How do you manage your joint account

[Mvddaw]

DH and I have set up a joint account.

Back story, I have always worked full time untill after having our DC2 I'm going back to work part time. DH works away so it works out better for us for me to reduce my hours.

We set up a joint account and my initial thought was all money goes in and all bills come out whatever is left would be for shopping, petrol, miscellaneous payments, days out etc.

It's a very argumentative conversation any time it's brought up now as DH thinks we should have all bills coming out of it and we both pay our half's in (although there is certain bills he's not willing to pay towards, amazon prime for example).

DH earns significantly more than me so it's seems slightly unfair on my part that I will be the one at home with the 2DC on a part time wage, which after paying my half of the bills will amount to basically nothing.

So how do you all work it out?

I think both wages should be paid into the joint account and then each person should have a similar amount sent to a sole account for their own personal spends.

I should say as well, if I went back to doing what I did prior to having the DC I’d double my salary overnight, far out earning DH. We’ve discussed it and he doesn’t want me to (it was a very stressful job) and I’m also on the side of not wanting to at the moment - this has allowed him to progress his career and he is (hopefully) in line for a promotion next year - so if there was any of this “I earn more than you so I should have more” business, that would be firmly slapped down (not that my DH would say that anyway)

He seems to want it both ways. Freedom to work without having to consider the limitations his family responsibilities put on him but without compensating you for the limitations you picking up his share of child and home stuff puts on your earning potential.

It's depressing that he doesn't seem to have realised this and you're going to have to point it out to him.

Ask him if he's just being dim or deliberately financially abusive.

DH and I earn very similar amounts which makes it easier, although I work fewer hours to have one day off (we still have a pre-schooler) so he does pay slightly more towards our bills to compensate for this.

We have a few joint accounts, one which is only used for bills, and pay our shares into that every pay day (DH slightly more to accommodate for my reduced hours). One which is only used for the food shopping (we pay the same amount into this). And one which is used to cover any other joint expenses for the month, whether that be days out, activities, eating out, clothes for the DC. We spend quite a bit on this every month, which we are trying to reduce down (and fail every month!).

We also try and save a bit every month each, whatever we can both manage as some months are more expensive than others depending on what we’ve had on, any social things etc.

The rest of our money is ours, to spend on what we want. I don’t like the idea of having everything exclusively joint because I spend a lot more on things like clothes for me, beauty stuff, whereas DH does more cinema trips with friends, that kind of thing. So it’s good for us to keep our remaining money as spending for ourselves, but as mentioned we earn a similar amount so it is easier for it to feel “fair”.

Charge him for looking after the DC during his working hours and show him that would still be cheaper than employing a nanny and housekeeper.

What happened prior to having DC? Did you earn more then and was he quite happy spending your money?

We have a joint account and DH's own account. I don't work, DH works full time paid weekly. Our set up is slightly different in that most big bills are taken out of DH's salary (house/cars come with the job) so our only bills are small things like internet/phone/TV/prime. They come out of the joint account. DH sends half of his wage to the joint account each week, I guess technically he ends up with more each week as I use the joint account for paying for children's activities/clubs, food shop etc but then if we go out as a family he always uses 'his' money. I also have access to the joint savings so either of us can easily use that for anything bigger we need or emergencies. Sometimes he ends up with more money by the end of the week, sometimes I do, but to be honest with mobile banking we just transfer it between us if one of us needs money and has run out.

All money into a joint account, it pays all bills, food shop gifts etc.

A standing order is set up weekly that transfers money to mine and dps personal account and thats our personal spending money. However if dp uses the joint account or I do then it doesn't matter, its joint money regardless of how much who put in. We do discuss larger spends coming out of the joint account with each other before hand.

Like others, all money goes into a joint account, bills paid from there and standing orders set up to our individual accounts for personal spends (equal amounts) joint savings (short-term) and individual savings (Long-term). Money gets moved about as needed if we discover there's too much or too little left in our joint account.

Two joint accounts, one we have cut up the debit cards on. This one has my DH wages paid into and all the standing orders and direct debits come from. The other had my wages paid into (I'm currently on benefits) , child benefit and sons DLA paid into. This is used for fuel, food and clothing. Large expenses are initially paid from our credit card and that in turn is repaid from savings.

We don't have a joint account and I don't want one however your husband is being very unfair, if you have both agreed for you to reduce your hours to care for joint children then it shouldn't just be you taking the financial hit. I can't imagine wanting to see my partner and children struggle while I spend whatever I want. If I were you I would be demanding a detailed talk on finances, if he doesn't agree, I would not be going PT and I would be rethinking the relationship

Yes he’s being very selfish. He is working full time, no doubt boosting his pension whilst you’re working part time to care for children and on less money. Yet he thinks you should pay half. He’s being a dick

At the moment we both earn exactly the same, (give or take a a couple of hundred a year) and don't have DC, so we pay the same amount into the joint account to cover bills / groceries / household expenses etc and have what's left spend or save as we see fit. DH tends to spend more while I save more, but often what he's spending is on both of us (meals out for example) so it balances out.

At such time that we have DC or one of us earns more or less then we'll adjust percentages accordingly.

It's absolutely not fair that you're paying 50% while you're working part time OP.

We do it very simply: everything goes in to the joint account, and out of it.
We have various savings accounts both in our own names, and jointly, and for the dc - standing order to them each month.

We have a credit card each - set up so the full balance is paid off each month from the joint current account.

We don’t have our own personal current accounts, just spend from the joint account as needed, or wanted which has worked fine for us for 20 years.

Don't work part time OP with a man like this

We have joint bank account. Everything in and everything out of the one account apart from transfers into savings account which are also in joint names.
I earn 5 times my husband but he works part time and does a lot more childcare and housework.
We have a rule that anything over £100 gets discussed but otherwise don’t bother although realistically most things are bought for the kids.
I manage the account day to day and will let him know if the balance is getting low before one of our pay days.
Money should be a matter of trust.

We've always had 'joint everything', so much easier as long as both partners agree to it.

In your situation, I would pay into joint account in ratio to your relative incomes.

Doesn't sound like your DH will agree to that. So pay in equal amounts, but charge him for childcare at the going rate, bearing in mind that 'out of hours' (6pm - 8am) will be double the usual hourly rate. You're giving up some of your income to look after the children. Stand your ground OP.

DH brings home ~£4k a month and I bring home around £1k as I'm part time.

Mortgage (in both of our names) and car comes out of his account, along with various insurance payments and Amazon, Netflix etc. He puts a lump sum each month in the joint account that covers utilities, groceries and fuel for the car. He puts a lump sum into savings that gets spent once a year on improving the house (we moved into a doer upper a few years ago).

My money is primarily spent on kids activities, child care (about £100 a month) and random crap I probably don't really need. I save £200 a month for my just in case fund. He gives me money if there's a big bill such as new uniform expenses.

It's a bit of a weird set up and we've talked about moving everything into just one current account and one savings account but we've been quite lazy about it really and never got around to sorting it out after we moved in together 15 years ago.

We do exactly this, but I’m the lower earner. We have about the same amount left over for anything else we want to buy for ourselves.

DH understands that I sacrificed 6-odd years of my career when our DC were young to either not work or to work part time, while he built a successful career.

All ours goes in and we both spend what we want to, unless it's a larger purchase which we discuss

Never mattered who has earned more or spent more. We're a family.

We have a joint account. Almost all bills are joint or family bills.

We've arranged the joint account so that we both pay a pro-rata amount of funds in (DH earns more) and crucially we have exactly the same amount of disposable income each. To spend as we wish.

This disposable income is how we pay our bills that aren't joint. So my newspaper subscription, my Paetron account, my charity donations. DH pays for his mobile phone, his gym membership, likes buying clothes.

It works for us.

All money is family money. It's a marriage, a union, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer.

All wages paid into joint account, all DDs out of that account, spending from that account for both, joint savings account where a set amount goes each month. There have been times when our earning have vastly differed but we're a team no one has to ask to spend, big purchases discussed. Worked for us for 20 years.

dare say that will be another argument as he will claim because he works away he doesn't use the gas and electricity etc.

He may not but his two dc do which he is financially responsible for. Budget how much the dc cost, plus you and than make it proportional.

Or work out how much he would have to pay via CMS and add that into the mix.

Start work full time and charge him for the child care? Or just send him a bill for child care each month?