DC with Sen mum's would you want me to tell you this or not?

[Summerwhereareyou]

Child's party,I asked my dd if her bf in the other class

Dd said " yes, all DC are invited except a b and x".

Ab and c are the DC with Sen

I know a s mum.
Reasonably well, she's always super positive etc.
Does she need to know this or should I tell the school.or
..just not mention it.

I don't understand why your post's have been so agressive towards me .

That's probably because I am not being aggressive?

Pointing out your chopping and changing isn't aggression. I'm sorry you can't seem to cope with people who disagree (called rude) or challenge your changing details (called aggressive) but if you post asking about a party then say the party is a red herring then it's only to be expected that people will question it.

My personal views are that we are all responsible for the society we live in, we can all ask our DC to be kind, don't leave some one alone, and so on.

And my point was that often being 'left out' is kind. From one POV my poor kids never went to parties. From their POV they were happy at home, and would not have liked to be at a party. You are making far too many assumptions here. In fact your entire posts are ALL assumed. So, back to my original response, stay out of it.

Also. The Christian values thing? These values surly done override the needs of a child with disabilities? Being kind, means doing what's right for each person individually. Not having them all do the same thing.

@RichardOsmansXraySpecs

My dd has mild sen, you would never know from talking to her , being with her. So it's not relevant, nor a drip feed.

Re the parties I said early on I didn't think the venue could hold all the DC from both classes..

That means I didn't think it was all DC from both classes invited. I said ,it was the attitude.

Can I ask what you feel you are contributing to this sensitive topic?

It's something that has been troubling me for a while because I have not known what to do.

Loli

Maybe this is where you have misunderstood the point.

There is nothing to disagree with .

I am asking for opinions and most posters have said how they would feel and managed to convey that without agression.

I appreciate your DC wanted to be excluded.

This little girl definitely doesn't.

Maybe this is where you have misunderstood the point.

I don't think I will be the only person to have misunderstood you today.

Also. Again, I am not being aggressive. If you read my post with aggression that's on you, not me. I have absolutely no need to be aggressive.

Op you have organised parties where not every child is invited. Your daughter is invited to a party where not every child is invited. The venue doesn't have the capacity to hold every child. I think you're determined to be offended about something, honestly as others have said, just leave it. It's not your party.
When you do organise another party just make sure you invite all the children.

The party itself is a bit of a red herring, I should have stated this in the op. . its more the attitudes within the classes.Let's say it was a party between two class and actually not just 3 dc were left out.

So you don't actually know what's going on and have decided to be offended on others behalf?

Ah but its OK for op and her kids to only invite who they want to their party, just not other people.....

@Summerwhereareyou You don’t really know if not actually invited or just not going. So you’d need to check your facts. But personally I’d stay out of it.

Tbh my opinion on this would vary depending on the behaviour of the children. You don't know if the birthday child has had bad experiences with these children.

Holier than thou?

Wow.

As the relative of someone with severe disabilities I find that comment absolutely repugnant.
If I was on a crusade I would have already done it anyway.

Honestly @Summerwhereareyou i have no idea why you have got the response you have its bizarre. Its clear what you saying and asking and yes I think that telling the school that children are deliberately being left out due to sen is the right thing to do. The school can talk to the children about being kind etc. I actually cant believe that anyone doesn't think this is the right thing to do.

Why do you have boy want to speak to the parents of the Sen kids and not the parent who has not invited them?!

That implies itself you were gossiping rather than trying to fix a problem or inequality. Speak to party mum if you have to poke your nose in,

Michelle we have never done huge parties. We have hosted some at home,we don't even have them every year.
We have always invited the girl in question

But op doesn't actually know if this is why they've been left out, they are not the only children not invited! In fact op has said she doesn't know children b c and x or anything about them!

A whole class party except 3 with SEN? Out of order and I would be making sure the teachers knew to intervene if talk of it was going to upset the children not invited.

Whole year group party except 3 with SEN? As above.

A small party less than half the class? No specific group seemingly being excluded? It is what it is and I wouldn't be bothered.

Children or parents basing their invitations on a child's needs/diagnosis/condition? That's just plain discrimination and needs stamping out.

I have a child with SEN and a typical child with no difficulties.

My child with SEN hasn't been the victim of this shitty behaviour so far but if it ever happens I would be speaking directly to the parent. I'd be making it clear than I know exactly what they are and I wouldn't accept an invitation in future anyway but they'd be shown up for being a disabilist prick.

I've always had rules about parties.

It's either
Whole class (if affordable/cheap)
All boys
All girls
Very small group (maybe 4-5) for more expensive activities
A family tea party and more to spend on presents

There's a boy in my daughters class with adhd and autism, he is prone to unusual behaviours and can have outbursts in class when overwhelmed. Over the years kids have told us bits that have happened in school and some parents seem to do what they can do exclude this boy from parties and actually tell their kids they mustn't play with him. It's horrendous and just goes to show we still have a long way to go.

My school would want to know if it was a recurrent issue and have in the past sent an email out to a specific class reminding parents to be inclusive where possible despite some challenging behaviour due to SEN.

...However it's not clear whether this is an ongoing issue or just one party. I'm also not convinced I'd take the word of a child as to who has or has not been invited. You don't really know enough about it. Especially if you don't know all the other children involved. I'd stay out of it on this occasion but maybe keep an eye out and if it happens again (SEN children excluded from a whole class party) mention it to the school.

I have children with SEN and I'm fortunate that they've been invited to parties (although one chooses to decline invites as they don't like the stress of parties). I have however noticed that a few children with SEN in one class get invited to fewer parties (but they aren't whole class parties) and this makes me sad but I can't see how I am able to change it tbh. If I was hosting a class party I'd invite everyone but I don't do whole class parties so can't.

Why haven't you invited all the children? Why not b,c and x?

I wouldn’t mention it no. My dad who has sen didn’t attend a party (even though they were clearly going on) until she went to school with other children who have sen.

Sad really we always said we would just take her on holiday during her birthday but the other sen parents experienced the same and the sen parties now are -WILD-.

Guess we all have had a similar experience and now are making the most of parties.

DD not dad 😬

@MichelleScarn no but she is aware of how the children are talking about these children through her dd. If the children haven't been left out due to sen (althoughfrom all the parents comments on here seems very likely) talking about being kind, differences, including everyone etc. Still isnt a bad thing is it?

@Hallyup89

That post has no place on MN .