“Mum, please tell the truth. Is Santa real?” What do I say!?

[Tweeeezer]

8 year old asked me before bed: “Mum, can I ask you a question? But can you please tell me the truth?”
I replied, “Of course,”
He said. “Is Santa real?”
His younger sibling was in the bottom bunk and listening so I said, “Do you want Santa to be real?” (Avoiding the question).
And he said “Yes, but I don’t think he is.”
His younger sibling started talking about how if Santa sees you, you don’t get any presents so was a bit oblivious (also no idea where he got that story from!).
I said, “Can we talk about this together later? Just you and me?” And looked pointedly at the bottom bunk. He agreed and started talking about Lego.

Do I wait for him to ask again? And, more importantly, I have to tell the truth, right?! But I’m so sad that the magic of Christmas will be gone for him!

My dad told me santa was real but when we get older santa asks the parents to step in so he could look after the younger children.🤣 my parents always had Santa's presents sitting out and unwrapped and their presents wrapped so we knew mum and dad bought things not just santa and I done that with my child x

I told DS when he was 11 (he didn't ask!!) He is academically intelligent but very innocent and gullible about lots of things, not just Santa.

As long as I live I’ll never understand the different paper thing. There was a post just before Christmas and I couldn’t believe the comments telling the OP to re wrap all the children’s gifts because her mum commented that she’d used…brace yourself….the same paper. Talk about creating more work for yourself.

Some of the replies on here shock me 😳 god help the kids lol

As long as I live I’ll never understand the different paper thing. There was a post just before Christmas and I couldn’t believe the comments telling the OP to re wrap all the children’s gifts because her mum commented that she’d used…brace yourself….the same paper. Talk about creating more work for yourself.

I used different paper because it was one of the things I picked up on when I was a kid. Wrapping presents is a faff anyway regardless of what paper you're using, it's only extra work if you had to unwrap and rewrap?

When we were kids our presents from 'Santa' always came wrapped in a bit of cloth ... and we were told it was because there are no trees at the North pole to make paper with. Not sure I ever quite believed that, but it did make the cloth wrapped presents seem even more exciting. And even now, at 61, I still have a particularly lovely peice of 'Santa cloth' at the bottom of my sewing basket. 🤗

Yes, you have to tell him. Him trusting you to tell the truth is more important. He can make it a fun game ‘believing’ for his younger sibling.

I got away with it till 10, and she didn’t ask (I think she overheard) until 11. I’d fudged a bit before then, through. I admit to cowardice. She’s a very blamey child, and I was not looking forward to the back-lash. There was a fair bit of stropping (she was angry at being deceived) but on the whole things are better. She was always SO anxious that Santa wouldn’t come and is a terrible sleeper anyway, so the actual process of being Santa was horribly stressful and meant I often went to bed at four or five am on Christmas morning. I’m glad it’s behind us. She’s happier now she knows. I suppose she knew it was illogical and didn’t trust it. Damned children their source critiquing abilities!

Mrs t swift
A little dim.

Very unsettling /unpleasant comment, for many reasons. Also short sighted.

I feel sorry for you Mrs.

But surprising when we still live in a society that has religon woven into the fabric of everyday life?

Yeah, children are observant, have memories we’ve forgotten we ever had and this is important to then. They’re paying attention. A child I knew noticed that his presents from his parents were wrapped the paper Santa had used last year. Jeez, I. can’t remember where my keys are, and a kid knows what paper things were in last year?? Man!

Jeez some of these posts. Lying to children, precursor to religion, setting kids up to believe it’s ok to let strange men in at night…. My god, chill out and stop being ridiculous. Or are you saying that these ‘dim, gullible’ children will also expect rabbits in a field to produce chocolate eggs for them on a whim?
I realised fairly ‘late’, I was pretty gutted, but wasn’t angry at my parents for lying, I was just a bit sad that some of the magic and fun was gone. Because it had been so lovely. So that’s why I do the same for my kids.

But if you use the same paper and the child asks about it surely you can just say, "oh yes, they must sell the same paper at the North Pole that they do in Sainsbury's".

Why does it have to be such a rigmarole?

My son asked me this at 10, and I gently told him no, at this point we also spoke at the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy (I'm sure he knew anyway).

I told him if you still 'believe' Santa will still bring you present, and he still does - only something silly, and every Christmas morning he shouts 'thanks Santa' it's easier now as I have a DD 3 to keep the magic going.

He was very confused though and asked 'if Santa isn't real, how did I get all those presents?' It took a while for the penny to drop, and when he realised it was me the look on his face was priceless!

I used different paper for the santa presents. Hardly difficult. Each child had different paper so it was easy to remember whose sack to put it in.

the SmallDragons and I laugh about how they never twigged that the boot of the car held much less luggage when going to grandparents at Christmas than it did at other times. I used to sent them round the block to "walk the dog" whilst I loaded the car with presents then luggage on top. They never had to walk the dog for any other journey.

Santa is real because he is everywhere. Anyone who has ever given a Christmas present is Santa. We carry his love in our hearts and pass it on from generation to generation.

My adult DC still hang their stockings up if they stay at my house on Xmas Eve. My dd leaves out a bar of white chocolate and a can of cider too. When she was small I told her Santa gets fed up with with mince pies (as I don't like them) so she asked what she should give Santa so I said white chocolate which is my favourite and DH said and can of cider which he likes. She has never forgotten. Tell your son the truth that if you leave your stocking up on Xmas Eve he will get presents. I told my children Santa means the giving.

This is also lovely. Your DC can both believe and not believe. Like watching and being moved by a favourite film.

I'd say the more important question is whether Belsnickel is real.

Yes of course you tell the truth.

I'm so pleased we didn't do all this FC is real nonsense.

I only have one but he asked me this at the same age. I think kids had been talking about it at school and it had shaken him up a little. I asked him what he thought, he said he thought Santa is real. I said that was all that mattered.
The way I see it is that the magic is real for as long as they want it to be. No need to lie, just let them decide.

I overhead DS and a friend asking Alexa if Santa was real a few months later. Alexa was having none of it and totally fobbed them off!

What an absolutely lovely post in these troubling times.

Did I say it mattered? I said I struggle to believe it. A lot of mumsnetters seem to know kids who believe in Santa Claus up until secondary but I think it’s really unlikely that they actually do. A NT child of 11/12 is unlikely to fully believe Santa is teal - they should have the logic/comprehension skills to understand that obviously he isn’t.

I told DD that the spirit of santa was real and that it was about surprising people you live with with gifts and once you worked it out you got to 'be santa'.

I agree with this. Santa is based off a real person, St Nicholas and is real in the sense that he's the spirit of giving gifts to loved ones. So once a child is old enough to ask I would tell them this and aren't they clever and grown up so guess what? They now get to be involved in the excitement of choosing gifts and surprising loved ones.... lucky them.

why not just say you're glad you didn't do FC. Why add a snide insult in there too?

Because it is nonsense to insist he's real and if you do you're missing the whole point of Christmas. Do you insist Cinderella is real or sleeping Beauty,no of course you don't?

Well considering none of the rest of the world does, that would be weird.