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Original poster

If you met your DH very young, for example under age 20

212 replies

Summerbreeze81 · 25/07/2022 20:56

If you met your DH very young, say under 20, did the relationship last?

Do you feel happy that you always had security or companionship, or do you feel you missed out on dating / sex / other life experience?

I got talking to a lady today who met her husband during uni Freshers week at age 18 and it got me thinking. I personally met my DH at 30 so I can’t imagine what being in a relationship with the same person since 18 must be like. But then obviously I never met someone I wanted to spend my life with at age 18, and if I’d settled down with any of the men I’d dated back then it would have been a disaster!

I’m now early 40s for context.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 25/07/2022 22:05

We met at uni freshers week when we were 19. Still together 38 years later. Very, very happily! I don't feel I missed out on life experience, we experienced life together.

mbosnz · 25/07/2022 22:06

31 years, lol. I cannot math. . .

superplumb · 25/07/2022 22:07

Met at 16, started dating at 18 married at 30 still together aged 43

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wednesdayrobyn · 25/07/2022 22:07

I was 19 when I met my husband at Uni. Now 37 and happily married with 2 children. I don't feel like I've missed out on anything.

hatedbythedailymail22 · 25/07/2022 22:11

Met at 18, married at 22. Still together and happy 25 years later.

I know a few people who will go on about it being too young, and how I must have missed out on so many experiences...from what I can see, at least in a couple of cases these experiences were a string of terrible relationships and a rush to settle for anyone possible once time was running out. Whereas I travelled the world and had great experiences with my husband. I know which I'd rather habe!

Thepossibility · 25/07/2022 22:12

Met when he was 18 and I was 19. Nearly 20 years ago! I am glad I met him when I did because someone else would have snapped him up, he's one of the good ones. He was awkward in high school so was very grateful that I gave him my number. I've had brief “what if" moments but I think you need to appreciate what you have for it to flourish, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

KindergartenKop · 25/07/2022 22:13

We met at 16 and started going out at 17.

Yes, I think we missed out on dating and all that but also we missed out on being lonely and Bridget Jones-esque.

We went to different universities and were lucky to live together after uni in a place where we could both do what we wanted so the relationship didn't really hold us back as it can with some young couples.

Sometimes I think that the grass is greener on the other side but actually my DH is a lovely kind and generous person and I could do A LOT worse!

Rupertgrintismyguiltypleasure · 25/07/2022 22:13

I was 16, DP was 20, not missed out on anything. Before kids we travelled, DS was born when I was 19 and dd 24. We’ve been together now 18 years. I had a few bf before him but he’s the only one I’ve slept with. He’s slept with others but it doesn’t bother me. He’s not stepped out on me, that I know about, so must be doing something right 😁

Smartiepants79 · 25/07/2022 22:14

We met when we were 19. Didn’t start dating til we were 22. Still very together. Never felt I missed anything. Casual dating/sex is not my thing at all.
My grandparents met when they were 14. Were married for over 65 years.

PlantsAndSpaniels · 25/07/2022 22:14

Met at school but wasn't the right time. I went off to uni and he contacted me when I was back and got together. Been 10 years so far. Doubt it would have lasted at 16 so glad we waited until our 20s

Decidualcast · 25/07/2022 22:14

Met him first day at uni. We didn’t start dating until the end of the final year. Married for 14 years then divorced. Can’t get my head around what a cunt he turned out to be. Didn’t see it coming.

PollyEsther · 25/07/2022 22:15

DH and I met when I was 17 and he was 21. We didn't get together for a few years, until I was 20 and he was 24 (4.5 years gap). We've now been married for nearly a decade, three children, perfectly happy marriage.

RainbowConnection1 · 25/07/2022 22:15

Met my DH when I was 18. We've been together 28 year now, married 20. We have 4 DC and while we've had our ups and downs we're still happy.

Loopyloooooo · 25/07/2022 22:16

I met my DH aged 12 🤣. Still together in mid 30s, feel very happy and secure, never felt like I've missed out because we're content.

KindergartenKop · 25/07/2022 22:16

Additionally, meeting my DH at school means we come from a very similar socioeconomic background and from the same geographic place. Sometimes differences in these areas can cause friction in a couple.

GreenClock · 25/07/2022 22:17

I envy couples who met at 18-20 ish. I didn’t really enjoy being single in my twenties and the whole “dating” thing. I enjoyed pubs/clubs etc but I had no interest in being on the pull and sleeping with casual guys (and neither did most of my single friends in truth). There were lots of older women at my workplace who’d married their uni boyfriends and they seemed so “sorted”.

Babdoc · 25/07/2022 22:17

Met DH my first night at uni. Moved in together after 3 days. Married when I graduated as a doctor.
Loved each other to bits until the day he died, aged 36, of a brain haemorrhage. Still love and grieve for him now, 30 years later. Never remarried.

umberellaonesie · 25/07/2022 22:17

Couple of years from 15, couple of years apart then back together. Still going 20 years later, we have been married 15 years. 3 children.
Lots of ups and downs, challenges and joy. He is my best friend which I think helps a lot. In our couple of years apart he was who I called when I'd fucked up, been dumped, had a job interview or a big decision to make.
Even when we haven't liked each other very much we still have had a very strong connection. I couldn't imagine my life with out him in it. So our foundation isnt romantic love ( although we have those times) it is a love of him as person, and he loves me as me. The fact we are in love, and have created a family is the icing on the cake.

Boopeedoop · 25/07/2022 22:18

Met at 17 (he was 21) married 3 years later. We have just had our 24th wedding anniversary!

I haven't missed out on anything. We have grown together and the sex is still amazing. We still have fun together and enjoy spending time together.

Wouldn't change a thing.

We are the only couple that got married that year that are still together though.

Camomila · 25/07/2022 22:19

Met DH my 2nd year of uni, started dating after a few months in the same friend group, got married at 26. Still happy together at 34, and 2 DC later. I don't feel I missed out anything.

(apart from speed dating! 😄 I really wanted to have a go when it first became a thing but I had a boyfriend)

KittyCatsby · 25/07/2022 22:20

Met at 17 , engaged at 18 , married at 19 , first baby at 21 . Divorced at 38 .

Zingy123 · 25/07/2022 22:21

Met at 19 still together 26 years later. Haven't missed out on anything.

Applegreenb · 25/07/2022 22:23

Meet DH as a teenager, I love it tbh. We both weren’t the types to sow wild oats and I like we have a lot of history. Still going stong 16 years later

Ilikegherkins · 25/07/2022 22:23

Met when we were 16, getting married this year after 33 years together and can't wait. Our children will be a big part of the day.

waterlego · 25/07/2022 22:24

I’ve known my DH since we were children (lived in a village, attended the same schools) but I didn’t start actually going out with him until I was 20. Between the ages of 17-20, I had a number of experiences with men. Enough to feel that I didn’t miss out 😬

First 5 years of our relationship we partied a lot with some great friends, had nice holidays and generally had a good time. We’re both in our 40s now. Together 24 years, married for 19, two lovely teenage kids and a nice life together.

I feel really lucky. He’s my best friend and I love that we have a shared history; we still laugh about anecdotes from school, and teachers, kids we knew etc. We’re culturally and politically very similar, and have the same sense of humour. It’s easy and cosy (though we’ve had challenges over the years, as have most couples), and I wouldn’t do things any differently if I had my time again.