Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

Place marking

Ending up having to sell my lovely house and ending up in rented in my 60s and having to rebuild our business and lives after lockdown took everything away.

@Fadeout83 I hear you. Lost my amazing dad last year at the same age to covid. Feel so robbed.

Similarly to others, having disabled dc, eldest on a part time timetable for the first 3 years of school. New placement beckons though, so feeling quietly hopeful.

Related to the above, becoming a sahm after having a professional job. Never dreamt my life would be what it is, but I try to be thankful for what I do have. Its opened my eyes and taught me a lot.

Life is shit sometimes, for all of us in different ways. We're all trying to make the best of it, with varying degrees of success.

Should say dhs cancer followed by lockdown took everything away

Having a child with special needs. I know how terrible it sounds but I really did think that happens to other people.
Similar to others as someone who was a size 10 max for most of my life finding weight creeping on in my late thirties/ early forties is something I've found difficult to deal with even though I know how shallow it sounds
Being a sahm is another one. I always expected to have an amazing career of my own. Also didn't expect that DH would earn over 100k plus per year

Yep me too

As time has gone on I've got too many friends who have since lost their little ones

@Kennykenkencat me too!
Lost everything due to lock down, house, business, financial security! Renting now, normal day job, don't know what the future holds, its a daily worry, but this thread is very humbling, all I have really lost is money, albeit a lot! I do worry what will happen when I'm too old to earn the rent, I am nearly 60!

Having three sick premature babies.
Having twins.
Finally getting the courage to cut my mother out of my life.
Having my own beautiful family, I never thought I deserved such happiness.

I never thought I'd get cancer at 23.
(4 years on and have life long complications and a big chance of coming back but I'm here and I'm okay, I can't be anymore thankful for that.)
Having a baby after this with IVF.
Having a nice house and a nice car.

But the nice things can only be nice if you have your health.

Life can be fleeting. Keep an eye on your bodies.

Being severely bullied at school by someone who managed to turn a who!e class against me.

Being molested at 11 and never telling anyone

Severe mental health issues for last 30 years but getting through the really tough times and learning to manage it with meds and therapy and a few very very good friends

Being divorced with a child (now grown up) and single for 13 years as the Eddie such a good job making me believe I was worthless

On a positive, an amazing daughter and a high level job that I love.

I never thought I'd be one of those lesbians.

I never imagined that I would be 60 , single,, financially unstable and that separation would be to do with cheating on his part.
That I was a SAHM for so long and probably not have any weddings or grandchildren.

Being a single mum. Abortion. Still working 60 hour weeks in my 40s to pay the mortgage, due to being single.

Having an autistic child

Having no friends! I always had lots of friend during school and Uni, I am not really sure what happened.

Being married with children and a stay at home mum to 4 ,2 have autism and learning difficulties so I couldn’t work as they are not in school.
never would of dreamed this
my dream was to be a social worker ,all I cared about ,never interested in boys or men
sometimes I sit and wonder how I got to this situation
life is what happens when your busy making plans

Losing my Dad to suicide, never ever thought that would happen. I would have thought he would be the last person to do that. I know much more about this kind of thing now sadly, but it hit me like such a ton of bricks because he always seemed so happy and strong.

Being happy, being successful, making good money. Can't believe its happened to me which makes me constantly terrified it will go wrong.

Divorced, married a very difficult toxic man who remains difficult years on.

Now estranged from my teenage DC, who has been turned by XH and his new woman. Drip, drip, drip of poison for years. DC is too old for me to influence whether they see me or not so there’s nothing I can do but their behaviour mirrors XH’s and is unkind to say the least.

I gave up everything for my marriage and DC, lucrative career to move overseas. XH was free and easy with money (much of it mine) and a financial disaster.

I’m trying to claw back a bit of stability but the last few years have entirely broken my spirit.

Negative:

Father committing suicide when I was 22.

Being disappointed with the way my two sons live their lives.

Son 1 is 31, has never really worked, has 4 children by 4 different women, has been in trouble with the police lots of times when he was younger and spent 3 months in young offenders. Son 1 also binge drinks and goes missing for days on end. The last time, 2 weeks ago, I had to involve the police because I thought he may have come to harm (long story).

Son 2 is 21, suffers from anxiety, has a job but is just about clinging on to it because he's forever ringing in sick or sleeping through his alarm and just not bothering to go in. Son 2 has a massive weed smoking habit, which I think is a lot of the reason why he struggles to get up for work..

When you have babies you don't envision that this is how they will behave, you bring them up to the best of your ability and just assume that they will be upstanding members of society.. well that's what I naively thought anyway.

Positive:

Passing my driving test at the age of 52 (still can't quite believe I managed to do this). Having my very own car!

Finding the most beautiful, kind, caring, doting man and marrying him this year.

Becoming Supervisor in my dept. I would never have believed I'd have the confidence for it, turns out I have!

Travelling with my wonderful Husband 🙂

I never thought I’d drive. I struggled with learning in my teens, found it all overwhelming and I couldn’t focus and felt unsafe so I left it, the anxiety was crippling and I had cried almost every lesson and I felt I was wasting everyone’s time. When my kids started school I felt I was ready to try again but got an automatic which was so much easier, the day I passed was genuinely life changing - I sometimes wonder what I would have done if I’d had that independence and freedom (with regards to job hunts/ going places) years ago and where my life would have been, I’m glad I waited as it means I am where I am but I genuinely never thought I would actually drive/own a car for a big chunk of my life.

Losing my Dad in a split second to an undiagnosed Aneurysm.

Having 2 amazing daughters (both planned) in my late 30's after asking the doctor to refer me to be sterilised in my 20's because I really disliked children and was adamant I wouldn't change my mind.

Living in a big, beautiful house, it makes me smile every time I pull on the drive, we plan to downsize when we retire and I'm already dreading the day we move out.

Didn’t expect to be ‘got’ by Long Covid. My prior good health has just … disappeared. Life is unrecognisable.

Also losing dad to suicide at 21 then brother to suicide last year. Never thought I would go through this pain twice.

Always thought I would get married and live a happy life. Instead I got married, had 2 kids, got divorced. I live on my own now, 2 kids and new DP that I don't live with. I think new P finds me quite hard work sometimes because I've become a bit cynical and don't have a rosy view of the world that I once had. I sometimes think a healthy dose of cynicism is a good thing though.