Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

@IrishMama2015 - bless you! Your weight has nothing to do with deserving anything. I hope you have a very happy life with your DP who clearly loves you for being you.

Many of these: divorce, child with special needs, online dating, far fewer friends than I used to have. Found this thread quite healing actually.

Goes to show we live in a culture that doesn't really prepare us for things going wrong. I don't know exactly how we could be prepared, some kind of resilience training?

Realising that my mum and sister REALLY don’t like me very much, are probably narcissists.

last time I saw my sister I realised just how like my toxic mother she really is.

losing a family to save yourself is crap.

the ONLY comfort I have is that despite them kicking me when I was as down as a person can possibly get, I now live a life that must irk the shit out of them. They were always apparently spectacularly jealous of me but with no real reason. Now at least they have something to be jealous of.

On the upside. I never though I’d get a dog.
best thing ever x
actually borrowing his sister this week was even more fantastic so here are the twinnies.

Being the one who got married and had kids, while my brother did neither (he always seemed much more the family type than me)

Having 3 kids in 3 years after swearing for most of my adult life that I'd never have any

Having twins

Being widowed at 24. We had only been married a matter of months, had been together 9 years. It still doesn’t seem real nearly 7 years later. I still wake up some days and get that awful feeling in my chest when I realise what’s happened and I’m not living my old life. I have a new DP and have since had DC3 but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. When I tell the story of what happened, I feel like I’m talking about someone else.

Having to leave the church I have loved and served all my life because they ‘can’t define what a woman is now’.

I feel your pain.

Getting married, having children, being a SAHM, raising a child alone, discontinuing a career I loved.

Slept with someone after a party. OH wasn't there it was works, I had too many felt OK then woke up on a bed settee with someone from the office I was working at. Worst time ever was when I told my husband. Later found out I was pregnant, we couldn't pretend it was his as the man I slept with was of a different ethnicity. Couldn't see myself having an abortion, OH stood by me. I was very ill when the baby was due and almost died. Baby only lived a little over a week, I don't really remember him. Couldn't have any more children. By the time I recovered the baby had died and OH had dealt with everything.

A couple of years later OH had gone off again, he occasionally would disappear for a couple of hours, I spotted his car and went to see what he was up to. He was sitting in the garden of remembrance and explained he came down now and again to tell the little boy how his sisters were. Took me home (children with gran) and showed me a little box from the loft with the paperwork for the son I'd had and some photos. First time I'd seen them. Think that was when I truly started to come to terms with what had happened. Always grateful to have had his love and support.

Abortion.
Hyperemesis gravidarum
Mental ill health that has meant that I never lived up to my early potential (good grades, top university). I self medicated with alcohol and drugs for many years - almost always holding down a job, but it took its toll on relationships and prospects, and I suffered with low self esteem (still do but I'm working on it).
So lucky in my choice of husband - he's loved me unconditionally and stood by me when others would have walked away.

Be lonely with no friends.
Be the unsuccessful one in the family.

My mum dropping down dead without warning... Then, 5 and a half months later, my lovely friend being murdered by her husband. Both have utterly blindsided me.

I never thought I would have a mental break down and end up on a long term psych ward.

Being lonely.
At 37 I'm jealous of people who are still best friends with people they went to school with.
I had good friends in secondary school then I got pregnant, 15/20 years later I'm still losing friends. I know it's my issues but sometimes it's them.
Im lonely.

My ex mother in law (RIP) telling me that I was an intelligent man.

Such a sad story for you, but what a wonderful partner

Loosing an immediate family member to suicide. We were the family other people were jealous of. So close, so happy, so fun loving.

Not a big deal in the context of this thread, but having to pull my business’ arse out of the fire. Thought I was set for life, and having to force myself face the tough financial decisions and restructuring just doesn’t seem real. I keep thinking it will just work out somehow, and really bully myself into dealing with it. It very nearly is not ok. It will never be what it was, and I am not sure what I will do now. While I did know how lucky I was, I didn’t know they were my golden years. I can’t really believe it’s happening and I have to force myself to take the actions that mean it will be ok, rather than muddle on hoping it will be ok.

Having a disabled child (autism and development delay)
Not getting married
Having an emotionally abusive DP (Note, EXDP)
Having a crucial house purchase fall through

Being single for 5 years!

I was always in relationships - literally never single - from 16 to 33. Left that one nearly five years ago, and I haven't fancied anyone available / compatible since then! Also wasn't prepared for how liberating I'd find the first few years of being completely single - I didn't date at all, nothing, during that time. Barely date now, to be honest! 😂

Also - not only getting a dog, but loving dogs in general!

I grew up with cats and thought dogs were too clingy. Fast forward to today, and I walk dogs for a living, plus adopted my own dog last year - and now I'm the clingy one, with him, haha.

I kind of love how life is so wild and unpredictable. Feels like a blank canvas, and we can change at any time.

Anorexia, postnatal depression, divorce and the mother of a child, with a chronic pain condition.

Never thought I would become an associate professor after failing my A levels.

My son dying when he was 6 months and I was 29.

Being bullied at school. I didn't even realise what was happening to me until the latter half of primary school. I can remember exactly where I was and who I was with at the exact moment I realised I was actually That Bullied Kid. Also never expected it to continue and happen in every area of my life.

Ditto abuse at home.

Rape. Abortion. Ending up on the dole. Single parenthood, twice. Divorce. Homelessness. Being in a refuge twice. Domestic abuse. Ending up in a wheelchair.

There came points in my life where I realised something was more likely to occur. But I never imagined any of my actual life, when I was small.