Things that happened to you that you thought would never happen to someone like you?

[besentsl]

Me… abortion. Thought it happened to other women.

Later on a single parent. Was not at all what I thought I would allow to happen but of course you learn life isn’t like that! Many people said they couldn’t believe it had happened as I’m quite conservative and careful but it did!

Sometimes I don’t recognise me though I am still me. Anyone else experienced this?

I got a career. Nobody in my family has qualifications and I don’t find learning easy. But I plodded on, got qualified and pinch myself every day about having the career I dreamed of for so long.

I was raised in a really dysfunctional home and conditioned to have very low self esteem. I never thought I'd be able to be thought of by others as anything over than a selfish drama queen. But one day I signed my son up to the local nursery and the staff member shouted through to the office "The smiley lady wants a registration form" and the manager knew who I was. Apparently that's what they all knew me as from when they'd seen me walking past with the kids.

A friend was killed. Murdered by a man she was dating. Still feels weird writing it down and it happened a few years ago. I can’t go see her, because she was murdered. I know someone who was killed. So weird :(

Love this!!! Keep smiling

Withdrawing my DD’s life support. Burying her. it was, and still is like living in a movie. I still can’t believe it.

having a DH who is amazing, and successful enough so we could move somewhere “naice”

being fat. Was 8 stone for years and years and years.

Being cheated on by H, who had not so much as looked at another woman in 16 years. That was 9 months ago, and I'm a shadow of myself and struggling with being a single mum with zero help from him

I grew up thinking my parents hated me, was bullied terribly all the way through school, hated everything about myself. So I never thought I'd find and marry a man who tells me he loves me a dozen times a day, still fancies me like mad after 15 years together and makes me feel completely loved. I also never thought I could feel love like this for anyone. Didn't know I had it in me.

Cutting all contact with my Mum. I thought I'd stick it out until the bitter end because I was too scared not to.

And facing homelessness and financial ruin because I had to become a full time carer for my disabled child.

Also actually marrying a lovely man, spending 20 happy years with each other and still going strong. I thought I'd marry and arsehole like my Dad.

Finding love at 44, I honestly believed I’d never meet anyone.

On a lighter note...I never thought I'd get fed up of nightclubs. When I was in my late teens/early twenties I thought I'd always love going out.

Never knew it was possible to marry someone just to use them as a service human. I thought if DH (DH) asked me to marry him he loved and respected me and liked me.

Didn't know asexuality was a thing (really, it is, DP had sex to procreate after marriage and then just stopped. Not gay, no wanking, and no porn - truly).

Didn't think that I could be abused or that when I said I wanted a divorce my DH would manipulate the situation for SIX YEARS so he could stay and continue using me as his service human.

Not only did I not think these things could happen to someone like me, I didn't even know they were possible.

Not listening to my gut and ending up with a truly horrible man.

Being a single parent.

Being single for a long time.

Also - having two amazing neurodiverse children. I worked in ASN schools as a professional, not a teacher, and I was gobsmacked by the challenges and joy they've brought to me.
Losing my sister to suicide. It's a hard one, we'd done all we could but she was so unhappy. I'm still angry with her though☹️.

After an emotionally abusive childhood in poverty I didn't imagine I'd end up with a nice (if modest) house in the country with a loving husband and 2 gorgeous kids.
Also didn't imagine one of those kids would struggle with their neuro diversity affecting their social acceptability so much their self esteem is on its knees and they wish for death and talk of suicide, at the age of 9.

Things I didnt think would happen to someone like me:

Marrying someone who turned out to have been gay the whole time
Getting divorced, 3 weeks before DD with new partner was born (classy)
Becoming new DH's 4th wife (no previous DC's)
Coping with a suididal, seriously mentally ill DH, losing our business, coping with bankruptcy and losing our house.

But we're all in good health now, DC's all doing fine, 2 good jobs and a lovely place to live. We have a huge amount to be grateful for.

But this thread makes you realise few people have an easy path.

Having a recent nervous breakdown. Can't believe it. In my 49 years I've been through a lot such as abusive parent, pregnancy losses, a cardiac arrest, DH with addiction and unfaithful but mentally always stayed strong, I honestly thought I was invincible. But I crashed a couple of months ago and although I'm on the road to recovery I still can't believe that I spent a few weeks unable to get out of bed or even speak or eat. I'm shocked bit a lot more aware that I need to prioritise myself a bit more, I really don't want that happening again.

Having children affected by autism and ADD.
Took years to come to terms with one needing residential schooling and then a care home and will always need 24 hr care. Others have struggled st school, all under CAMHS, teen pregnancy, no friends, been really tough.
I never thought this would happen to me,

Widowed. after an unexpected cancer diagnosis

Having Covid last year and being on a ventilator for 2 weeks. I had a stroke at the same time. I'm about 90% back to how I used to be

Having the guts to cut contact with my bullying nasty sister.

It's been a year and I don't miss her at all. No longer waking on eggshells, no longer seeing her name in a text or call and stomach churning dread at what I be 'in for' from her. Coming from an abusive childhood, she just kept me down most of my adult life.

So many difficult issues so many of us are dealing with. 😔

Your experience really epitomises love's power. Such a beautiful story born of a sad experience. I am sure it has profoundly shaped the way you live your life.

Never thought I would fall out with my twin sister.
Up to the age of 35 we either saw or spoke to each other multiple times a day, then we didn't speak for 12 years. Speak now but only once or twice a year. Our relationship will forever be different 🙁
I always feel sorry for twins, it is such a complex relationship that I'm not sure anybody can truly understand unless they are one.

Losing my child to suicide.
I have a life story that would be rejected as a storyline for EastEnders for being too unrealistic.
So much tragedy and on the other hand, some really astonishing good luck.
But when I was in the thick of raising 5 little DC I never, ever imagined a life without one of them.

Having severe OCD (probably since childhood) which led to several breakdowns and one serious suicide attempt. All good now thanks to therapy/family help but it flares up now and again.

Having my DS. He is an absolute joy and makes me smile every day.

Being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease mid 40s. I was never ill, I’m still not except this thing that’s happening in my brain that I can’t control and is very slowly taking over. I just get on with my life and job, family and friends are great but they don’t understand.