If you met your DH very young, for example under age 20

[Summerbreeze81]

If you met your DH very young, say under 20, did the relationship last?

Do you feel happy that you always had security or companionship, or do you feel you missed out on dating / sex / other life experience?

I got talking to a lady today who met her husband during uni Freshers week at age 18 and it got me thinking. I personally met my DH at 30 so I can’t imagine what being in a relationship with the same person since 18 must be like. But then obviously I never met someone I wanted to spend my life with at age 18, and if I’d settled down with any of the men I’d dated back then it would have been a disaster!

I’m now early 40s for context.

DH was 18 and I was 19 when we first met. Married when we were 21 and 22. Our 37th wedding anniversary is coming up.

the truth is I would not have been able to attract anyone like him had I left it later why do you say that @Newsernames ?

Met at uni aged 19. Just had our 20th wedding anniversary but we've actually been together 27yrs!

Met freshers week, married at 21, still happily in love 23 years later. We're best friends. (Christians if that makes a difference, never wanted to sleep around etc)

Met at 18 - we were together for over 50 years, married for 49, and then he died.

I was not the sort to sleep around or sow wild oats; I recognised that we had lots in common; I fancied him - that helped; and we shared the same values.

I was 6 weeks off 20. We had our 30th wedding anniversary 2 weeks ago. Uni friends who got together in their first year are 28 years married. My sister was also not quite 20, and has been married for 27 years.

I have a school friend who got married a couple of months after me, to someone she'd been with since she was 16. They're still together (and grandparents). A school acquaintance (friend of friend on Facebook) is still married to the boyfriend she had when we were 14.

I do occasionally wonder what it would have been like to have had the wider dating experience... but then I read about The Wider Dating Experience on here and realise that I'm not missing much

Met at 17, got together when we were 19 and I'd moved away for Uni, so the first few years was a long distance thing. As soon as we got together I knew it was for keeps, but fought against it a bit as I hadn't pictured myself settling down so young. But if you win the lotto jackpot, you don't keep buying tickets do you? Still blissfully happy 30 years down the line.

We met aged 17. Had a tricky couple of years when I went to Uni a year before him but he went to Uni fairly close by the following year.

married in our mid 20’s, 2 children and still together.

Met Dh in Freshers week when I was 18 and he was nearly 21. Got together when aged 19 and 22. Married a couple of weeks after I graduated when we were 20 and 23. We were at Cambridge so at the time it was bordering on a scandal! Now still married and about the same age as you.

Do you feel happy that you always had security or companionship, or do you feel you missed out on dating / sex / other life experience?

Both. I fell in love with him and would have been miserable without him but I do now sometimes wish I had met him at 25. I had sown quite a few wild oats before him though so at the time it seemed just fine to be settling down.

Life is what it is. No one gets all the pie. I didn’t get to have mad flat shares and shagging in my 20s. My best friend (who didn’t meet her husband until her early 30s) didn’t get to have as many children as she ideally would have wanted. I didn’t get to take a job I rather fancied in Australia. I did have someone to cook my dinner and listen when I whinged about the job I did have.

I met mine at 18 separated when I was 26 had a boyfriend then we got back together when I was 27. Wish I would never have bothered I'm always comparing him in bed with the ex lover. Massive mistake to date others what you don't know you aren't missing out on.

I met my DH when I was 18 almost 19, he’s 8 years older then me though and had a LTR before me and has two older children with her (not sure if this makes a difference).
We married when I was 21, my first child at 23, still happily married 18 years later.

I occasionally wonder if I should have experimented with more sexual partners but honestly can’t see myself married to anyone else and don’t feel like I missed out on anything else. I think I was old before my time anyway.

That's my life that is.

Met when I was 20, he’s 3 years older. Engaged at 24, married at 25 then I moved into the home we bought while engaged. DD at 28, DS at 30, been married 26 years. Really enjoying the next stage of our marriage now the DC are away studying.

We have been together since we were 16. Been married for 10 years. I’ve never felt like I missed out. Even at uni when I was out partying I wasn’t interested in going with anyone else. I guess we are both lucky to have found each other young.

I met DH when I was 19 and have been with him ever since.
I hadn't really dated or anything before him and tbh I don't feel like I've missed out on anything.
We waited for 10 years after we met to get married and although we've been through our fair share of crap we're a good match and offset each other perfectly.

met DH when I was 14 and he was 17. We started dating when I was 16 and married when i was 21. He died 10 years ago aged 61 and I miss him every day. he was my only ever boyfriend and my only ever lover. And yes I know this is unusual and might sound weird to some.

Knew of DH at school from age 12, he was a couple of years above me. We got together when I was 19, him 21. We’re 39 and 41 now, two kids, one of whom was conceived pretty early doors. We’ve grown up together. It hasn’t all been plain sailing but we’re still happy and I can’t imagine what life apart from him might look like.

We met at college when we were both 16, got together at nearly 17, married at 22. Had DD at 24, DS at 29. Still together now at 33 and very happy!

We met at 18. We’re now 42 and still very happily together although we’ve never married. Had dated others before but as soon as we met we just clicked. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything, I just feel lucky that we met. We’ve been through everything together and he’s the best person I’ve ever met.

It’s quite unusual to meet so young I suppose.

Met DH at 19, started dating thinking it'd be another 1-2month relationship ( I never seemed to manage longer, not that I'd had loads), still together at 40.

We met in first year of uni and got together about 6 months later. We were both 18.
I was pretty wild before I met him, so got a lot out of my system.
I do think that it would have been fun to be single in my 20's but we've had a great time.
We went travelling together and didn't have children until we were 30, so did have a good experience pre kids.
I think we've grown together rather than apart, he is my best friend and we have been through an awful lot together - it would be outing to say exactly what, but illness, bereavement etc.

Dh and I got together at 18 and are now 19 years together (11 married, 2 kids). We grew up together. It took a fair bit of work to make sure that we grew together. Some points to work through. Generally both are just blown away that we found each other and still feel as in love (if not more) than we were in years 1,2,3.

Met my husband at 19 he was 20 first year of uni. Been together ever since short "break" in final year when we moved in together way too early.

I mostly feel extremely grateful to have met my best friend so early, we have been through so much and luckily managed to grow together and not apart. Sometimes I think we've both missed out on "fun" but honestly dating sounds like a nightmare hooks ups would never have been my thing. I'm also glad I don't have all that baggage from bad experiences.

I think it's a beautiful thing to grow together. If I'm brutally honest if I was picking a partner now at 31 there a few small things I think I might want to prioritise in picking a partner probably due to how I've changed and grown over the years but they are so small like a partner who enjoys reading as much as me for example. But ultimately I'm glad we chose each other and I love him more now than I did before.

Im curious for the other side of this also, I dk t really see the appeal to hook up or date a lot so I'm curious what people who did it opposite to me, what they feel it added (of that is even the right word).

Because I lost my looks and figure fairly quickly (and nothing to do with the relationship… it would have happened anyway) and essentially I’m also quite a lazy non go getting kind of person so wouldn’t have met anyone in the course of my career that had the kind of earning potential he went on to have.
Essentially he is a gorgeous, kind, loving man who earns a lot of money and he and others of his ilk are snapped up young.
I am an overweight not great looking woman with no career ambitions who works very part time and doesn’t even do any cleaning!
Not to be down on myself - I have loads of lovely qualities but I wouldn’t have got a man like him any time after about 24. I just don’t have enough going for me.

I was almost 19 when I met my husband, he was a year older. I'd had quite a few boyfriends before I met him. We're still together (I'm 63, we've been married 42 years)