Husband is really stingy and doesn't take children anywhere

[cantrememberwho]

my husband doesn't like spending money on anything but essential items. he brings in food, pays bills, mortgage and then says "i've done my responsibiliy". I don't have a job as i look after the house and children.

he NEVER takes the children or anywhere like a restaurant or any play activity. he says the cost of living has increased too much. I know this is the case but how do other people go holidays and buy nice things. He drives a really old car and my son is embarrassed if he drops him off at school. he also wears old clothes and sometimes his brother drops of his clothes before throwing them in charity bin.
My husband has that motto if it works keep using it until it dies.
i think the reason was his own parents grew in poverty in their country and passed this to my husband. also he buys primark and donation from relatives for clothes for children. (apart from school clothes he gets)

it cant be good for children if they stay home every holiday and never go anywhere. he says even train fare or fuel cost to seaside will be too much for him. now six week they will be home driving me mad especially when it was really hot this week. He goes to work, sits eats the dinner i make him and then watches TV and buries his head in a newspaper and falls asleep on sofa.

what could be done to make him spend some of the money. he claims its for the childrens future like weddings and tuition money.

I’m beginning to wonder if this is a piss take.

You're the one letting your children down. Honestly just get a job instead of washing spinach. You can buy tinned beans.

Hmmm yes

Uh-huh …

On sunday i might make fish and chips and according to you takes less than an hour. then what do they all eat Sunday evening.

They don't need two full hot meals a day, that's just ridiculous.

Buy school uniform that is non-iron. Your kids can help with household chores (and should), as should your husband - yes, he works full time but that doesn't mean he has to do nothing in terms of housework.

Your husband definitely sounds financially abusive, but you aren't helping yourself either.

Ive just seen the link youve posted. OP, I am sorry to say but I think you are using the family meal as an excuse not to work. Like I've said before you are unable to think outside the four walls of your kitchen. To me , it seems that you think this is all you can do. To me , it seems, that you feel that the only things you can do is cook and tidy the home so you've gone OTT with them in order to feel useful and relevant. You can do so much more than this with your life OP, there is more to life than food. All your delicious food that you spend hours cooking is eaten in less than 30 minutes and dropped out the next day. Whilst it's good to eat fresh healthy food, you don't have to be slaving away in the kitchen for hours everyday like your grandmother probably did. Do these during the weekend and find and get used to preparing and eating quicker, healthy meals. Your children will probably appreciate you more if you earned some money and took them out than slaving away in the kitchen every day cooking a meal that is quickly finished.

You can manage a home and work at the same time. Stop making excuses.

Yep just thought the same.

Op how do you think everyone else manages? Buy non iron uniform, hanging out washing takes a few minutes, washing a bathroom is a once a week job surely that doesn't take that long, hoovering does not take hours. I do all this on top of working. There's really no excuse for you not to work.

Exactly. If your DC are missing out on enriching holiday and after-school activities like trips out, sports camp, swimming etc, then cooking elaborate meals for them isn't going to make up for this. Save those for the weekend, get a job and eat leftovers or quick food during the week. It takes me around 15-20 minutes normally to make dinner for my DC.

tinned chickpeas! they are too salty and have metallic taste from being in tin. baby leaf spinach but i need lots of it like 6-8 bunch. The one in aldi is very clean but too expensive. we go local shops which are more affordable getting large bunches.
no soaking ? you must wash all vegetables they have pesticide and unhygienic.
the dish you made in 4 minutes !

this is what i make. it says 40 minutes here but they are wrong. they havent counted in the time to make roti which is kneaded, put in fridge 30 minutes as its too squishy. i think these shortcuts mean the children especially wont eat their dinners and start eating junk more which is bad.

www.thespruceeats.com/south-indian-yogurt-curry-1957993

If your roti dough is too soft to roll without chilling its because you’re adding too much liquid.

How do you think other women manage?
Our kids are still fed, educated, have clean clothes and many of us work full time!!

Nope, I'm out.

OP doesn't want help and advice, she wants to provoke a response. You lost me at fish and chips for lunch and 3 hour curry for dinner Op. took it too far...

this is what i make. rajma with roti. goes really well with pakoras and milky tea especially on a cold day in front of the gas fire. it says 60 minute but east end beans take 1-2 hours to melt and then they have'nt added in the roti making which is 30 minutes just to make

so 2-3 hours in the kitchen if not more.

www.thespruceeats.com/rajma-red-kidney-bean-curry-1957982

Op you’ve listed basic tasks of normal life! I do all that with 3 children, a full time job and over 40 animals including 2 large working breed dogs. Get a grip woman 🙄

It seems you can afford spending 2-3 hours on making meals if you can’t afford for your children to do anything other than eating and going to school.

send me a recipe that can make this food in 30 minutes without changing the taste or quality.

You are prioritising your own cooking preferences over your children’s enjoyment of life and you contributing financially to the family. You need to wake up!

They take 45 minutes to cook from dry, how on earth are you making it take so long?!

i let it sit in fridge just to let it settle. this way they end up more fluffy and not hard or uncooked from inside.

I meant: you CANT afford 2-3 hour meals.

Well I guess you’ve sacrificed holidays and days out for hours the kitchen and tidying up!!!

I do all that and manage to cook and clean the house whilst working part time. Meals every night, baths and clean plus laundry and also work part time. Get a part time and treat your kids. You husband has point but he could say you get a lotror job and use that for treats for your kids and days out.

Make something else.