You’re a burglar, BUT you can only steal…

[MzHz]

… things that mildly inconvenience your victim.

what are you taking?

I’m stealing the fronts to all your freezer drawers, and the clips closing your packs of open frozen veg…

I saw this on FB and the comments were hilarious. I’m sure Vipers can do waaaay better!

over to you!

Lighthearted, btw. Just in case the heat gets to anyone and it’s not obvious

@WellThatsMeScrewed today of all days?! That's below the belt.

@SpikyHatePotato that is tied with the freezer drawers for most evil.

Tweezers

Phone charger
Toothpaste
Fuse from plug
Passport
Reset phone pin
Reset wifi password
Lid on butter tub

the potato masher…

but at least your drawer would close

The lids to all your toiletries and cleaning products.

one leg from your kitchen table.

your radiator bleeding key and the latch on the loft hatch.

your spare batteries.

any takeaway leaflets stuck on your fridge door.

Plus from washbasins, sinks etc

Your favourite mug…

AND I’d write a note in the first page of all those notebooks you’re hoarding saving for best

The wicks from all the candles.

Every single button, zip and fastening device on every single item of clothing alongside all the leggings, jeggings and gym wear. Not because I have a fetish for such things, only to inconvenience you.

And I'm taking your string too. All of it. There will be no trousers tied up with string. I'll take all safety pins as well.

All their left shoes.

A lot of these are much more than mildly inconvenient!

Steal The lids from fizzy drink bottles so that the contents becomes just "drink"
Steal the decent sharp knife and leave the crap ones.
Steal the cat food but leave the hungry cat.

Steal the front door bell when you've taken a day off work to wait in for a scheduled delivery

The tin opener

Bedside condoms..

All the pens

Your child's bedtime toy.

ibuprofen/paracetamol
nail file
long kitchen matches (for lighting bbq)
measuring tape
salt pot

The bit that goes on the end of the spout of a whistling kettle.
The Christmas tree stand.
The sharpie pen that's kept specifically for labelling school uniform.

Dishwasher tablets and salt
The cheese grater
Spare hoover bags
All the hoover attachments
Electric toothbrush chargers
All the floss out of the dental floss
All the conditioner (but none of the shampoo)
The printer ink
The cards for the prepayment gas/electricity meters
The key for the gas cupboard
The bits off the hob
The card reader identity machine thing for online banking verification
The computer mouse
The enter key and space bar from the computer keyboard
All the suncream

All pet food bowls (but will leave the food) and any saved takeaway tubs, so that you will have to feed them from 'human' dishes and decide whether you can cope with washing them and using them again. I will also be burgling in the middle of the night, mid week, so your pets will be waiting for breakfast and you won't have time to go to the shops before they are fed.

All the scissors in the house.
When they try to buy more scissors, they'll find you need a pair of scissors to open the packet the new scissors are in.

The return key, space bar & the e key on every keyboard.

The ace of spades

The car keys but not the car
TV remote
one from every pair of socks that aren’t black
all the matches/lighters

All the screw caps from your bottles of booze.

The salt.

The sellotape. They will get all their wrapping gear only to find out there's no bastarding sellotape.

Nothing more annoying (I speak from recent experience)