“Mum, please tell the truth. Is Santa real?” What do I say!?

[Tweeeezer]

8 year old asked me before bed: “Mum, can I ask you a question? But can you please tell me the truth?”
I replied, “Of course,”
He said. “Is Santa real?”
His younger sibling was in the bottom bunk and listening so I said, “Do you want Santa to be real?” (Avoiding the question).
And he said “Yes, but I don’t think he is.”
His younger sibling started talking about how if Santa sees you, you don’t get any presents so was a bit oblivious (also no idea where he got that story from!).
I said, “Can we talk about this together later? Just you and me?” And looked pointedly at the bottom bunk. He agreed and started talking about Lego.

Do I wait for him to ask again? And, more importantly, I have to tell the truth, right?! But I’m so sad that the magic of Christmas will be gone for him!

I like this! He didn’t bring it up this morning, I’m wondering if I should approach it when he comes home from school or let him?

This is lovely!

My point was why insist a character is real,it's like insisting Cinderella is real? And the whole world most definitely doesn't think FC is real.

I agree, and it's what I was trying to say but put in a much more eloquent way.

I perhaps wouldn't specifically bring it up with your son if he hasn't asked again but maybe prompt him during a quiet moment with "was there anything you wanted to talk about or ask me?" and if he asks again, then tell him and frame it in the way above. I'd tell him he can now "be Santa" too and help keep the magic alive and surprise his younger sibling.

Cinderella is based on a European Princess, I can't remember the whole story but there is some truth in it.

At 8 I would tell the truth.

My 5yo asked me if Santa was real, he wanted to know why the Santa on TV, at the mall and in books all looked different. Can't deny that logic. Tbh he is 6 now and most of the kids in his class have figured it out going by last Xmas events at school and the discussions my ds relayed. I am very surprised that an 8yo still believes- more likely they are having you on as pp mentioned.

Yes, totally.

Critical thinking should be coming in surely - how does Santa get round all the houses in one night, how does he know where people live and what they want, how does he and the gifts get into the houses, how do the presents get produced/bought/found... so many questions!

I'm also surprised children aren't asking why kids of other religions don't get visited by Santa. Surely in diverse classrooms this comes up? My friends 7 year old twigged partly because his little Muslim mate was so baffled about the idea of Santa/Christmas/presents and they worked out it must be a made up story. My friend was also taken a bit aback when her son asked about this and she ended up confirming his suspicions were correct.

I'm in the 'don't lie to kids' camp and have always found the Santa myth difficult to go along with. I had realised by the time I was 5 and got into trouble as I told my friends at school, mostly as 'be good or Santa won't bring you presents' was being used by parents to control behaviour and I remember being a bit outraged that gown ups would lie!

Obviously you should tell your son the truth. Why would you lie to your child when he has specifically asked you to be honest?

“Father Christmas is real, but he isn’t a jolly man in a red suit. Father Christmas is anyone who does something to make Christmas special for others. I’m Father Christmas, and so is Daddy, and Grandma, etc etc. Most importantly, now that you know the secret, you’re Father Christmas too. It’s your job to keep the secret and help keep the magic for the children who haven’t found out yet. Can you do that?”

You absolutely must tell the truth. Age 8/9 is I think pretty typical to work it out. I’ve been in year 7 lessons when the penny has dropped for a child and it is painful to see.

Agree. My 5yo ds was full of questions like this and we immediately told him the truth. I also won't stop him from discussing this with other children.I am completely shocked that 9/10/11 yo still believe in Santa.

My DD asked me for the truth when she was 8. At 9pm on Christmas Eve! When I gently admitted that it was us that bought the presents (they only got stockings from Santa anyway), she then asked about the tooth fairy! And then we discovered her hamster was ill. That was a good Christmas Eve! But Christmas morning came, and the two of them bounded into our bedroom all excited by the stockings. Cuddles in bed, then DD8 leapt up and excitedly shouted "Let's see if Father Christmas has been!" They raced downstairs and my DH and I looked at each other, wondering if she remembered anything about the night before! However, after opening presents, she quietly came over to me, gave me a big hug and whispered "thank you for our presents". It was so sweet! She loved keeping it going for her sister.

Believed until I was 10 and a half.

Got a first class honours in law.

I ain't dim.

I think you need to tell him the truth, especially as he specifically asked you to. I never believed in Santa (my mother did try to convince me but, apparently, I was having none of it from the age of about 4.) She still did the stockings though because my sister believed and I really don't think it was any less magical because I knew it was my mum doing it really.

In fact, she still does a little stocking for us if we're at home for Xmas and I must say, it STILL feels a bit magical having a nice, lumpy stocking at 34 😆

My youngest declared that she knew in a shopping trip. But we pretend because daddy doesn't know she knows and he insists we all believe. It's a fun joke in the house. Same with the tooth fairy. Daddy says it's real (with a smile and a wink) so we all believe. It's fun!

Yes you have to tell him the truth. I wouldn't worry too much about the magic being gone. A far as I remember I have never believed in Santa (and my parents never pretended he was real) but I've always loved Christmas. My parents used to mskr a big fuss. We always had a an advent calendar tree that we decorated together. my mum baked Christmas cookies throughout December. We made lots of decorations and my parents always encouraged us to sing or play Christmas carols. They even took us to mass some days and for a few years we celebrated every advent as well. For me it was magical. It was even more magical because my parents really embraced Christmas even though we were not Christians (my parents are Hindus) and even as a small child I appreciated their effort. I never thought that believing in Santa would make it more magical.

It was the traditions we followed and the effort my parents put into it that made it magical.

I told him after school yesterday!

I asked him if he remembered what we were talking about before bed, he said yes, I said, “Do you want to ask me again?” (as he very likely might have thought I was referring to the Lego chat 😆). He asked again, and I told him what other posters advised. I said that St Nicholas was a real person, that anyone who gives presents in his name keep the magic of Santa alive, and now that he knows, he can be part of the magic, too!

I asked how he felt, and he said he felt sad, but glad he knew. Then he slipped away to play and didn’t bring it up again.

You handled that brilliantly 😊 it’s always sad when a little bit of their childhood goes forever, but he would have found out one day and it’s lovely he found out in his own time from you as opposed to someone in the playground who might not have been so kind.

Well handled op. He knows and it's miles from Christmas. Just make sure he keeps it quiet for his sibling.

TBH I don't think you can ask kids to keep hush from peers. As much as you'd like them too it becomes a status thing in school who is grown up and who isn't.

Those who still believe will believe anyways, those who are teetering won't

What I'm trying to say is P3 (English Yr2) I was 6 nearly 7 someone told me "Santa was only your mum and dad".
Nonsense said my 6 year old self of course Santa is real. How could it be mum and dad? Where did they put stuff.

My older sibling ruined a few years later showing me.the hidy places

Thank you - what a lovely reply 😊

Yes I’m not sure how well he’ll do keeping it from peers / sibling but he didn’t say a word to his brother after the chat and I think he sort of likes the idea of being one of the magic keepers?! But he’s a kid and kids talk 😂

Kids do talk and you'll never stop them talking at school but a bit of bribery and they will play along for siblings.

I've even managed to get my oldest to visit Santa 🎅 even if he did think it was childish just to keep the magic for my little one. Big age gap oldest had sussed it before youngest really understood what Santa was all about.