What does upper middle class look like?

[LabradorsLabradorsLabradors]

In conversation with an acquaintance (unrelated, but about the readership of the New Statesman magazine), I was just referred to as upper middle class. I'm not, by the way. Or at least not in the way I think of it. I was a lower middle class child who went to a smart school on an assisted place, did well academically, and married 'up' (I guess quite a long way up), having met DH through mutual friends. It just galls a bit, because I'm proud of my roots (Jewish refugees, tenant farmers, an early Labour MP), and want my kids to be too.

It was a pretty confident assertion, given she doesn't know much about me, and I'm wondering what made her think that. What does upper middle class look like?

Yes, agree with poster above. Nothing to do with money or number of dogs at all. It’s more about titles, most I know don’t have any money at all!!

This 100 %... Even from primary age they know their own "tribe". Hard to miss my mom always talks about "rich girl hair", long, usually very long, extra thick & wavy, usually blonde or deep brown... Permanent light sun-kissed light tan.... Always very thin & athletic build... Kids are mini mes of parents.. Preppy looking...

Upper middle class

Privately schooled preferably with a university degree. Bonus points if it’s a hobby degree like fine arts, literature, history, philosophy etc. Parents also schooled the same.
Owns a grand home debt free with at least another couple of million in net assets
Having a second home to vacation in (or a London flat) bonus points if it’s inherited or kept in the family trust
Multiple overseas holidays a year
Children all in private school
Furniture is mostly inherited or if not it is quality solid wood
Has fine art or vintage pieces in the home
Club memberships eg tennis, country etc
Some aristocratic lineage from either parent

it's all on a spectrum from working to upper middle class with som efuzziness between the boundaries.

she sees you as upper as that is how dh is and this is your new lifestyle. or she sees you as upper because she sees herself as middle class and you have more priviledge than her... I think proper umc are not embarrassed about being seen as that. a lot of the rest of us want to be seen as getting where we are by merit and hard work not priviledge. I come from a working class family, who managed middle class appearing lifestyle for a bit, but I am now firmly back down in working class area. disability makes us more difficult to place class wise. anywhere from benefit scrounger (carer's allowance) to lower middle class.

Forgot to add multiple paid staff (gardener, housekeeper , nanny , driver if appropriate etc)

Wealthy ( stocks shares investments )
Private schooled children.
Trusts funds.
House in the country.
Titled people in the family.
Members of 'Clubs' and liveries in London.
Skiing,sailing,diving,riding at high level.
Private health care.
Hobby jobs.
Lots of charity giving.
Inherited furniture.
Socialising at the right events with the right people.
Children's godparents will help them out though life.
Well travelled.
Dont care what others think in a nothing to prove way
And they have lurchers and other rescue dogs!

Bonus points if it’s a hobby degree like fine arts, literature, history, philosophy etc

I can't speak for fine arts, but you do know that literature, history and philosophy aren't "hobby degrees", right?

I don't know where this came from, I saw English listed as a 'Mickey mouse' degree recently which is fundamentally incorrect.

Each of the three I've mentioned are traditional academic degrees and academically rigourous, instructing students in critical thinking and objectivity amongst many other things. These are skills that are crucial in every career (although sometimes can be easily undervalued by short-sighted and defensive management). People with these skills are highly sought after in the upper echelons of business - just as much as those who've studied a STEM subject.

Practically speaking, they prepare students for a variety of careers and are invaluable in the job market. For those graduates who end up in a career which doesn't seem to be directly related to their degree, it ensures that crucial skills end up in industries such as those based in technology.

We're currently experiencing a dearth of these skills as it is; I see lots of posts here and on other SM bemoaning that people don't hold the elite and Politicians to account enough. Well, these are the degrees where people learn the skills to do so.

A mickey mouse degree is something like Basketball Science or Artemis Fowl Textual Studies. Even Media Studies and Business Administration.

I'm derailing the thread a bit, but this is important because devaluing degrees of serious academic rigour will to lead to big problems within society and mean that the only people who have access to them are those of the so-called UMC and above. We shouldn't - no, we mustn't - sacrifice these degrees purely for STEM subjects, for which there's been a push because of a lack of uptake made for a depleted candidate pool and has in part led to this attitude I'm criticising.

People think we have a problem with out of touch politicians and elitism now...Just wait.

Vent over, apologies :)

I would think very few people are UMC. It’s inter generational wealth. I know a few (and am most definitely not one myself) and they tend to marry each other in the main.

@007DoubleOSeven you just did it yourself though. Nothing wrong with a Business degree.

Multiple ‘gifted Labradors and THE voice?
How dare your friend accuse you of being upper middle class! How very dare she!

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Are you going to drop any other stereotypes in? Caviar for breakfast?

By starting this thread you have shown that you are in no way upper or middle class. You are a wannabe pretending that you are aghast at the thought.

Have a pims and a nap, you will feel much better in the morning.

Marina Fogle (Ben's wife) is the epitome of UMC.. Her instagram is horsey heaven, blonde sporty children taking after their beautiful parents, huge country pile, ski trips & posh accents. Well connected. Don't know if their kids attend a private school but I love her instagram.

Actually no I didn't.
It's not my opinion about media studies and business degrees, in fact that latter especially has become well established now.

I would say they look like the type of people who would not be asking that question in the first place...

@Ofnoteandnightmares Your description is spot on! Nearly all the UMC women I know tick a lot of those boxes.

And yes to the ‘hobby jobs’. All the women seem to have a vaguely creative business (quietly funded by husband’s boring financial, and probably highly unethical, job). Their businesses are jewellery, fashion, or homeware related, and very Instagram friendly.

Plus these hobby jobs seem to take place in some weird closed economy. So Alice will sell Emily some overpriced jewellery, Emily will sell Nancy an overpriced handbag, and Nancy will sell Alice an overpriced candle. Nice work if you can get it I suppose!

Though I do feel there is A LOT of pressure on this type of woman to stay thin as they age, The ones I know are forty something now and there seems to be an unsaid expectation that despite a few kids and advancing years you must maintain a size 8. Which lets face it is not natural for the vast majority of 45 yr old mums.

How I loathe the class obsessed mindset of the island I was born & live on.

Agreed @BuenaVistaAntisocialClub And I think it’s really important to recognise them and the hidden power of those social circles. Because a lot of people see ‘oh she started that successful business from nothing’ or the idea that these people got to where they are in certain industries on talent alone, and that talent is paying for the super high end lifestyle they then display as normal and achievable, even when you know the wage doesn’t equate. And if you can’t get there you feel like you’ve failed, not realising they started at a 9 on the ladder while you started at 2. Yet with just a little bit digging you can find inherited generational wealth, daddy or husband in finance, family companies listed in the Paradise papers, social connections to titles, all while they preach a super liberal and fashionable tune. Personally I prefer those who are unabashedly privileged and don’t bother to disguise it because I know what I’m dealing with. It’s the ones who hide it under layers of ‘god I hate the Tories and love Starmer’ whilst retreating at the weekend to their Grade II listed Manor House that they grew up in that are the real headfuck.

And I think it’s really important to recognise them and the hidden power of those social circles

Agreed, and this is why it is actually important to talk about class. It matters.

I would probably describe you as squarely middle class, given that you have experienced upward mobility from a more working class position.
In my view Upper Middle Class is only those people born into the Upper Middle Class.
I don't believe you can personally skip TWO class categories, but your children may be fairly described as UMC

It's not just about money, it's about education, culture, outlook, expectations

Good university degree
Professional job
Private school- although not necessary
Sports gear
Sporty hobbies
Rugby over football
John lewis, boden, Emma bridgewater, le creuset
Read quality literature
Foreign films
Classy holidays
Family leisure activities
Classy clothes
Waitrose and Marks and Spencer
Barbour
Quality china

Horses, and sporting holidays such as skiing and polo. The right schools, the proper voice, and a home with inherited furniture and ancestral portraits on the walls. Money isn't the issue, you can be upper middle class and have very little of it, as long as you remain polite to everyone you meet and can do small talk for hours on end.

Don't agree on the new car thing at all. Lots of upper middle class types driving around in bartered old Volvos or land rovers with four scruffy Labradors in the back. In fact I've noticed how the upper middle classes often have a shabby chic look.

Check out Yoanna Hanbury (wife of gorgeous polo player Charlie Hanbury) & Mrs Alicen(Alice Naylor Leyland) on insta if you want to see how the upper class live. Gorgeous kids too..

Yes. Agree - horses and skiing, politeness to all.

The UKs facination with class is a bit bonkers. It's a social construct that I just don't but into.

I also believe my Labradors to be particularly fine specimens of the breed, and quite possibly gifted.

This made me laugh 😂