If you met your DH very young, for example under age 20

[Summerbreeze81]

If you met your DH very young, say under 20, did the relationship last?

Do you feel happy that you always had security or companionship, or do you feel you missed out on dating / sex / other life experience?

I got talking to a lady today who met her husband during uni Freshers week at age 18 and it got me thinking. I personally met my DH at 30 so I can’t imagine what being in a relationship with the same person since 18 must be like. But then obviously I never met someone I wanted to spend my life with at age 18, and if I’d settled down with any of the men I’d dated back then it would have been a disaster!

I’m now early 40s for context.

Got together at 14, 2 years off from 16-18 then back together at 18. Bought our first house together at 23, dc1 arrived at 26, married at 27, dc2 arrived at 31, moved house at 34. Xh moved out at 35 after years of cheating on me but me being too scared to ask him to leave. Now 45 and still married though not together anymore he lives with someone else now but has never filed for divorce...and I can't afford to

We met for the first time when we were both 15. Started going out when we were 17, married at 21 and celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary next year. Would not have it any other way.

Met at 19, engaged after a month, married at 20, still together at 45 - three children and one grandchild.
Everyone thought it wouldn't last but we're proving them wrong 😊

Sorry, just realised the OP said under 20, whereas I was 20. Feels young when I look back on it though!

We met at 18 married at 19 just before number 1 was born. We now have 4 kids and due to celebrate our 24th anniversary end of the year. Our eldest is also about to get married in a couple of months.

I know quite a few people that met in their teens and are still together 15+ years on. I guess most would think it's quite strange these days.

I met DH properly a few weeks after my 20th birthday but had been introduced to him briefly when I was 17 and doing a summer job where he worked. He claimed to not remember this. He was 42 when we met properly. We had the happiest marriage, we would have spent the rest of our lives together. Well we spent the rest of his life together. He died when I was 39. My world fell apart.

I'm dating someone now who's close in age to me, I'll never remarry. I had my person and he died. I love my boyfriend dearly but I don't want things to change.

18 when we met, 19 when we started going out. Both retired now. To an extent it's luck - we met someone on the same wavelength early on.

Met when we were 4 dated at 12 (if you can call it that) Back together at 21, married at 23. 36 years later all seems well.

Met at 18, separated at 45. He wanted to "experience" other things aka I wouldn't consent to an open relationship. Happily with someone else now so he did me a favour!

Met at 19 and been married 40 years now. Didn't miss out on the dating/sex/other life experiences before I met him - it was the seventies though🤣🤣

I did.
Met at 19,lived together for 3 years before getting married at 23. Been married 30 years.
Downside? Yes of course. Didn't play the field etc...
Upside. I've had a happy life. 3 kids spread out over 13 years. Having 2 incomes has enabled us to have security. Kids have had a stable life and grown into good adults.
I would say though that we are pretty unusual in our age group. Vast majority of friends who marries at the same split. Especially when youngest finished their A levels.

17 here. 31 years later we are happy.

Ups and downs like any normal marriage.

Met my DH at school. He was 15 and I was 16. We have been married for 37 years (I'm 61 now and he will be 60 soon) and certainly have no regrets or feel like we have missed out on anything.

Met at 18/20, got together at 19/21, engaged at 20/21.

Together and very happy 30+ years later.

@Babdoc I just burst into tears reading your post! How tragic. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I guess you were glad to have him as long as you did.

We were 19 when we met - in our mid thirties now. I love him more than ever. Our relationship was long distance for the first 5 years, maybe that has helped us appreciate each other from early on.

Dh was 21 when he met me and in his 2nd to last year of uni. I was a bit older. 😬 I often wonder if he feels like he missed out on his 20s as we got married fairly soon after and started a family. He doesn’t seem to - we’re now late 30s/early 40s - and we’ve had a very happy marriage and family life.

But me personally, no I wouldn’t have wanted to settle down around 20. I really enjoyed all the stupid shit I got up to in my 20s.

Definitely much happier having met early, very secure and I now have friends panicking that they haven't met anybody yet and they want the whole marriage and children package.

Met at 16
Married at 26
First DC at 28

Still very happy and cant imagine that changing

I met my dh when we were in school. We got together at 18. 12 years later we’re married and have a dd.
Not going to lie, I do feel like I have missed out on things, stuff my friends have done that I didn’t do etc I love him, he is my person and my best friend but I partly wish we got together slightly later.
we’ve grown together, been through an awful lot together and I’m happy I’m with him but I guess there’s always what ifs. I’m 30 but feel a lot older when talking to friends. They are just settling down, getting married and I feel like it’s all in the past for me and I’m not sure what’s coming next.

SadButTheTruth, I would still have married DH even if I’d known in advance that he would die young. He was my soulmate and an absolute sweetheart, and I was blessed to have him in my life, even for just 16 years.
I’m sorry my post made you cry! But there is no need - I have our two lovely DDs, and a good life, and I hope as a Christian that God will reunite us in His own time.

Met and fell in love with DH when I was 17 and he was 18. We"ll be 29 and 30 this year with a 2 year old DS. Very much in love and feel very lucky to have grown up with my first love ☺️

@Babdoc 💜

We got together properly when I was 22 and he was 24 but much messing around and skirting around the issue was happening from 18 and the first year of Uni. Married at 26 but no children until 35 and 40. Together 22 years this year.

Someone’s grass is greener comment rang true earlier, but I know my DH is a good man and a really good father and husband. I just wish sometimes I’d sowed my oats a little longer and possibly wilder!. I didn’t have much confidence in my physical appearance and realised I was never going to do better than my DH and I would have been mad to turn him down. @Newsernames post really struck a chord with me, very similar although I have pushed through and developed my own career. Difficult also to wave goodbye to a 4 year friendship as it would have been at the time we got together, and which would have happened if I’d turned him down. Neither of us could have got past that and I would have lost my whole social circle as I was adopted into his group of friends before we got together.

He is not my type physically, but I love his humour and also love how he loves me and our children. He works hard and pulls his weight as a partner and is always trying to look after us all. The polar opposite to my own father.

Sometimes I wonder if others who chose their partner for the physical attraction are happier overall - but I guess I’ll never know!

Met my husband at when we both turned 17 happily married for 22 years and 4 kids life is truly a blessing

@Babdoc please stop making me cry!!

I’m happy for you that you have such precious memories to keep you strong and I believe you will be reunited again, whatever faith you are, as your relationship was clearly meant to be.

I’ve honestly never been affected by a post in my many years lurking on mumsnet!