The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

@Purplelion

I am really sorry you are going through this. I am probably going to sound naive now but is there anyway you could get some help from a food bank, and could you ex do a bit more regularly??

Thank you.
I do access the local community fridge which is a great help! I work in a local supermarket and find myself getting items for free that I have literally donated the day before!

My ex is pretty good, if I need to borrow a bit he will always help if he can but he struggles himself as well, some months we are borrowing and lending the same £20 between us!

It’s good you can support each other, and that you’ve got some community resources.

But I am really sorry it’s so tough.

I no this might seem a bit f* offish and no point but I just want to say to anyone coming to this thread or back to it today to please keep going.i no it's so hard.i no you want to cry and feel like your living with this great bundle if fear in your gut every single day.your tired.weary.but please carry on in however you can.
I've seen alot of desperate posts on this thread and I'm so sorry. But as you can see,you are not alone.how that helps I do not No! But apparently it's meant to...😑sseriously though if only because it means someone else gets it and are thinking of you today.
Keep finding anything in the day to make you smile.if you can.dont give up.
Sorry about this very ha yes by mn sickly post.the end.

I'm grateful for this thread. It can feel so isolating being poor. And the mental health implications are horrendous too.

a ridiculous thing I never thought would be a problem when I was younger happened last night, I took about ten minutes deliberating whether I should make myself a hot chocolate and if there would be enough milk left for the kids before my carers allowance went in today, there was, but I still felt guilty. This is instant cheap hot chocolate made at home in the microwave.

oh well, we carry on and keep going. Off to glue the soles on my sons school shoes now, but luckily everyone agrees with the lie that I don't want to buy more so close to the summer holidays.

My contribution is nowhere near as harrowing as some of the experiences shared on this thread.

I've had to scrape the pennies together to buy a loaf of bread and I'm reliant on Boots Advantage card points to buy my toiletries and Tesco Clubcard to buy my food shopping.

But for me, one of the worst things about being poor is the isolation and not fitting in.

Acquaintances make small talk about holidays and weekends away they've been on or are going on. They pause and look at me expecting me to contribute something with my own holiday plans but I can't do that because I haven't been on holiday in years. I see the look of realisation on their face and they change the subject.

I try to keep the focus on them and encourage them to keep talking by asking questions but there's always a point where they're expecting me to say something about my weekends away and holidays but of course, I can't. It's as though they're in their own little bubble and assume everyone goes on holidays and weekends away.

Recently, friends have all been going to expensive gigs, music festivals and theatre shows. They go all the time but it seems to have affected me more lately, probably because it's festival season and they're all asking if I'm going to different festivals this year "no" "oh, you have to definitely come nexr year!"

A friend actually bought an extra ticket for me for a band she knew I liked before they sold out, she was wanting me to pay her for it. I had to explain that although it was a nice thought, I didn't ask her to get me a ticket and that there's no way I can afford that kind of money. If I had a spare £70-80, I'd be taking my child out somewhere nice. This is alien to my friend who says she's skint sometimes but still manages to go on a weekend away every month and holidays multiple times a year as well as to various gigs, shows, etc.

I'd love to go on holidays and to shows, etc and I feel really boring when chatting with friends and meeting new people. With my peer group the conversation always turns to fun things like holidays and music festivals, gigs, theatre, experience days... I just sit there in silence or mention that yes, I've seen that band live but it was over a decade ago now and no, I can't go to their gig in October.

People I know don't get it. I'm glad to have found this thread but also sad and angry that so many people are in a similar or much worse position.

I remember being poor in the 70s and 80s. Absolutely no money what so ever. No school trips as this was before the school would help out. Sitting in the class with a different year group while everyone was on a trip. Queueing up for FSM and the dinner lady shouting that all those on benefit dinners line up here. It was inhumane. Dreading mufti days as people would laugh at my hideous jumble sale clothes. God it was awful. We're not as badly off as my parents were thankfully but things are still pretty tight. I feel as if I have never really had free money to spend all my life. Wishing it was easier for everyone. I have a feeling it will get worse. Such terribly sad times. I wish it was different these days.

I'm sure you meant well.
What about those of us who have already done this?
I have £71 in the bank till payday on Friday, with a water bill outstanding for £183 (yes already on the Waterscheme).
I work 25 hours plus overtime when available. I do get tax credits.
I only buy clothes from charity shops. Thank goodness I wear a work uniform. I never have haircuts. I do all my own DIY. The car will have to go without a service this year. Phone screen has a massive crack - have insurance but there is a £50 excess so will not get it replaced. I don't smoke or drink. We will not have a holiday.
I spent £30 on food last week for three of us - careful budgeting, reduced food, lentils in the mince etc etc. Towards the end of the month I am looking at my balance every day worrying about which DD are due.
I think I am fortunate in that I have enough savings to borrow if I am in danger of going overdrawn or have an emergency - but still money is on my mind a great deal of the time, like a lead weight on my heart.

Here’s a new one for this morning.

I poured the milk that mu girls didn’t drink back into the bottle so I can hopefully get one more day out of it before I need to buy more milk.

@purplelion I do keep the dc milk fir my coffee.

Another one for today. 1 DC has a sickness bug I've done so many loads of washing. So much detergent and the bloody electricity 😪

Yes, I remember pupils being given a 'token' to hand in for dinners, thankfully things are different now. Also going to school with a plastic bag instead of a proper school bag, and being taken aside by the teacher to ask if things were OK. It's hard.

I have seen others say they are better off on UC, might be worth a look. Best of luck. I'm on tax credits also.

However savings can impact UC more than Tax credits thought better mention.

the poorer you are, the more you're expected to be socially responsible

It's hidden in plain sight, really, but whenever the government want to discourage people from doing things that harm their health or the environment, all they ever do is put a big tax premium on it. In theory, this might make sense; but all it actually does is reduce the choices of the poor.

Rich and comfortably-off people who want to keep doing it don't have to stop and think for a moment - they just look at the total cost (including the huge amount of tax), have no trouble paying it and all is well for them.

I don't know what the answer would be, though. Means-testing probably wouldn't go down well, so that the extra tax is the same proportion of your income/wealth for everybody. I suppose that, if they gave every person a set allowance, the rich would just buy the allowances off the poor, but at least the poor would then end up with something, as long as it was a luxury they could do without and not something without which they would greatly struggle, but saw no other alternative.

I do that too @Purplelion

One thing that I find particularly hard this time of year is when people start asking what we're doing over the summer holidays.

I haven't had a holiday since around 2006. My kids have never been on holiday. We don't even have passports.

And now my eldest is a teen and has a phone, she sees pictures of all her school friends on holiday. "Soandso is in Costa Rica! Can we go to Costa Rica?" 😵‍💫

I know this isn’t the point of this post but it’s actually nice to read about other people being in the same position as me!

My Mum used to do that. She’d empty our glasses into a small jug or a mug and put it back in the fridge. She’d use it for cups of tea.
Same with orange juice. It went back in the fridge.

@Twillow I'm sorry but having £71 in the bank until Friday and having savings you can dip into if needed is not being skint.

If your current account is running low but you have sav

Posted too soon...but yes, if you have savings you can dip into then you're not skint. I have affluent friends who describe themselves as such when I know they have tens of thousands in savings . Just piss off!

The difference is that you have £71 and not 71p in your account 5 days before payday, not 5 minutes after it, or worse still are in an unauthorised overdraft where they charge you money you haven't got for not having the money you haven't got, and you don't have savings to stop you getting overdrawn or to use in an emergency, the emergency just stays an emergency and you do without whatever broke and you go into that overdraft and pay the fees next time meaning you are even more likely to go into it next month.

I have been in that situation and I understand the toll it takes, I'm in a similar situation to you now, I have under £500 in savings and can manage month to month having got myself in front (due to 12 months worth of annual leave being denied and then paid instead and tbh I'm not sure the toll on my physical and mental health was worth it) meaning I could take advantage of all the bulk buy savings for a couple of months, pay a few pressing things and put a 'float' on the gas and electric.
You have a buffer, and so do I, that's not being skint, that's not hoping to find coins down the back of the sofa for a loaf of reduced, going out of date bread so you can eat something, it's not an amazing lifestyle I grant you, and I still worry about money and what will happen to deplete that buffer, meaning I'm back to square one again. It all seems a bit too good to be true right now.
But it's completely different from the stress and anxiety of not having that buffer, worrying about dipping into your savings is world's apart from worrying about bailiffs knocking at the door and the gas and electric being cut off.

I don’t think it’s fair that people are being criticised for not being poor enough for this thread. If someone has £71 but owes £187 then they are in debt. Having 71p would be worse but really, is it worth making a point here? It will put people off posting.

@Flyinggeese1234 but also having savings as a back up for emergencies etc is not being skint

Are you single with two children? Or two adults and a child? I think if you are single with two children you would be better off on UC.

@monicagellerbing OK but I do think it’s unfair to make that judgement. It’s hard enough being your own version of skint without it being policed.