“Mum, please tell the truth. Is Santa real?” What do I say!?

[Tweeeezer]

8 year old asked me before bed: “Mum, can I ask you a question? But can you please tell me the truth?”
I replied, “Of course,”
He said. “Is Santa real?”
His younger sibling was in the bottom bunk and listening so I said, “Do you want Santa to be real?” (Avoiding the question).
And he said “Yes, but I don’t think he is.”
His younger sibling started talking about how if Santa sees you, you don’t get any presents so was a bit oblivious (also no idea where he got that story from!).
I said, “Can we talk about this together later? Just you and me?” And looked pointedly at the bottom bunk. He agreed and started talking about Lego.

Do I wait for him to ask again? And, more importantly, I have to tell the truth, right?! But I’m so sad that the magic of Christmas will be gone for him!

Yes he’s asking for the truth so you have to be honest. But you can tell him he now gets to be part of the magic of bringing Father Christmas alive for his sibling.

(and make sure he knows to keep his newfound knowledge to himself at school!)

I think I'd bring it up and tell the truth. But he has to keep it going for little brother.

I think it's normal to sus it out by 8/9 (although MN would make you think kids believe right through primary school). Playing along has been a big thing in my house. Big age gap and I don't want it spoilt for the LO.
So big brother happily went to see Santa at 10, and I'm sure Santa knew he was just playing along.

Id be abit worried if they hadn’t twigged by 8/9. I mean how long do you want to keep that one goung?! I’d worry they were a little dim if they genuinely believed at 9/10.

Mine copped on at that age.

I could never look my child in the eye and lie to a question like that. I always answered honestly, but then we keep it going as a fun little game/joke/bit of magic from then on. Nobody cried and no Christmases were ruined.

Yes I think you should tell him. Good to do it now rather than closer to Christmas.

That's a bit harsh. My eldest was 11 when she realised the truth (I can still remember the look on her face) she wasn't dim, just innocent.

I told DD that the spirit of santa was real and that it was about surprising people you live with with gifts and once you worked it out you got to 'be santa'. So DD is now incharge of putting our the mince pies and carrots and sneakily takes a bit of each when I'm not looking which is daft but she likes it. She's an only but if I had others I'd let her stay up and help wrap a couple of gifts to go in siblings stockings

I kept it going as long as possible, but if asked directly I told the truth. 8/9 is about right.

Don't be nasty ,it's just unnecessary.

If your child asks you to tell the truth then you must tell the truth. I expect he has worked it out now anyway.

This is nasty and also so what if some kids are a little dim? Why would that make you worry?

8 is the usual age op
they work it out
their friends in school let it slip
be truthful

he will keep the magic alive, for his brother and for the presents

He knows anyway OP, he’s just trusting you to confirm it.

I would worry if my 10 year old genuinely believed. If they believe that what else would they believe?! I’d also think the primary school hadn’t done a great job in teaching critical thinking / science.

I knew it wasn't true at 4. I was very streetwise and realised very early on that there was no Santa for poor kids.

I was relieved to be honest. I was quite an anxious child and the lack of a chimney meant that he was coming in the front door. I hated the idea.

Meh, my eldest is 9 and still hasn't had 'the chat' about Santa. He is autistic though. My youngest is 7. Ive no doubt other kids have told my kids or they've probably worked it out for themselves. But as long as they keep getting presents, they aren't going to question a good thing.

Ds14 has known for about 3 years but he Humors me and for his sisters sake. She’s 9. I love they still believe but I’ve always said if they ask me outright, I won’t lie. I think it’s good to believe in it, especially in this day and age, it gives kids something to look forward to.

My 12 yr old DC both still believe though I think DD might be starting to doubt. They're both autistic, DS with reasonably high needs (although academically he's quite bright).

About a year ago we switched to home education for a multitude of reasons. one of the unintentional benefits is that I don't have to worry about them being teased at school for still believing. DS was at special school so he probs would have been OK but DD would have been absolutely crucified.

They still believe in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy too. It's really sweet and they're happy so I don't see any need to tell them the truth just yet.

I say when they ask tell them the truth. I think in Year 2 they start to wonder and question, Year 3 they suss it out. From my experience (used to be a teacher) those that believe after 8-9 have been "duped" by their parents, ie parents keep the lie going. I think parents do this as it means, in some way, a loss of innocence.

My DD recently declared Santa isn't real - she's only 6.

We got her a personalised Santa video from
here but she still doesn't seem convinced.

www.portablenorthpole.com/santa-video

It's sad isn't it? I thought we had at least 2 more years.

If she asks outright at Christmas we will tell her the truth.

If it's any consolation, my dd was absolutely delighted on being told the truth to take on the parental role of actively perpetuating the myth for her younger siblings.

Tell him the story of St Nickolas and how that evolved into Santa Claus.