DC with Sen mum's would you want me to tell you this or not?

[Summerwhereareyou]

Child's party,I asked my dd if her bf in the other class

Dd said " yes, all DC are invited except a b and x".

Ab and c are the DC with Sen

I know a s mum.
Reasonably well, she's always super positive etc.
Does she need to know this or should I tell the school.or
..just not mention it.

Gamer chick I don't this mum is aware actually.
Maybe it's her coping strategy.

@Summerwhereareyou

What do you mean it's rude? You asked and I said stay out of it. I told you how it would look from my POV. Not seeing things the same as someone also doesn't equal rude

Purposely excluding a couple of children is bullying whether it happens on or off site. Yes, I think the school should know that this is happening.

I would be onto the school to do some work on being kind, inclusive, we are all different?!!

It's not up to school to teach parents about inviting children to parties. School have enough to do without policing social lives.

Loli it's about being kind and inclusive and actually schools do do work on this.

The DC are 8/9.

You could mention it to the school if you wish but you don’t need to mention it to the parents of children with SEN as no matter what sort of front we put on, we are very aware that our children are excluded by other families.

And if this is the attitude toward a party, goodness knows what's going on in the school??

@Summerwhereareyou the only one being rude here is you! You asked for opinions, we gave them and because you don't like our opinions you decide that we're rude... ok then...

You even said in your previous post that you don't even know that it's true! So basically, for all you know those 3 children may have been invited, the other children wouldn't know this and you've jumped to conclusions! You sound like a busy body who admits you only know half a story here and you don't know the full facts!

If the DC are 8 & 9, what makes you think the parents won't find out through their kids?

As PPs have said, if you must get involved, speak to the parents who are throwing the party, not the parents of the uninvited DC as that could really come across as rubbing it in.

I would keep out of it, but make sure all these children are invited to your DC's parties. Lead by example.

Urgh. Of course they do. With children. What they don't do is dictate to parents who they should invite to parties.

My child has SEN.

DONT raise it with the SEN child's parents, it is not their problem. Raise it with the parent who has done the excluding or with the school.

If you raised it with me I wouldn't be that appreciative of you making me feel shit! They probably already know anyway.

Incidentally at a party my son was invited to, the party host mum snatched an inflatable off my child as they were in teams passing them through their legs. My child was taking too long to do it and her child was in that team and she wanted the team to win. I was horrified for my child who did notice and was upset (as was I). I would actually rather we hadn't been invited!

@lolil

It's your reference to telling tales fhat is really rude.

No, I wouldn't want you to tell me..

No I wouldn't want to know tbh.

I do think your heart is in the right place though OP.

It's not about dictating to other parents about who they should make their DC invite to parties.

It's about 3 dc with additional needs seemingly being recognised as such and potentially being ostracized within the classes.

It's not even really about party mum but the attitude within the classes.

How would you describe it then? Because it's not your child's party and it's not your child that isn't invited. I think telling tales is an accurate description of what you were suggesting. It's not your business.

I am a mum of a Sen child and I would love to think that other parents were looking out for us please do what @TeenDivided says and bring it up as a possible miscommunication by your daughter. At the very least it may make her rethink in the future.

But what @lolil is telling you is that that's how you could come across to the parents who already know their kids have been excluded.

Read the thread. You asked for opinions from mums with kids who have SN and they're giving you their answers.

Keep out of it. Why would you tell the school? I doubt they have any control over who gets invited to private event.

So it's nothing to do with the party and it's about the children in class? How do you know so much about their needs and what goes on in class?

One of mine spent their whole primary years alone in class. You might say that school were not inclusive because the child was not with his peers. Actually they were being actively inclusive by fulfilling his need to be alone.

What do you mean that it's about the attitude in the classes?

The party parents (not just mum) have decided this. They have not invited those 3 kids.

But you're saying it isn't the attitude of party mum (let's blame mum, not dad) that's bothering you, it's the attitude in the class?

What do you expect to kids in class to do about it? Should all these 8 year olds say no to a party because a few kids aren't going? This isn't the fault of all the children. It is the party parents who are the problem.

Do what you want but if you're going to tell the school or other parents then get someone to read your message before you send it because the things you're written here have been really difficult to understand.

Georges;

In an ideal world the school would fire out an email on something about, it's come to our attention that some children are pointing out differences between them in an unkind way,
.our school doesn't tolerate bullying or unkindness and we expect parents to help their DC understand the concepts of helping each other, accepting each other.

And do an assembly on it without singling out the DC of course. That's the tricky part.

In an ideal world the school would fire out an email on something about, it's come to our attention that some children are pointing out differences between them in an unkind way,
.our school doesn't tolerate bullying or unkindness and we expect parents to help their DC understand the concepts of helping each other, accepting each other.

Ok but this doesn't balance with not being invited to a party? Who is doing these things you talk about here? I think you are over reacting massively to something that has nothing to do with you. It's also wise to remember that you are not in possession of all the facts here.