equally into ISAs.