“Mum, please tell the truth. Is Santa real?” What do I say!?

[Tweeeezer]

8 year old asked me before bed: “Mum, can I ask you a question? But can you please tell me the truth?”
I replied, “Of course,”
He said. “Is Santa real?”
His younger sibling was in the bottom bunk and listening so I said, “Do you want Santa to be real?” (Avoiding the question).
And he said “Yes, but I don’t think he is.”
His younger sibling started talking about how if Santa sees you, you don’t get any presents so was a bit oblivious (also no idea where he got that story from!).
I said, “Can we talk about this together later? Just you and me?” And looked pointedly at the bottom bunk. He agreed and started talking about Lego.

Do I wait for him to ask again? And, more importantly, I have to tell the truth, right?! But I’m so sad that the magic of Christmas will be gone for him!

My 9 year old knows the truth now, I got a bit sad about it tbh.

I told her that, although there is no jolly fat man in a red suit delivering presents, Santa is very real. Santa is the spirit of Christmas that brings joy and happiness all over the world. Everytime someone decorates their home to make people smile, that's the spirit of Santa spreading happiness. Etc

She seemed happy with that.

Because kids like to believe in a bit of magic ,and they get so excited and it's for such a short time in their lives ,of you don't want to do that for your kids then don't, but many kids love it .

Seriously what is the point of Santa?

it's a bit of fun.

it's not a "precursor to religious belief" either. For a start, Santa provided immediate and tangible rewards and secondly, the belief is only a short period of time before they discover it's not true. You could argue that it is pretty good at debunking the "blind faith" aspect of region.

So no grandchild ever talks about Santa with their grandparents? If you were watching your grandchildren and they asked the question what would you answer? I’m sorry, I’m not authorised to discuss this topic!
I’m not saying I’m going to say anything just that if you think about it the majority of parents lie if they feel it’s too soon for the mystery to end. I’m not suggesting that I’m going to go around telling children it’s all a lie.

I think that, once a child asks, it's time to tell them the truth. If there are younger siblings, they get to be part of the secret instead.

Yes you just treat it like religion. You simply say (like God) some people believe in Santa.
You say that you've never actually seen any evidence for the existence of santa, but you love the idea of Santa embodying the spirit of Christmas - so you've gone along with the idea and said presents you've bought have come from Santa, because it makes Christmas more fun and magical.
It's kind of a little make believe story that everyone goes along with at Christmas.

I’d think someone was a bit dim if they considered belief in Santa in as an 8/9 year old was a reliable measure of intelligence.

This is going to sound awful but you had to know my DD to appreciate it. She was about 8 or 9 and we were doing the weekly shop together one Saturday morning. She suddenly turned to me in Asda and said "mum, is there really a Santa?" I looked at her a moment and said "do you want the truth?" DD said yes, she wanted to know. I just replied "no, he's not real, he's made up". "Oh, ok, I thought so", was her response and we carried on selecting groceries. She's still a very matter of fact type of girl now she's 21 and likes it in black and white, bless her.

I wouldn't bring it up, but if he asks for the truth, then yes you have to tell him. I did when DS asked. I tried to avoid the question, but I knew when he asked for the truth it'd be wrong to outright lie to him. He was sad and so was I, but it's a part of growing up. Finding out about Santa does extinguish some of the magic of Christmas I think.

Special times like Christmas have stories attached to them that tell us about who we are and who we want to be. The name Santa Claus means St Nicholas nd St Nicholas was a real person many hundreds of years ago who helped people to understand the joy of giving generously to other people in secret, without telling the person who gets the presents who the present is from, so not expecting any thanks or return but just giving for the sake of being generous. Although St Nicholas died a long time ago, that spirit of unselfish generosity is very real. Just because there's not a single magic man but instead lots and lots of different generous people doesn't make Santa not real, it nake Santa even more real. When you are mature enough to find that spirit of generosity in yourself then you yourself will be Santa, and that will be very real.

Of course you tell him ... and don't get sucked into the idea that the 'magic' of Christmas is just about believing in Santa. As others have said learning to appreciate who actually gives the gifts is important.

“Some people think Santa is real but some people think it’s a nice story that makes Christmas more fun.”

kids can choose to keep playing along but have been given truthful answer and/or choose to join in the story making for younger sibling. Mine did a mixture.

@Tweeeezer i also told the story of St Nick, I had a lovely Childrens book explaining the story which helped the transition and explained the tradition.

I just think it's wrong on so many levels to lie to your children about anything really . What you are teaching them is that it's fine to lie and deceive. Simple as that. It's time the whole Santa thing was dropped in this day and age. Tell them the truth.

I told the truth to this question and it was terrible.

I backtracked hugely and now my DD and I have an understanding that we both know I'm lying but we pretend I'm not 🤔She's 10 but was same age as yours when it happened.

The point of Santa is that he is one of the central figures (JC being the other) in a festival of hope and joy in mid winter bringing happiness to many children and some adults (myself included) across the world, with a message of being kind to family and friends.

There has always been a winter solstice festival since pagan times from which many of the Christmas traditions originate (holly, fir trees) and even Santa who was originally a small elf dressed in green. I think it is wonderful that today we have still retained tenets of the original solstice festival many thousands of years later.

Yes there is the argument that it has become over commercialised and puts pressure on people unable to afford much. But this is the fault of the way people choose to celebrate it rather than the event itself or the fault of Santa. I am thinking of those parents that create a mountain of presents for their children, giving them present fatigue and then posting it on social media.

Finally some may say Santa is all make believe but imo no more so than any of the religions worldwide that also being happiness and hope to millions across the world.

I get you want reality and truth but quite frankly I think we all need a moment of hope, "unreality" and celebration with loved ones with the economic shit storm that is currently hitting us which is set to only get a lot worse, world instability with risk of nuclear war, UK political instability, a divided nation etc etc

I’m a horrible parent because I never told my son he wasn’t real even when he asked me outright at that age. My stick answer was something like this…

I believe in the magic of Christmas, look how happy people are and how much nicer they are at Christmas, how people give to charity more, people sing more…..that’s real magic

and left it there hahahaha

I don't care who gets the credit. Genuinely. Christmas is about seeing my children happy and excited. It doesn't matter to me if a mythical guy in a red suit gets the credit - eventually when the kids are grown up they'll know who bought and wrapped all that stuff 😂

Kids believe in magic in all kinds of ways - tooth fairy, easter bunny, monsters under the bed, fairies at the bottom of the garden etc etc. Everyone can parent how they want but believing in magic for a while isn't a precursor to some religious zeal.

I love it. My DC love it. And I have heard many, many people say that it was never the same after they found out the magic wasn't real.

Seriously what is the point of Santa?

Altruistic giving. Not taking glory for your kindness. Humble gifting.

It’s about not showing off at all the stuff you bought and giving thanks to someone else.

metaphor for Christ really.

Seriously what is the point of Santa?
Fun? Tradition?
What's the point of anything?

It’s a lovely magical tale but some parents just take it way too far - different wrapping paper / angsting about those dreadful other children telling the truth/ lying to your 8 year olds face. I think some middle class parents see it as a badge of honour that their older children still “believe”. Signifies they are great parents and their kids are innocent etc. Just what I’ve observed over the years anyway.

Kids believe in magic in all kinds of ways - tooth fairy, easter bunny, monsters under the bed, fairies at the bottom of the garden etc etc

All of these are lies told to them by adults.

I must be a bit dim as well then. I was about 10/11. Nasty comment.

Someone isn't a morning person......

Yes. Obviously they're lies. And that's because none of those things are real.

Most children love it.

Most children find the idea of magic wonderful, and grow up to have fond memories of believing.

If yours aren't that way inclined, then don't tell them any of it. Simple.

I think it's fine children believing in primary school ,I would say the vast majority of year six,s probably do know the truth,.special needs aside I think it's unfair to allow a child to go to secondary school not knowing the truth purely because other kids can be cruel .