You’re a burglar, BUT you can only steal…

[MzHz]

… things that mildly inconvenience your victim.

what are you taking?

I’m stealing the fronts to all your freezer drawers, and the clips closing your packs of open frozen veg…

I saw this on FB and the comments were hilarious. I’m sure Vipers can do waaaay better!

over to you!

Lighthearted, btw. Just in case the heat gets to anyone and it’s not obvious

all the right shoes.all the forks.

I know I may get banned for a personal attack but you utter bastard. Anyone doing that in my house... let me tell you.

I will come to your house and steal the contents of your junk drawer. Every battery, elastic band, bag grip, piece of string, candle and doohickey. BWAHAHAHAHA

The scoop for the cat litter tray 😆

Well, I have had this (sort of) actually happen. I was seeing someone for a while and when we went our separate ways he had a few bits to pick up from my house. I left them in my car and said he could grab them from there whenever he wanted as I was working.

I got back and he'd taken his stuff, but also the cover from the volume control knob on the stereo of my car. Thus leaving me with a little spindle to change the volume with, which if you caught it wrong, changed all the audio settings...in Russian.

It remains the best, most passive aggressively inconvenient thing that someone's ever done to me.

I know he’s an ex so obviously a bastard, but that’s some inspired evil genuising @daisyjgrey

@MrsTerryPratchett

All their shopping bags, so when they come to grab some bags to go shopping there aren’t any.

The key to the gas and electricity meter cupboards.

The weight on the bottom of the light pully string in the bathroom.

The little jug that comes with the iron to pour in the water.

The spindle adapter for playing 45RPM records with wide spindle holes.

@Cornettoninja ah he's ok, it was all in good terms, which just makes it funnier tbh 😂

@daisyjgrey glad to hear it - sounds like it would be daft to make a mortal enemy of him

@Cornettoninja he'd have the batteries out of my remote in a trice!

Lube (all of it)

people who live here take my sharpies 😡

One pillow case from every bedding set so you have no matching sets.

@PuttingDownRoots
Reporting you for breaking into my house.

All the front door keys except one so if you get back before the key holder you have to wait outside for them

I can't find my deodorant so I propose they steal deodorant because it's really fecking annoying!

Door handles. Or find a way to just take them off of one side of each door.

The start button on the washing machine.

Light shades.

Batteries from all the torches.

Fluid out of lighters but not the lighters themselves.

Wicks from candles.

Milk shelf in the fridge door.

All but 1 of the phone chargers.
All the bin bags
All the light bulbs

The letter e from your key board

That is absolut ly cru l and compl t ly m an!