What does upper middle class look like?

[LabradorsLabradorsLabradors]

In conversation with an acquaintance (unrelated, but about the readership of the New Statesman magazine), I was just referred to as upper middle class. I'm not, by the way. Or at least not in the way I think of it. I was a lower middle class child who went to a smart school on an assisted place, did well academically, and married 'up' (I guess quite a long way up), having met DH through mutual friends. It just galls a bit, because I'm proud of my roots (Jewish refugees, tenant farmers, an early Labour MP), and want my kids to be too.

It was a pretty confident assertion, given she doesn't know much about me, and I'm wondering what made her think that. What does upper middle class look like?

I dunno I think it’s a general national past-time like the royal family and gardening.

I know upper high class is my family which is successful, mansion, country house, villas abroad, another house in the village as mansion. Friends and acquaintances who are presidents and never retiring as job isn’t overly stressful to need to retire. Several cars, children sent to boarding schools from 5. Childrens wedding presents are a house. So I’m guessing upper middle class is one down from that

JRM isn't upper class, he may sound like it. His father was a newspaper editor, his grandfather a lorry driver. He is an arriviste, an arrogant tosser who married someone with money and now acts like landed gentry. Phoney.

From experience having our children at a private school where we were definitely one of the less well off families, the biggest indicator for UMC is that they are not ‘new’ money. Most will have inherited a family business or will follow on from a long trail of lawyers, politicians etc where it is often not what you know but who you know. Typically there will be multiple homes, numerous holidays each year (one of which will undoubtedly be skiing), a mix of battered old land rovers and top of the range sports cars, interests in sports like golf/equestrian/sailing, and a very extensive social calendar with plenty of booze. Bright coloured chinos and tweed jackets for the men!

Anyone who asks what MC, UMC or U looks like is definitely not in the running to find out;)

I predict at least 20 of these threads per week on here, such feverish desperation to to hide one's working class roots and shuffle upwards on the class ladder.

No one in the real world cares about this shit, seriously.

It does open the floodgates for other dissatisfied WC posters to flaunt their fantasy 6 figure salaries and lucky lucky lucky privately schooled children, however, and they're truly fun to read, so yes, in true MN spirit....spill the beans ladies! I am sure you are all so busy in your professional 700000K jobs but still have 5 mins to spare telling us how wealthy you are on Mumsnet!

Groak on.

I always giggle at the memory of Madonna & Guy Ritchie's marriage... She changed overnight into her interpretation of UMC... Country house, tweed, barbour, horse riding, shooting it was hilarious especially for an American pop star🙈

who the fuck goes online to mention they privately school their children yet has time to spend answering every single one of these tragic posts?

Every one of these posts is predictable. Haven't any of you been here before, lol?

So once you've decided which class category you are in, what next, what is it for?

On a lot of Mumsnet class threads you get 'old money is battered Land Rover and clothes that smell of dog'.

What they have missed is that if you are in that world the battered Land Rover is just one of the cars, the clothes that smell of dog are designer, there are multiple homes and when they are in London they don't smell of dog.

Kate's mother is from a working class background. Her father is upper middle class I would say.

Wonder what would happen to them in the revolution?

The big question is, are the Labradors themselves upper middle class? My guess is not, as I've never met a Labrador I didn't like.

Not true. There are many others that are actually more obsessed than the UK. Only ones I know are ex colonies though. India for instance. Caste system still very much a part of life. Although in the last 20 years or so there has been the addition of 'the milky layer'. People born in a lower caste who have had opportunity to reach education/careers usually reserved for higher castes thanks to government initiatives.

Kate's father is very much UMC - he had family trust funds which paid for all the public school educations.
Her mother is not and there were many stories of Will's circle being rude about it.

My DM used to work for minor aristocracy in the same village and it is a major UMC country house hangout.

Aristocracy know who they are.

UMC often mix with the aristocracy but are never part of it. They go to 'public' not just private schools. As PP have said - big holidays, boats, horses, staff, multiple homes, playing at having 'work'.

MMC are striving, often to the point of scrimping and saving to afford good private schools or horses/boats. Real employment or business. One or two holidays, sometimes a modest second home but not always, hired help like cleaners and gardeners but not 'staff'.

LMC are trying really hard not to be working class, correct their state-educated children's grammar and accent and manners, worry about who the children have as friends.

UWC are nowadays university educated, have mortgages, may be very wealthy, but just don't have the background /accent / mannerisms of the MC. This is the vast majority of the population.

LWC probably know some friends on long-term unemployment benefits and may know someone in prison for petty crimes.

Pop stars and self-made millionaires hover outside the system, but never lose their original class status.

My DD has 'the voice' - think Hermione cross with a Royal
No idea where it came from though - dad has a strong Irish accent and I am Thames estuary !

Public school, big country house, older expensive cars/landrovers, 'upper' professional jobs, like doctors, lawyers and bankers, family history of being university-educated and holding those sort of professions going back generations.

Would say my family were upper working class/lower middle class.. Both parents were admin and middle management in civil service, but neither went to university and although my father went to a grammar school, still left school at 16.

DH's family probably upper working class...

But we both went to grammar school and were first in family to go to university, now both middle management in HEIs, own home in a village in the SE, so would say we've probably solidified/slightly increased our position as lower middle class... Maybe middle middle at a push 😁

Goodness I hope that post is satirical as it comes across as very patronising. Those poor LWC having to live amongst criminals or even know one. Thank goodness it is only petty crime. What about the terrible accents that the LMC children picked up in their rat infested state secondary school. I hope there are enough elocution coaches to help them deal with such a brutal disadvantage.

It’s also twaddle to be fair.

Epic fail in my grand scheme - I left out the Upper Class.
I would guess that they are basically the same as the aristocracy, (richer than the UMC), but the difference would be how close was your nearest blood relative with an inherited title.

As for whether this is satire - I will leave you to decide ...

What I think is actually more important than class- is how you treat people.

I know some titled people who treat every single person they meet in exactly the same way- friendly & polite.

I know other people with pretensions who are only friendly and polite to people who they perceive to be 'important'. And they're shitty to people who they think are below them.

That includes your own predictable post. 🤔

India’s caste system is more insane.

Umc- posh but no title
Mc- my mate's mum😄 had a profession, whereas our mums gave up work cos childcare was too expensive, then had any job they could fit until we got to high school. Holidayed in the south of France, when no one else really went abroad. Lived up the hill and had a conservatory with a piano.

Class is more a state of mind and a sense of where you belong, than the money you actually have.

I am from wc (neither parent in school after 15) roots. But they did own encyclopedia, and other books, which i read recently makes them mc.i went to uni. Became a teacher. Married a non professional. Are my kids mc or wc then?

Of those that I’ve encountered… mainly female. Ridiculously thin, no boobs, expensive clothes but not branded or in any way obviously designer, often blonde (excellently done highlights) often with a partner in finance that they play down if they run in more liberal or artistic circles ‘oh he does something reaaaaally boring in finance’, a boarding school education (again played down), a certain high energy enthusiastic personality style when it comes to dealing with other people, yet never quite feels 100% genuine, certain subtle in-circle social/cultural references made when coming across another one of the tribe in daily life to secretly assess who is one of them. All of this has quite an effect on making women who aren’t like them feel strangely inferior and desire to be like them and want their friendship or approval, but not be entirely sure why. And once you start to notice them, you can’t stop seeing them in certain industries. The media (in the broadest sense, film, tv etc) for one is full of them.

I don't really like playing the class game at all. I just feel bothered that I obviously fit some stereotype that I don't think is me at all

Don’t worry love, you don’t sound UMC to me. 🤷‍♀️