What does upper middle class look like?

[LabradorsLabradorsLabradors]

In conversation with an acquaintance (unrelated, but about the readership of the New Statesman magazine), I was just referred to as upper middle class. I'm not, by the way. Or at least not in the way I think of it. I was a lower middle class child who went to a smart school on an assisted place, did well academically, and married 'up' (I guess quite a long way up), having met DH through mutual friends. It just galls a bit, because I'm proud of my roots (Jewish refugees, tenant farmers, an early Labour MP), and want my kids to be too.

It was a pretty confident assertion, given she doesn't know much about me, and I'm wondering what made her think that. What does upper middle class look like?

I would say a friend who’s family own a supermarket chain is upper middle class, husbands family who are large scale property developers where his sister has never worked but is provided for by her family, friends who own estates and are ‘farmers’ but don’t do much of the farming and aren’t titled.

Although your definition of working class would be much more appropriate, that's not correct.

Interesting someone raised boarding schools as an indicator. This has been the first bone of contention between MIL and us. MIL is keen for our children to attend boarding schools (the ones DH and his brothers went to). Both attend local day independent schools (and DS went to the local primary school, which he absolutely loved) and will absolutely not be boarding (and have no wish to). She often mentions friends DGC who are at this or that boarding school, but I think by now she knows the conversation is going nowhere. None of our close friends' children board either, although most (not by any means all) attend independent schools.

😂

Not all private schools are the same.

There is a big difference between a hyperselective day school selling itself on results - likely to have a diverse intake of middle class/working class kids of all ethnicities + lots of scholarships and parents who are sacrificing everything to send them there, the posh day school with middling results, and boarding.

If you didn't go to private school you may think private school=private school. While if you did, you can probably do a detailed rundown of poshness for your local county schools and have a fair stab at any unfamiliar school.

As a (UMC) child/teen, I used to think UMC was aspirational.

Now I just think it's a bit morally and environmentally dodgy to have a lot more wealth than the median. Bring on Finland-style ban on private education, and raise standards for all !

Those of my friends I'd describe as UMC certainly don't work for a living earning high salaries ( that is a bit common) they occupy themselves as part time artists, doing odd bits for the family business or are SAHM. The money comes mainly from inheritance. They don't care too much about being bang up to date with either their houses or clothes but everything is very good quality. House is usually inherited or the money for it was, large detached and in a nice area. Having a certain sort of grandparent is a help. One of my UMC friends is a bishops grand daughter, another had a granny that lived in a castle.

So by your own admission you sound "posh" and have labradors...Yet you are on here asking what makes you so obviously "upper middle class". We should all feel free to post what we like, but come on now. What are you really after? Having gone to private schools and married "up" you sure as hell know what "gives it away". So what do you REALLY want with this thread. Let's start there...

Degree educated and professional job
Connections to people of influence
Lots of cultural capital, going to theatre, opera and art galleries etc
Own their home, most likely a period properly
Children in private education
A second home either in U.K. or abroad

@Mango101 this is a social media rumour. There is no truth in it and there are most certainly private schools in Finland.

Your old Nanny now cares for your children. You call the evening meal……..supper.

To me it would be living in London in a red brick, kids in private schools nearby then piling the cocker spaniels & the kids into the car for weekends down in the country pile (always home counties).
Friends with minor aristocrats. Holidays are seasonal, usually France in summer, skiing in Austria or France in winter... (Switzerland if very umc)

Working for fun but not need

Significant investments

Multiple holidays and homes

Swimming pool and tennis court

Country sports

Staff

Friends with a variety of people in powerful or successful roles and or minor gentry.

Antiques and paintings rather than shop bought

But more than this, things that can't be bought, so access to social events and clubs that are via connections, knowing all the major families in the area and socialising with them, always someone you know or who knows someone you know, a confidence that comes with knowing who you are and where you stand

My mother speaks Received Pronunciation (50s BBC accent), lives in Bloomsbury, has multiple properties, buys art and antiques and has lots of well known / well to do friends. We were educated in privately schools but are much more ordinarily middle class (teachers, nurses etc).

She is also political /left wing with very liberal beliefs. She had her friends consider themselves as ‘Liberal Elites’ 🤣🤣🫣 .

Me and my siblings roll our eyes!

Ah, yes, the MPS Minor Public School.

Apparently signified by the type of racket sports that they play (so says my UMC husband but he's wrong about many things)

This is dh and I and we are most definitely not UMC - not even MC - we only have to open our mouths for you to realise that 😂
So if I had elocution lessons and got a couple of labs I could maybe pass?

You see to me, anyone coming from a political and farming background is in no way 'lower middle class'.

Lower middle class = live in a mortgaged small terrace on a skilled labour or public sector salary. Respectable but poor.

AnnaMagnani
Not all private schools are the same.

Quite

There are public schools and there are public schools and there is rampant snobbery at play even within the independent sector. Most public schools are institutions that nobody has heard of that offer small well behaved classes with a few nice to have bolt on extras (outdoor pursuits etc). They do not 'open doors' to plumb jobs due to your old school tie and are lumped with the comps as objects of mockery by the like who attend Harrow, Eton, Marlborough, Shrewsbury, Charterhouse etc

To me the youngish UMC types I meet rarely have 9 -5 jobs, not even well paying ones, they all run start up companies in very niche fields, gin distillery, ethical fashion, organic pop up dirty burger and rare vinyl joint in Hoxton etc. It's questionable as to whether any of these ventures actually make any money at all but it is not a big deal as the moment they get bored or the business fails Mummy & Daddy will bung them some seed capital to start up their next bright idea of a Pug dog online dating agency or yet another 'events' company that only their friends use. While they are pleasant enough people they are utterly divorced from the hardship that most people face and think they are doing their bit by donating to the Peruvian Lama sanctuary that friends Hugo and Octavia run on their estate in Suffolk

Upper middle class to me would be people like Benedict Cumberbatch or maybe Kate Middleton. Public school (rather than just private), large manor/Georgian style house with very large garden and possibly a large featured spread in 25 Beautiful Homes magazine.

No they are not.

When they came to Cowes week none of the yacht clubs would not allow them to film on their various sites and were horrified at being asked and so they had to film in the Yacht Haven with the rest of the general public.

(So I am told by my UMC SIL )

I can't say I've given it much thought but I would assume the UMC have enough money in investments to not have to work.

I work for a couple who own multiple million pound plus properties, both university educated, go for 6 week holidays and have very nice cars. It's all debt, they are always juggling money from one account to another to keep the bills paid. God know who they are keeping up the pretence for but it would be too stressful for me.

There's a double negative in there but hopefully it made sense.

@8fttrampoline

Which country do you live in?

Do you own a moat?

Spot on!!
I’m a Labrador, horse and home owner. Went to uni, Don’t have money worries, go on Lots of holidays….. But I am firmly working class from a working class background! The shite on MN about class is utterly ridiculous