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Original poster

What do you regret at your wedding

195 replies

lumothesumo · 16/07/2022 22:32

Wedding tips urgently needed.
What do you regret?
What do you wish you did/didn't do
Any wedding hacks?
I need urgent help

OP posts:
Ragwort · 17/07/2022 10:09

Nothing - but it was very small and simple, three guests at the register office, two more joined us for lunch and then we were finished by 3pm ish and on our way to a lovely overnight stay in a 'restaurant with rooms' that was very special to us.

No guest lists, no speeches (just a 'toast'), no presents, no posh clothes, no angst - not expensive and no regrets - married 35 years.

Actually there is one regret - I booked a 'make up' for the morning - it looked awful so I washed it off and did my own Grin.

Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 17/07/2022 10:12

We were pressured into having a large wedding by my mil (she didn’t pay a penny towards the day) because she didnt want any of her relatives being offended by not getting an invite. We ended up spending thousands all on one day on people we mostly don’t see anymore. We could have used the money to pay down the mortgage - why oh why didn’t we?! It was a complete waste of money. I wanted a small wedding. I wanted to wear my hair down - I was even pressured into not having that.

We spent £12k on our honeymoon and that was worth every penny. I wish we’d got married on the beach.

Sammilouwho · 17/07/2022 10:13

Having a family wedding.
I wanted to go abroad and get married in New York library but we went along with what family wanted and whilst the venue was beautiful, one side of the family fell out and still don't talk to each other, I didn't get to chose my bridesmaids. The memory of my wedding (aside from the vows) are awful.

So yeah, have the wedding you want, not somebody else's wedding!

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iklboo · 17/07/2022 10:13

Having the DJ that came with the package. He was awful. Just wanted to play 'party' songs despite the floor emptying every time he put one on. When we asked him to announce we were leaving he said

'Aw, I was going to get you up on stage & have everyone sing Angels to you'

WTAF?!

merryhouse · 17/07/2022 10:32

prangy · 16/07/2022 22:52

Blimmin hell. The fact you're asking this is alarming. It's a marriage. Not just a wedding.

Well perhaps - just perhaps - the OP is one of those people who is entirely satisfied about her preparations for her marriage, and is asking for advice on possibly the biggest party she'll ever throw (at least for a quarter of a century)?

Just because some people don't like parties, or because other people are having to concentrate on the difficulties in their relationship, doesn't mean the rest of us can't have some fun.

DottyLittleRainbow · 17/07/2022 10:44

Not doing a few of the family group shots or at least one shot with all the guests in. I don’t like being photographed but I really regret not having them. Photographer didn’t give the best advice and I was recovering from PND when wedding planning so didn’t have my head in the game really.

Tropicalsunshine · 17/07/2022 10:45

I had arranged to travel to the venue with my mum before meeting my dad there (divorced).
She was really stressy leaving the house and on the way there and really ruined the experience. I recommend keeping your close friend/s around you to make it fun. Give people who are likely to be stressed another job far away from you!

Honeyroar · 17/07/2022 10:49

I regret not having my very long, thick hair cut shorter so it had been easier to style/put up. I also wish I’d had a veil, but didn’t because my hair already took so many pins to get up.
I regret a few friends being left off the list for people we felt obligated to invite and never see.

takeitandleaveit · 17/07/2022 11:11

I got ridiculously tied up in whether or not the bridesmaids' shoes would match their dresses.

My biggest tip to you would be:

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 17/07/2022 11:11

I wanted to have a more informal wedding, scrapping the traditional sit down meal, in order to invite more people and would have been happy with a hog roast/buffet village hall style do. my DH convinced me to go for a more traditional hotel set up. The hotel was lovely but we had to be careful with the quantities of food, drink and guests.

I also wish we'd had a videographer. We decided against it for financial reasons and also to not feel self conscious but would love to be able to look back on the day again - especially those people no longer with us.

our photographer was great but like the common theme was resistant to the traditional group shots. We stood our ground and minimised our couple photos time and insisted on a few lovely group shots but he missed some key shots I had specially asked for including ones of me with my two grandmas alone (I only have one taken hurriedly by another guest of me with both nans in the same picture. It would have meant the world for both of them to have their own picture taken with me)

cottagegardenflower · 17/07/2022 11:13

Marrying exH

alphapie · 17/07/2022 11:13

I regret forgetting veil weights!

We're in my Amazon basket but forgot to checkout and the wind took my veil, fucking up my hair in the process, my poor dad had no clue so just shoved it back in before walking down the aisle Grin

MsMiaWallace · 17/07/2022 11:15

Telling a work colleague the details of my holiday abroad. She booked & gatecrashed . She wore white too!

cottagegardenflower · 17/07/2022 11:16

Good photographer. Not personally but I have a photoshop business and recently had a request from a lady as something (no idea what) meant she had no decent pics at all. Nice dress, lovely reception so no idea. Anyway I photoshopped the few photos she had into lovely locations (ie not the car park)

familyissues12345 · 17/07/2022 11:21

My biggest regret was the size of the wedding - we had an awful lot of people and as both DH and I are pretty introverted, we would have been more comfortable if it had been smaller. My parents were desperate for it to be a big shindig (only daughter), so took over a bit Confused

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 17/07/2022 11:24

Regret inviting MIL,who behaved atrociously. And some of the guests who i no longer see.

QueSyrahSyrah · 17/07/2022 11:25

MsMiaWallace · 17/07/2022 11:15

Telling a work colleague the details of my holiday abroad. She booked & gatecrashed . She wore white too!

ShockShockShockShockShock No way?!? Shock

This takes the edge off a couple of my incredibly nosy work colleagues turning up at the venue to watch me arrive. They made a nuisance of themselves asking family which direction I'd be coming from (prompting a call to me as I was in the last stressful stages of getting ready) and are then hovering in the background spoiling some of the nicest photos of myself and my bridesmaids arriving Angry

MsMiaWallace · 17/07/2022 11:33

Yeah she & her DH flew out to Greece. Wasn't even that friendly with her.
I only spoke to her about it through chatting at work so she knew which resort, dates etc.
I changed jobs whilst waiting wedding so I no longer worked with her.

She wore white, apparently my DH told her to stand out the way as he wasn't marrying her, which was polite compared to what he could have said!
She then made a show, cried all the way through. Buggered off at the end after getting a wedge of wedding cake. never said bye or F all. Didn't see or speak again!

QueSyrahSyrah · 17/07/2022 11:37

OH MY GOD 😱😱😱

L1ttledrummergirl · 17/07/2022 13:09

Nope, no regrets here. We planned it in 8 weeks, had a church ceremony led by dh childhood vicar, followed by a buffet at a hotel.
We had a coach to transfer guests and dh and I stopped off on the way to visit his great aunt in a nursing home, who was over 100 years at the time and blind so she had to feel my dress. The photographer took some fantastic pictures of her and I'm really glad we did that.

We just wanted a fun, relaxed day for everyone and that's what we achieved. We still have guest say it was the best wedding they have been to and it was 25 years ago.

nannybeach · 17/07/2022 13:12

I forgot,as we changed our wedding to suit MIL,we had to have our Honeymoon before the wedding otherwise we'd have lost the money

pinkymurder · 17/07/2022 13:41
  1. Getting married in July. It was 30 degrees, I was roasting hot, my makeup was sliding off, cake was melting 😂
  2. Doing a DIY wedding, so booking all the components separately. So stressful. Id book a venue package if I could go back in time.
  3. Getting as pissed as I did on an empty stomach. I was too nervous to eat much and I was completely shitfaced.
bowchicawowwow · 17/07/2022 13:51

The dress. I'm a massive introvert and planned to get married in my jeans. I don't wear dresses, they don't suit me and the very small guest list were told that the dress code was super casual, as in wear what you would to the pub. Not one of them listened and started emailing me the pics of their formal outfits in the week before. I ended up quickly buying a casual dress for next day delivery which I wore and hated. I felt ridiculous and binned the wedding photos

pinkymurder · 17/07/2022 13:59

Funny how many of us regret getting so pissed 😄

Benjispruce4 · 17/07/2022 14:04

I had such a tension headache at my wedding that I couldn’t really drink so was quite sober. I felt high on the day’s exciting and significance. We had a jacuzzi in our suite and I finally felt relaxed and relieved enough when we opened the complimentary champagne in the jacuzzi. I hated taking my wedding dress off. Felt so ordinary the next day 😂 🍾