You’re a burglar, BUT you can only steal…

[MzHz]

… things that mildly inconvenience your victim.

what are you taking?

I’m stealing the fronts to all your freezer drawers, and the clips closing your packs of open frozen veg…

I saw this on FB and the comments were hilarious. I’m sure Vipers can do waaaay better!

over to you!

Lighthearted, btw. Just in case the heat gets to anyone and it’s not obvious

All your egg cups
The vowels from your Scrabble set
Your key to the shed
Every other steps from your ladder

Alright, my spoons are missing- which of you is responsible??

Dental floss.
Not life changing but god if you have a stubborn bit of food stuck in your teeth you need that stuff.

Gosh , we really are an evil bunch

I've loved every one of these suggestions and had a giggle when I used my electric toothbrush this morning knowing I could have stolen it from your bathroom 🤭

If you have just had a delivery from Gusto or Hello Fresh I'm taking all the recipe cards and one of the ingredients, nothing you have in the cupboard, the single cardamom or the rice wine.

This is funny.

I'd take the knob off one end of each of your curtain poles.

Any bookmark within the pages of a book.

Your box of matches that's in the cake cupboard for birthday candles

Your caster sugar

Switch round the plain flour and the self raising flour into the wrong packets so everything you bake is wrong.
Put a few teaspoons of salt into the sugar bowl and a load of sugar into the salt cellar so you can't use either.

A burglar in our local area stole a leg of lamb from the first house and inadvertently left it on the stairs of the second house.

I'm not minimising the pain of being burgled but coming back to find a random piece of meat slightly amused me.

You have just won the audition for the next Bond Arch villain!

All the plain black socks/tights and all trainer socks
Hairdryer
Sieve and colander
Skirt hangers
Extractor fans
Ketchup
Toaster

All the lids from your Tupperware

that “go to” knife you use for everything

God… you got to my under counter fridge…. DS uses it as it keeps our food safe, but it’s too small for family and nothing bloody fits once you have the milk and juice in the cubby meant for salad…

I'm the burglar.
I'm not going to steal anything.
But I will use your fabric scissors to cut several dozen sheets of thick paper.
Then replace them carefully where I found them...

Your favourite frying pan, so you have to use one that's too big or too small.

The knob for the front left gas ring.

The box of chocolates you've been saving.

Power cable for the TV.

you've been in my house haven't you

I'd steal the hour hand from every clock.

The fuse from every plug in the house😁

All the batteries in the house.
Every single left shoe.
All the cutlery.
Door handles all over the house.
Drawer and door knobs in the kitchen.
The kettle.
The metallic/suction thingy that keeps the fridges and freezers shut.

I’m taking all the pens that work and have lids

You don’t actually need to steal anything. You can just move key things around.

For example, you could put the remote control in the back of the drawer where all the rarely used, weird kitchen implements live. No need to steal it.

Your child's favourite toy

I think a previous burglar may have foiled the plan by stealing the lids - as I have so many pens without lids.

Staples, ink cartridges but leave the box, the snappy thing in lever arch files oh and use masking tape (ideally theirs to cover all labels). Of and I want the latter e from your computer and laptop

all the teaspoons

usb sockets

the bulbs from all lamps (forcing you to use the big light)

the kettle base

cupboard door knobs

any lighters/matches

the tv remote batteries

Picture hooks

almost all of the shower gel/shampoo/conditioner (leaving the almost empty bottle)

All but 1 sheet of toilet paper

Great thread BTW!

The bathroom door handle

The element in the kettle