Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

DC with Sen mum's would you want me to tell you this or not?

138 replies

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 10:37

Child's party,I asked my dd if her bf in the other class

Dd said " yes, all DC are invited except a b and x".

Ab and c are the DC with Sen

I know a s mum.
Reasonably well, she's always super positive etc.
Does she need to know this or should I tell the school.or
..just not mention it.

OP posts:

JambalayaC · 03/07/2022 10:42

Eh?

lolil · 03/07/2022 10:46

Can you try again? Maybe add a few more words?

Annon12345 · 03/07/2022 10:48

Struggling to understand your post but I think you're saying your dd invited all children except a couple of one of them is sen? I'd that right? You want to know whether to tell that mum?? If I've got the right then no you ask your daughter why they aren't invited and them maybe help her understand why a child is like they are and maybe suggest she get to know them by inviting them?
If I've got your post wrong then totally ignore my post

NCforgoodreason · 03/07/2022 10:49

Please can you explain properly? None of that makes sense sorry.

CuttedUpDress · 03/07/2022 10:51

I wouldn't allow my child to invite everyone but the SEN/ALN children.

It's your DD you need to speak to, not the other parents.

Original poster

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 10:52

Oh sorry I missed out " if her bf in the other class was going".

The point is, the children are obviously aware of the three DC with additional needs.

It seems like they are being left out? Now I don't think or can imagine the venue could hold all DC from both classes.
But it's the attitude?

The fact other DC are talking about leaving these DC out.
The mum has also stressed how her dd loves the class and school,even though she maybe better off somewhere else.
The school itself is notoriously bad for supporting Sen, putting parents off ehcp etc. This is the mum's first DC and she's not aware of many things to do with Sen in that other DC can be cruel,the school manages her but she thinks it's amazing...

OP posts:

Adversity · 03/07/2022 10:53

I think it’s not her child’s party it’s another party and her daughters friend has not been invited and the three children including the daughters friend with SN are the only ones to heave not been invited. She is wondering if she should tell her daughters friends Mum that her child has not been invited and tell the school.

How could the school, do anything because it is a private off site party.

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 03/07/2022 10:53

So your DC has invited the whole class except the 3 x DC who all happen to be SEN? (Why? Not very nice is it?)
You are friends with one DC’s mum and you want to tell her her DC is not invited because of this?

Original poster

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 10:54

Oh fuck

Let's start again.

My dd was invited to another DC party.
I wanted to know if my dd best friend from the other class was going because they had a play date before.

My dd responded " yes, my bf is invited, all the DC are except a ,b and c".

It's not our party, we always invite a , we don't know the other two DC.

OP posts:

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 03/07/2022 10:55

So it’s not your DC’s party?

Original poster

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 10:57

No!!

I would never ever let my DC do this!!
We invite the DC we know but we also don't have whole class parties!

My close relative had severe Sen.

OP posts:

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 03/07/2022 10:58

I don’t think you can tell her her DC’s is not invited because of the SEN, that would be very hurtful. I’d keep out of it, I’m sure she can figure it out for herself.

lolil · 03/07/2022 10:58

So it's not your child's party but you are asking if you should tell tales to 3 parents of SEN children about them not being invited?

Yeah, that's a hard no. Stay well out of it.

As a parent of 2 autistic children I was always glad when they were not invited. We never went to parties anyway, so it was easier not to be invited.

I would question your motivation if you approached me to tell me my child was one of 3 not invited to a party. I would assume you had beef with the mum of the birthday child and were trying to shit stir.

TeapotTitties · 03/07/2022 10:58

So you're asking if you should tell the parents of the 3 DC with SEN, that theirs are the only kids not invited? Is that right?

If so, why do you think they wouldn't work that out for themselves?

stealthninjamum · 03/07/2022 10:59

When this happened to my daughter (she was one of three not invited to a party) a lovely friend told me. I told the teacher who then closed down any conversations about the party on the Friday afternoon and took dd out on a special day. I think it’s awful to exclude Sen kids and it really changed my opinion of the mum who did it.

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 03/07/2022 10:59

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 10:57

No!!

I would never ever let my DC do this!!
We invite the DC we know but we also don't have whole class parties!

My close relative had severe Sen.

Yeah I get it now (took a while 🤯😆)
No just stay out of it, it’s too hurtful to tell them.

Cakemamma19 · 03/07/2022 11:00

So basically the SEN children are being purposefully excluded. That's not on. My daughter is deaf and has unfortunately been excluded from events. Its heartbreaking. Yes I would tell the parents and the school it's not ok.

lolil · 03/07/2022 11:01

Cakemamma19 · 03/07/2022 11:00

You would tell school of a child wasn't invited to a party?

Jesus Christ. I have heard it all now.

gamerchick · 03/07/2022 11:02

The only person you should say something to is the hosting parent. The parents of the kids know, believe me. Don't rub salt in the wound. It's a bit of a nasty thought to contemplate OP.

CadburyCrunchy · 03/07/2022 11:02

@Summerwhereareyou I'm assuming English isn't your first language based on your posts...

Anyway, of course you shouldn't mention it to the other 3 Mums... why on earth would you do that, unless of course you actually want to cause trouble?

Original poster

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 11:03

At loli

That's a very rude post.

My own close relative had very severe disabilities so I have some experience of this.

My post wasn't clear but I'm asking whether the parent would want to know or whether I should mention it to the school.

The school can'tdo anything but perhaps they could generally do some chats or assembly s on being kind and inclusive.

It's the attitude that upset me and I don't know the other two DC mum's.

I'm not telling tales i don't even know if that's true.
I would be telling the mum to make her aware and maybe she wants to raise this with the school.

Maybe even an email to all parent's could go out?

There is absolutely no need to be rude.
I'm asking for genuine opinions otherwise I would have already done it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Summerwhereareyou · 03/07/2022 11:05

Cadbury

Again why the rude response!

I can't believe the responses.

If this was me and some one told me other DC were talking about my child like this.

I would be onto the school to do some work on being kind, inclusive, we are all different?!!

OP posts:

TeenDivided · 03/07/2022 11:05

If you were to do anything, I think raise it with the party Mum. As in, thank you for the invite, DD would love to come. I just wanted to check, DD says the whole year group is invited except 3. She must have that wrong surely?

PurpleWisteria · 03/07/2022 11:05

It is nasty but really not your business to tell the school. It's not the school's business either. Mention it to the mother if you feel you must, though.

TeapotTitties · 03/07/2022 11:05

How old are the kids?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread