What does upper middle class look like?

[LabradorsLabradorsLabradors]

In conversation with an acquaintance (unrelated, but about the readership of the New Statesman magazine), I was just referred to as upper middle class. I'm not, by the way. Or at least not in the way I think of it. I was a lower middle class child who went to a smart school on an assisted place, did well academically, and married 'up' (I guess quite a long way up), having met DH through mutual friends. It just galls a bit, because I'm proud of my roots (Jewish refugees, tenant farmers, an early Labour MP), and want my kids to be too.

It was a pretty confident assertion, given she doesn't know much about me, and I'm wondering what made her think that. What does upper middle class look like?

The Middleton family.

This.

To me these discussions are about as relevant and meaningful as a debate about star signs. Completely meaningless and in this case absolutely subjective. You will be to others as they perceive you; that is founded on how you present yourself and the other party's preconceptions. The question is, for me, why does it matter to you? Families change and evolve over generations. Look at the Middleton's or Alan Sugar. How people categorise those two will be influenced by many factors.

Put yourself in what ever bucket you believe that you belong in, just don't expect everyone to agree with you.

Somebody mentioned Yoanna Hanbury on Insta as being a good example of UMC. She just looks like any other mid 30s woman round here (shitty northern town) wearing knock off designer gear, lightened hair, blingy 🙄

@Namecangeonce Yoanna Hanbury is actually the daughter of a German princess so she is proper European aristocratic. Married to upper class polo player Charlie Hanbury. They live in an estate in the home counties with their young daughters. Love her page & Mrs Alice for complete escapism!

@Namecangeonce Yoanna's outfits certainly aren't knock off!

She might be the genuine article but the pouting and posing are all a bit 'look at me' ostentatious and no different from the million posts I see from bog standard w/c folk on FB who've had their brows done and are wearing Versace knock offs from the local market.Sadly the camera really cannot differentiate....😂

I’d be bloody fantastic at being UMC.

Boarding Boarding schools, large country pile, house in a nice area of London, Caribbean for new years, skiing in Feb, Cornwall or sailing in the summer, shooting, horses...

RP accent, trace family back a few generations with possible minor aristo ancestry, inherited furniture, jewellery and silver.

DH family on one side are like this, the monogrammed family silver was sold during the 1980’s and I have seen photos of oil portraits from the 18th century that were stolen in a burglary. Very minor French aristocratic ancestry though many of his family still all these hundreds of years later still speak French. Sold now but he asked me to marry him in the grounds of the house his family had owned for a few generations not a Manor House but a lovely house with a lot of land. It still had the panel in the kitchen with all the bells to call servants.

His Mother who is now 81 treats every single person she meets with extreme good grace. It doesn’t matter who they are. The money as such is all gone though she was raised in a beautiful house . It was sold and the last time it was for sale she looked on rightmove, she cried very softly at how they had ripped out all the oak panelling and had removed the tennis court. She grew up with multiple staff as a child and as an adult had a FT housekeeper. The money was all lost during the recessions of the 1980’s and 1990’s and with a horrible messy divorce. I actually think her ex my now departed FIL punished her in a sort of reverse snobbery way. He was her downfall. Her cousin does live in an actual Manor House. She is not remotely wealthy in the least anymore.

@Mysmallgarden I think my MIL fits your take on things very well.

@Namecangeonce Yoanna's husband is very handsome! Mrs Alice on insta is also the very real deal!

Yes this! And they drink wine(red!) like its water!

UMC = All inclusive holiday in Turkey, Subaru Impreza, going to the races in a tight polyester suit and shades, tattoos on the neck, private school and ponies. 😀

This is a wind up…surely

when I was a kid I played it a girl so I would say was UMC, I was the only other child her age in a five mile radius. She only appeared during holidays because she was at boarding school the rest of the time. A very good boarding school.

She had ponies, her parents had horses, they employed a full time, live in groom. Her parents had a house in “town” as well. Town of course meant London, 200 miles away, not what I thought of as town ten miles away.

two labradors and a spaniel. Lots of shooting, hunting in the winter. Her mother organised the hunt balls.

the house was a Manor House , dating from the 1700s. No lake but there was a moat. And tennis courts. Her grandfather was a very senior MP.

I don’t know why this thread has popped up but it’s got me pondering.

My husband is clearly UMC based on this (I wouldn’t have said so before), grew up in the local Manor House, sailing every weekend on the family ‘boat’ which it turned out was a swanky yacht but they referred to it as a boat as though it was a rickety wooden rowing boat, which is how I pictured it for a long time. Speaks very well, stock ‘uniform’ is chinos, brightly coloured socks and deck shoes. Does all of this without thinking and wouldn’t know what to do with a pair of jeans. I suggested some jogging bottoms for lounging around at home once and he was genuinely bemused by the idea 🤣.

My parents absolutely working class, I would say I’m middle class. Private school, university degree.

No idea on our kids…private school, ponies, multiple holidays a year… middle class of some description I guess, but we only have one home so who knows.

In all seriousness I don’t think many people actually think of this any more (do they?!).

Barbour, Waitrose/John Lewis, broadsheets, not matching mugs, Emma Bridgewater, SUV, private school, whisky, champagne, cook frm scratch, Earl Grey, F and M
Men - chinos, good shirts
Women- pearls, good hair cut, not too much jewellery, no cosmetic surgery, no fake eye lashes or brows

You 'don't like playing the class game' OP? Of course you don't, that's why you've started this thread. If you've 'married up' with a clutch of labs thrown in then you have no need to ask. Put your green wellies on and take the dogs out to clear your head.