You’re a burglar, BUT you can only steal…

[MzHz]

… things that mildly inconvenience your victim.

what are you taking?

I’m stealing the fronts to all your freezer drawers, and the clips closing your packs of open frozen veg…

I saw this on FB and the comments were hilarious. I’m sure Vipers can do waaaay better!

over to you!

Lighthearted, btw. Just in case the heat gets to anyone and it’s not obvious

The nice expensive hairdressing scissors I bought during lockdown have now been appropriated to cut the fur around my ragdoll's furry little bum so you are welcome to them!

You can have my scissors and I will take all of your door handles!

Pall mall and the dog from monopoly
Colonel Saunders and the lead pipe from the Cluedo
Both kings off the chess board
The Xbox controllers
All the birth certificates
All the home insurance information
The pasta strainer
The corkscrew and bottle opener

All your door handles and knobs off the cupboards.

And not stealing but I would unscrew all of your salt and pepper/ spice jar lids so when you go for a sensible sprinkle, it all dumps out on your plate

Ahhh What !!! They have a button???

I thought the button was a test button, I waft stuff at them like a loon

All the teaspoons

One card (the same one) from each pack of cards
The pull cord for the bathroom light
All the scrunching/ hair bands
Loo seat

I would say one of every sock, and all the hair bands, but there's obviously already someone on the case.

All the hair bands
the kitchen roll
the keys that open your windows
various playing cards, and jigsaw pieces

by the way no one is stealing the pain killers from my house - you would need to prise them out of my cold, dead, hands, lol.

I'm going to take all the heads belonging to your electric toothbrush

They are so blooming expensive ..

The sticky bit from one side of every nappy
The seal sticker on every pack of baby wipes
The envelope for every card
The lids off all the pens
All the medicine spoons and Calpol syringes
The plunger bit for the cafetière
All their cigarette rolling papers
The fuses from all the plugs and all the spare fuses
The lid to the crock pot
Open all the crackers, cereal and biscuits slightly so they go soft

The cats have already stolen the jigsaw pieces!

Bath/sink plug whole 🫢🤣

This thread really reminds me of this song

When I was teaching in a not-very-nice-school, the kids used to steal ONE battery ... the teacher didn't notice the weight difference, but would stand there for ages pointing a piece of useless plastic at the projector whilst the class were wetting themselves laughing. Kind!

The silicone lid for the tins of cat food. Means arseing around with foil or cling film to stop the fridge smelling of Butcher's.

The little brush thing that cleans the drainhole in the back of the fridge although I suspect DP's done that already, going by the puddle of water underneath the door

The toe separators when my polish needs redoing.

The large nail clippers. More so because the spare pair was repurposed into guitar string cutters and is therefore in the bottomless pit that is the studio.

One of each set of pillowcases.

Just one lace is more annoying!!

OMG was it you? You’ve been here? 😂

Dishwasher tablets and the washing up sponge/brush

The Wi-Fi router, yes they could switch to data, but it will soon burn through the data packages.

The toothpaste.

And the post it reminder you have stuck to your front door

All the handles/ knobs for the cupboards and drawers, plus the dials to turn on/ adjust the heat on the oven and hob.

The pull cords or twirly rod things that let you pull the blinds up/ down or adjust the slats to let the light in.

I asked DS and he went for outdoors- steal the spare tyre from the car and leave a spike on the driveway.

I then expanded on it by stealing the windscreen wiper rubber blades.

Indoors- the tent mallet so that you have to find a rock to bash your tent pegs in (which will bend them).

The ballcocks from the loos

Pen lids and teaspoons.

My eldest son has gone off to work with my car keys. I turned the house upside down looking for them. Fortunately I am not mad and I have a spare!