Expressions you've learned on Mumsnet which you love

[Homewardbound2022]

All of these were new to me before mumsnet but make me chuckle when I see them:

Cocklodger
Nurse with a purse
LTB
Throw him back

What are your favourites?

I LOVE this!! 🤣

I love this - and it really works as you can use it each time you are put on the spot - it also avoids having to find an excuse - which then just gives someone a target to manipulate.

I like, "You can't reason with batshit.'

I also love:

“Sunlight is the best disinfectant”

which means bring things out in the open.

Also love:

“You didn’t cause it
You can’t control it
and you can’t cure it”

for someone trying to manage someone with a drink problem.

I also like:

”Explains it, doesn’t excuse it”

when someone tries to use the poor MH to excuse bad behaviour / abuse.

spoony fucker and 'not my circus not my monkeys' has entered our family lexicon. The latter has actually genuinely changed my life for the better when it comes to dealing with some extended members of my family.

Cunty chops!!

Thanks @Reality for that. I have become semi famous in my law firm for referring to an arsehole rival law firm as 'CuntyChops and Co'.

You might as well be angry with the rain for being wet.

Be with a man who ruins your lipstick not your mascara. ( Love this )

When people show you who they are, believe them.

No man ( or woman ) is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry.

Oh I knew i was on that spoonyfucker thread. With a username long lost in the mists of time. [my fury hasn't been lost in the mists of time however].

DH is still a bloody spoonyfucker.

SHL is a good one also! (Shit hot lawyer)

Fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there, fuck of some more.

Twunt and Cheeky Fucker.

Found another one reading this thread -

Someone must have left the gate to the cunt farm open.😂.

I usually draw the line at the ‘c’ word but this is so funny. 😂

When people show you who they are, believe them.

I need to put this up in my hallway.

Oh, I think it's here that I first came across the term "like playing chess with a pigeon."

Self-Serving Thundercunt.

Still the best description of our soon-to-be-ex-Prime Minister I have ever heard.

Another fave:

looks fade but dumb is forever.

Used several times. Even my kids understand it!

Absolutely this, I told my sisters this one, hilarious 😂

CuntyChops

Fuck You Chris and the High Horse you rode in on

Not my circus not my monkeys
Diagram or it didn't happen
ODFOD
WTAF
fanjo
fanny gallops
Never complain, never explain

Oh, unclench.

Is it really a bad day ? Or just a bad 5 mins you're milking all day..
someone to a husband who was wearing the dgod

@Signoramarella

looks fade but dumb is forever.

Brilliant! And so true. 😂

Someone poisoned the water with arsehole again.

Love this 😂

I’d rather shot in my hands and clap!

*shit

I always liked 'fanjo', but I've not seen it used for a while

My DH uses this expression now 🕷