“Mum, please tell the truth. Is Santa real?” What do I say!?

[Tweeeezer]

8 year old asked me before bed: “Mum, can I ask you a question? But can you please tell me the truth?”
I replied, “Of course,”
He said. “Is Santa real?”
His younger sibling was in the bottom bunk and listening so I said, “Do you want Santa to be real?” (Avoiding the question).
And he said “Yes, but I don’t think he is.”
His younger sibling started talking about how if Santa sees you, you don’t get any presents so was a bit oblivious (also no idea where he got that story from!).
I said, “Can we talk about this together later? Just you and me?” And looked pointedly at the bottom bunk. He agreed and started talking about Lego.

Do I wait for him to ask again? And, more importantly, I have to tell the truth, right?! But I’m so sad that the magic of Christmas will be gone for him!

My son finally noticed how many of Santas toys were sold at Tesco and looked at me suspiciously and asked 'mum, are YOU Santa'? For a couple years after he was my elf and helped put the presents under the tree after his younger sister went to bed on Christmas Eve.

What a weird/unkind response.

My dd was double figures when she worked out (genuinely, she's an adult and chuckles about it now)

Dim? Sort your language out.

I'd tell the truth

DD realised at 8 and I was a bit disappointed, but I insisted she must not tell her younger brother. He still believed when he was 11 because he seems more innocent.

Believing in Santa until relatively old doesn't mean you're a bit dim! But if my child asked straight out I would (and did) tell the truth.

So far I've managed saying he's real for people who believe in him. Not sure how much longer I can get away with that though.

Id be abit worried if they hadn’t twigged by 8/9. I mean how long do you want to keep that one goung?! I’d worry they were a little dim if they genuinely believed at 9/10.

My niece believed until she was 11. She graduated from Oxford with a 1st.

Oh come on! Ok then “slow on the uptake” “gullible”. They all know really - half the time late primary kids are having the parents on by pretending to believe for your sakes! (Confirmed by my mother who taught this age group for 20 plus years!)

You tell him the truth. Astonishing he hasn't realised before now at the age of eight. Maybe he has. Baffles me that any reasonably intelligent child would go along with the nonsense without question beyond the age of about five.

You can be academically bright but totally daft though.

For goodness sake, tell your child the truth! They asked for your honesty and should be able to trust you.

Yet another unnecessarily nasty response ,just why
Does it make you feel better to be unkind about small kids?

I think it's a good time to talk about our myth system.

Justice and kindness are not physical things, just a belief or interpretation of actions. We hope they are real

Believing in something is magical and it's up to us to decided if we believe in it.

My 9 year old still believes but has recently told me that Santa is 'a bit creepy'. All that watching you and coming into your room in the dead of night. Fair comment.

11 y.o DS has been skeptical for a couple of years but seems to decide closer to Christmas that he does believe. Hedging his bets in case not believing stops the presents I think. He starts secondary this year so it'll be interesting to see what stance he takes this year.

I think the majority of them go along with it because they enjoy the magic of it .

Nothing to do with intelligence or being gullible .

Some adults on here are total fun sponges

I still haven't told my 27 year old he's not real 🤣

My DC are 12 and 9 and know Santa isn't real. It hasn't spoiled the 'magic' of Christmas at all...in fact, I think Christmas is even nicer now as they are truly grateful for what they receive and appreciate the time/energy/money that goes in to making it happen.

DS14 (autistic) and DS10 both still believe, their dad and me are happy to keep up the pretence until they don’t!

Wow, that's an interesting comment! My older two boys were 11 when they cottoned on, and they are not at all dim. My youngest is 9 and has worked it out but plays along. There are so many factors involved in when kids works out what is going on, accusing a child of being 'dim' because they are delightfully unaware is pretty harsh.

Yes I'd tell him the truth but tell him not to tell his little brother. In years 5/6, lots of kids know and laugh at the ones who still believe.

Now I’m older and my children are adults I do wonder why we perpetuate the myth of Santa being real. Reading the responses there are many saying “I would have to tell him the truth” and yet the majority of us have lied for 8 years, give or take, some to the extent of buying gifts from Santa and wrapping them in different gift wrapping so as not to shatter the illusion. If you think about it we’re telling our children that it’s alright for some random old guy to come into the house at night, but it’s ok he’s bringing you gifts. Not sure what I’m going to do moving forward with this, I suppose if there are grandchildren in my future I’ll worry about it then.

Dd 20, we still haven't had the conversation. She's an only.
She's never asked me outright tho, so I think you handled it well there.

I'd definitely take the lead and say, you know what you asked last night do you still want to talk about it?

Then if yes the magic of Christmas thing could be a nice explanation.

My mum told me when I asked her

"In the eyes of children he is real"

I accepted that until I got to secondary school and some poor kid was bullied for still believing then I realised he wasn't.

It was a shame though as it really ruined Christmas for me. I hope to keep Santa going for as long as possible for my son.

My eldest asked last year aged 9. I replied what do you think? And they said they didn't know.

I'm sure this year they know and I won't keep it a secret anymore if they ask . It's a shame when they stop believing, but I do find Christmas Eve extremely stressful so selfishly l will be happy if they want to help me being Santa for the youngest.

If you have grandchildren in the future it will ne none of your business, it's up to their parents to decide what they tell them

Seriously what is the point of Santa?

We the parents are the ones who put the effort into Christmas, buying and wrapping presents. Why give some random the credit?

Also, it’s just a precursor to religious belief because we’re basically asking them to believe in something that clearly makes no logical or material sense.

I know that’s all a bit grumpy but it is the truth.