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Original poster

What do you regret at your wedding

195 replies

lumothesumo · 16/07/2022 22:32

Wedding tips urgently needed.
What do you regret?
What do you wish you did/didn't do
Any wedding hacks?
I need urgent help

OP posts:
soupmaker · 17/07/2022 08:10

It's our 10th wedding anniversary this year!

Loved our day. We spent our money on food, drink and the band. No favours, no fancy flowers, no expensive cars.

My only regret is my cousin offered to do the photos and we said yes. We've got a handful of great photos that she took but actually the best ones are some taken by our guests. I wish we'd paid for a photographer.

hopeishere · 17/07/2022 08:12

Not making a list of photos we should do. I really regret not getting one with my mum and aunt.

florianfortescue · 17/07/2022 08:14

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 16/07/2022 22:33

Not videoing the speeches

Me too. I did at least salvage the written notes from each speaker.

I regret letting my hair and make up lady make some changes on the day to what we'd done in the trial - she did my hair and eyebrows differently and I look weird in all the photos.

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Weddings
babyjellyfish · 17/07/2022 08:21

I regret worrying about small stuff, like what one of my husband's witnesses was wearing. (She wasn't a bridesmaid, and the ushers had ties which matches the bridesmaids' dresses.)

I regret having family photos with just my and my husband's brothers and not their partners. It was because we didn't see my brother's girlfriend sticking around long term and there was some tension there, but it means we don't have any family photos with my sisters in law in.

I regret that my mother in law ended up being the only one of our four parents who didn't make some sort of speech, because my parents did one together and then my FIL ended up doing one too.

Also, I was uncomfortable with the whole being given away thing but didn't want to say my dad couldn't walk me down the aisle. We later went to a wedding where the groom walked down the aisle with his mother first, then the father of the groom with the mother of the bride, then finally the bride and her father. It was much less like the bride being given away and much more like two families being joined together, and I wish we had done that.

Fairly small things in the grand scheme of things.

nannybeach · 17/07/2022 08:27

I regret not doing what we wanted,me the old man,4 kids,Gretna Green,small wedding. MIL told in passing it wasn't booked then.(she was a bully, walked out her small kids,went off with another man) Then we had to invite all these people,had to keep changing venues...loosing deposits each time
It's actually our 23rd Wedding anniversary today!

RedElephants · 17/07/2022 08:56

It's our 18th this year, although we've been together 30 years this year.

Book a baby sitter.....Our boys were 3 and 6, when we got married, I really don't know why I didn't think of it, but if I could relive the day, would be to have someone take them home.

Book a Cab.....As it was I couldn't have a drink as I forgot to book a cab to get us home, so I drove us home.

Honeymoon.....Have a Honeymoon! we still haven't had one.

mymysweetthing · 17/07/2022 08:56

Would not have done so many things to keep my/his parents happy. Would have told his dad to basically do one when he threatened to withhold money if he didn't get to invite five sets of friends who a) we'd never met b) didn't even speak to us on the wedding day.

The marriage lasted three years in any case.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/07/2022 09:00

My bridesmaids.

I had my sister, SILs and one friend. If I were to go back, I’d have my sister and friend still but choose more friends instead.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 17/07/2022 09:02

Just about everything bar the groom! I don't think I have anything helpful to add as my wedding was so long ago and organised by my mum. Every bit of input I tried to have was dismissed or criticised.

The one thing I would say is get a good photographer. My daughter got married during the pandemic and we organised the entire thing in the space of three weeks, including a dress from Amazon that cost £ 20! She did look lovely but in the photos the dress looked stunning we were so pleased with the photographer.

CornishTiger · 17/07/2022 09:14

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere interesting that your daughters wedding a short notice and probably better than some of the more longed planned for events.

I had similar short planning for our wedding day. I just wanted to be married and didn’t really care about having a huge do and the cost. In the end it went from a just 2 witnesses and whatever dress I have in wardrobe to a more traditional wedding look.

Statutory ceremony- 2 witnesses - best friend and MIL. Kids there to greet us as married- dressed up lovely. Friend taking photos in a beautiful family members garden. Best friend ordering me bouquets. Me making the female children bouquets ( they looked fab).

Meal at local restaurant for 20. Photos by various friends/family at that bit. I’d have liked more posed shots of that part. I do regret that. And more on the harbour. We live right by a regularly filmed spot.

@lumothesumo a friend had a grand wedding in a grand place. It rained all day. The groom was clever enough to order rainbow umbrellas when he saw the forecast. There are group shots with them all holding brollies. It looks fab and fun. Just like them.

missingeu · 17/07/2022 09:17

Our wedding photographer, he was complete nightmare.
Inviting extended family I'd hardly saw to keep my mum happy. They complained the most.

Tip: practice going to loo in your wedding dress. It's harder than you think fitting a wedding dressing in loo cubicle.

Wedding was 21 years ago, I don't regret wearing converse under my wedding dress as they were comfortable.

MajorCarolDanvers · 17/07/2022 09:19

My cake was too big.

Apart from that no regrets. We kept it straightforward and concentrated on enjoying it and the company of friends and family.

No gimmicks

TimBoothseyes · 17/07/2022 09:21

Putting everyone else's feelings above my own and not cancelling it.

ColourMeExhausted · 17/07/2022 09:23

Congratulations OP! For me, minimal regrets but there's a few, small niggly things though. People not standing when I walked down the aisle (we had an alternative wedding and the registrar who married us was doing it for the first time so there was some confusion). My dad delivering buttonholes for the grooms men to the wrong part of the venue so they didn't have them for the ceremony. The hungover best man who had to be prompted to wake up and play our exit music! Not getting enough photos of me individually as we focused on the group photos. Other than that, it was the perfect day and I hope yours is wonderful too. I don't think any wedding day ever goes smoothly!

ColourMeExhausted · 17/07/2022 09:26

Oh and definitely regret not getting the speeches filmed. We decided not to get a videographer to save money but I really wish we had.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 17/07/2022 09:26

@CornishTiger the wedding had been planned for a few months later and she had a traditional dress in the wedding shop but as she was not having a full on reception - even outdoors we could not have had both sets of immediate family, let alone friends - they decided to go to the beach with her best friends and siblings/partners of the bride and groom. Knowing my own kids I knew that she would end up being dunked in the sea so the dress was deliberately cheap so no one worried about anything happening to it. Two years on she has made the decision to sell the original dress for whatever we can get for it and she will have the money for a holiday as they didn't have a honeymoon.

ShandaLear · 17/07/2022 09:34

Get whatever flowers are in season. I went to an upmarket florist and we sat and designed what I wanted for the bouquets for my bridesmaids and me (and I have no clue about flowers) from this huge book of flowers. They ended costing a fortune. One of the lilies I’d chosen had to be flown in from Brazil and were £5 each, and I had 25 of them. I’m still kicking myself 22 years on!

Spidey66 · 17/07/2022 09:37

Having a church wedding, mainly to keep both sets of parents happy.

Newgirls · 17/07/2022 09:43

Too many guests. I didn’t have time to talk to anyone even beloved grandparents. I shouldn’t have invited whole extended family. Doubt they’d have minded either!

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 17/07/2022 09:52

We supplied all the alcohol up until the bar opened at 7pm. There was plenty and no one went thirsty, but it was such a hot day and the champagne was finished within 45 minutes even though we’d budgeted 3 glasses per person! I will never not be shocked at how much champagne people (me included) can drink. I shouldn’t have listened to my father in law, and gone with my gut instinct to get more champagne than we did. I love having “unlimited” fizz at a wedding (even though of course it’s not expected). We had beers and gin so it was fine but I wish we’d done that detail differently!

ZimZamZoom · 17/07/2022 10:00

I regret not having any decent, traditional, family/group wedding photos.

I also wouldn't recommend leaving a two week gap between the wedding and the honeymoon. I thought it would be nice to spread it out a bit but, in reality, it really burst the bubble having to go back to work in the meantime.

Other than those two tiny things (in the grand scheme) we both loved our wedding day, still talk about it now and are coming up for our 10th anniversary.

Have a lovely day OP, relax and enjoy Flowers

sunglassesonthetable · 17/07/2022 10:00

having set meals- meat for men and chicken for women then chocolate gataeu for men and fruit for women.

Wow have NEVER heard of this!

RainbowForest · 17/07/2022 10:02

I massively regret not videoing the speeches. Absolutely gutted about that.

I was so nervous - literally shaking like crazy. I wish I'd been more relaxed. Not sure how but I would have enjoyed it more.

Spending time with DP. It's amazing how busy the day is that I think now how little time we saw one another on the day!!

Being with my family more. With all guests there - saying hello and chatting to everyone - making sure they were enjoying themselves, I didn't actually sit with my family as much, and I really wish I had.

My wedding dress - wish I'd picked one I liked more and felt more comfy in to be honest. Everyone said it looked amazing but I struggled sitting, going to the loo, could hardly eat. Bloody nightmare.

Guests - there are people we invited that we haven't seen since and our wedding was 7 years ago. At the time there were people we invited who we felt we 'should' invite, and a part of me wishes we hadn't.

Hope you have a fabulous day! 🌸

RainbowForest · 17/07/2022 10:04

Further to my previous post --
One thing we did which everyone loved was we hired a vintage ice cream van which served all different lovely flavours of ice cream and sorbet. It was a beautiful van.
Everyone loved it and it was such a sunny day. If you're getting married in the summer, I'd definitely consider it.

Gensola · 17/07/2022 10:05

Separate meals for men and women! Is this really a thing in UK?! (I am from Ireland and it’s not there, or at least I haven’t seen it!)