The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

Saying no to the kids when the ice cream van turns up in street,it sucks big time

It makes perfect sense. High house prices are caused by the same factor that is one of the key drivers of poverty: insufficient supply of housing stock due to deliberate government policy, meaning there is no social housing for those that need it, people have to pay a greater proportion of their income as rent to private landlords, and fewer people can buy their own homes.

The same factors also help to keep the government in power because people vote Tory to protect the value of their property wealth, and the fear of what might happen if that wealth is threatened is greater due to the lack of a safety net.

Yes I remember when I was working at Asda one Christmas Eve. Our rented house was covered in black mould. Our youngest daughter was Already ill with a genetic disorder. We had no money whatsoever and my sister friends came through the checkout with 2 overflowing trollies with food.
it was a horrible feeling because I knew neither of them worked and here I was on Christmas Eve, my husband also put working hard and we couldn’t even afford a pint of milk.
its hard and i completely understand.

Inequality and poverty in UK are getting worse but putting uk in same category as third world countries is as bad as the shitty misunderstanding and lack of compassion OP and others are highlighting. Unless:
Most women in uk travel several miles to collect water and firewood every day
Over 50% of households have no electricity connection
Most kids don't go to school because there is no school near, they can't afford food, have no clothes
A significant number of women die in childbirth because not only have they lived all their lives with poor nutrition but because the hospital lacks basic facilities like clean water and medicines
Most men spend the entire day petty trading or manually tiling fields without eating anything and still make too little to feed their families
I could go on and on. If you dont want horse owning 3 holidays abroad a year mnetters comparing their struggles with yours then dont but uk in same category as third world countries

I hate having to say no to my DD constantly. She’s a teenager and has had such a tough few years, with awful mental health issues. Just once, I’d love to be able to hand over some cash and say off you go kiddo, go and enjoy yourself. Instead I’m constantly telling her I can’t afford it whenever she asks for anything. Poor kid deserves better

Thing is, the rich/even middle class couldn't give a shit. They couldn't care less if you and your kids are poor/hungry/ desperate.

Government hand outs are supposed to keep you poor and desperate.

Need to revolt

The problem is that every time there is a report about poverty on the BBC they seem to interview a mother with 3 kids and one on the way complaining about poverty.
So it just pisses ordinary people off.

No this government wants to build more houses because home owners tend to vote Tory

But everytime they try the Nimbys threaten to vote LibDem so they can't.

@Cocksandrubbers

Please contact a Credit Union. They will be able to help you.

Oh, yes - the shame from having to pay with a big handful of coppers, because you do not have any other money whatsoever available

This is a bit convoluted but - banks will give out the plastic money bags, if you can fill one with coins most local shops will give you a note for a bag of change and be glad of it.

I realise this means you need to have £1 in just 1p or 2p coins and is no help if you have £1 in mixed coins.

Another thing I found recently - but you need internet access and time is that some coins are worth more than their face value.

Obviously you have to be able to sell the coin and if you need that 50p coin to buy something it doesn't matter that it is worth £5 or even £50.

Yep.waking up with that doom feeling.every single day.and it lingers over everything.never ceasing.but sometimes it rolls over you in big shaking overwhelm and you just want to crawl into a ball and sob.
Feeling of despair all the time.no let up.
Stress and fight or flight over the next thing to need to pay for.
And like not being here couldn t really be worse could it?if life is this how can you possibly go on.
I.get.it.
I'm sorry op and all others who've shared.im just so dam sorry.
If there's any way you can keep going,keep fighting,finding small chinks of okayness please do your worth it.

The problem is that every time there is a report about poverty on the BBC they seem to interview a mother with 3 kids and one on the way complaining about poverty.
So it just pisses ordinary people off.

Because ordinary people have maximum 2 kids? Isn't it more that families with more children are more likely to be in poverty?

You know how people say once you've had the fear it never leaves you? You can also inherit it. To a less intense degree, sure, but you can.
I've never had 'no money' in the sense some people here are describing. I've had very precarious, budgeting very carefully time - still precarious to some degree - but not choosing between food and electricity. However, my mother grew up in absolute poverty, and my father, whilst his family were very middle-class, grew up in a country were supply chains were constantly disrupted by war, government coups, blackouts, etcs. I inherited the fear, the constantly looking over the shoulder, checking every transaction, extreme difficulty in spending more than the absolute minimum on anything. Of course its not the same degree as so many have said on this thread, I do have the knowledge at some level that if one thing goes wrong its not a complete disaster. Things I do are donate to food banks via shopping, donate reward points, add pet food and essentials to donations so more families can keep their pets, vote as far left as possible, and write to MPs. What else can we do to help? I'd be horrible at the offering to pay lie suggestion because I'm terrible at lying, even for good.

I could have cried last night over bloody asparagus! I was reading in the garden and overheard my neighbour say to her husband 'I got some really nice chicken breasts and asparagus today so shall I make that nice pasta?' It's been so hot and I've just been wanting some salad or veggies but I can't buy anymore and have been stretching out a cucumber, lettuce and tomatos for my kids. I have a bit of frozen mixed veg and broccoli left I'm cooking today for father's day with reduced pukka pies. but we're eating so I'm not complaining! Also just annoying things, we have a disposable bbq from last summer and some burgers in the freezer but I literally have 68p in my bank so can't buy any buns!

It's my mum's birthday as well and I've regifted her a £1 bottle of bubble bath, £1 bottle of shower gel and an unopened lipgloss. it's fucking shit.

Also come on my period again ( suspected endometriosis and only finished 8 days ago, and that one lasted 26 days!). I have eight pads for today until my carers allowance goes in tomorrow so hope they last. Luckily my hospital appointments come after payday else I wouldn't be able to afford the petrol or parking to get there.

I do agree with this- it’s dreadful that that is the response but the media is awful for showing a certain ‘type’ of poor person. Generally as you said it’s the seemingly entitled mother of four who wants a bigger council house but still gets her hair and nails done weekly.
While these people do exist obviously and should still have support they need to show the reality that people on this thread face. Where getting your nails done is an impossibility, phoning in sick from work because you can’t afford petrol.

The worst thing is the fear, the fear of ultimately losing your home and the terrible toll on your mental health.

@Harrystylestutu

It goes on and on doesn't it?

Mind you, don't feel bad about the burger buns - I prefer burgers (though not fond of them anyway) without the buns. Keep a keen eye out at the supermarkets as they often have these things like burger buns going cheap and you can freeze them.

Particularly bad about the period thing. I remember that (not endomyetrius) just normal period and having to use my Boots points to get a pack of pads and on days I did not quite have enough I had to buy the real cheapo ones that I had to use two at a time so false economy!

Your children asking you when you will be going food shopping.

Things are better for me now but I will never ever forget the feeling of being really really poor with no foreseeable way out.

We used to raid the skips behind the fruit and veg shop on a Sunday for anything that had not been sold the day before.

My washing machine broke and couldn't get credit for a new one (blacklisted address in the 90s) or afford repairs so spent a small fortune and hours in the launderette with the things I couldn't wash by hand.

Not being able to go to external training sessions at work as I couldn't afford the travel to the venue up front. Not being able to get a landline phone (pre-mobile) due to the black listed address and having to do all calls from a phone box. The feeling of dread if you were on hold as you didn't have another 10p left to extend the call.

Feeling really unwell but not going to the Dr as you couldn't afford the prescription anyway.

Things improved for me eventually, the biggest game changer was when family credit was changed to tax credits in the early 00's. I used to qualify for £24 a week on family credit but when working family tax credits came in I was suddenly entitled to £90 a week. I remember crying with the sheer relief that things would start to get better

This makes me so mad!

It costs between £800 to £4k per week (and some time a lot more) to have a child in care, let alone the damage cause by having a child removed.

I can relate to so many of these. For many years I would pay with coppers at the Tesco self-service till. I would also put through a coupon or two as I found that any coupon would go through against any product, so I could save up to £2 a time on my shopping. I constantly scanned the floor for coins & used to change the DC's nappies in the Tesco toilet as they provided free nappies. And I was queen of yellow stickers.

Thankfully, for us, things have improved as DH & I now both have jobs & we actually have enough money. I will never forget the hard times, though.

In case it helps anybody - if you have a library nearby, do use it. Most will offer various sessions for adults & kids (craft, Scrabble, knit & natter, IT lessons & more), or you can just browse & save using the power at home for half an hour! There is also free PC use, internet access & wifi. At the village branch I work at, we offer free refreshments with lots of our sessions, donation welcome if you can & newspapers to read. And it may stop you feeling socially isolated, at least for a short while.

In case it helps anybody - if you have a library nearby, do use it. Most will offer various sessions for adults & kids (craft, Scrabble, knit & natter, IT lessons & more), or you can just browse & save using the power at home for half an hour! There is also free PC use, internet access & wifi. At the village branch I work at, we offer free refreshments with lots of our sessions, donation welcome if you can & newspapers to read. And it may stop you feeling socially isolated, at least for a short while.

Yes! Libraries are such a precious resource, and moreover, if people don't use them, councils have more justification for taking them away. If you follow CILIP (the professional library association) on Twitter, you will see how many essential services they provide.

Your children asking you when you will be going food shopping.

Yes, you can't blame little ones for not understanding; but for so many people, the assumption is that you haven't been shopping because you haven't had time or just not been bothered.

So many retailers' advertising campaigns work on the basis that, if they give you a tempting enough offer, you will succumb and buy from them. They either don't have a clue or just consider the poor as 'wastage' in their attempts to mass-market to their potential customer base.

Asda send out an email every Friday with the subject line saying something like "Stop scrolling - your offers are here!" I can only think that they assume everybody has spare money every week that they're desperate to spend on any old thing and are furiously trying to find a way to do so, but are too stupid to know how to spend money unless somebody actively tells them what they should buy.

It reminds me of that old documentary from many years ago, which showed Michael Jackson in the big, gold-dripping, rich man's souvenir emporium. The shop owner would point to another gaudy monstrosity, say "What about this?", Michael would give his assistant the nod to take it and you could actually see the shop owner rubbing his hands together.

Even all of the 'aren't we caring' emails asking if you want to opt out of emails for Mothers' or Fathers' Day are nasty and cynical. They couldn't care less about upsetting you - if they did, they wouldn't target you in the first place with such an obviously-triggering email. It's just their way of preventing people who find Mothers' Day upsetting from reacting by unsubscribing from ALL of their marketing.

Having said that, even if MD/FD are not upsetting for you per se for the understandable reasons, it's much easier to ignore other marketing that's targeted at you treating yourself when you have no money than messages saying "You know your Dad deserves a treat - show him that you really love him" by spending money that you simply do not have.

See I disagree with this. Would it be better if privileged people did nothing to raise awareness? I don’t think they can win.

I still feel great sadness for the time when, as a child, we went as a family to a concert by somebody I was a huge fan of. Our DPs were self-employed, so income fluctuated quite dramatically, although our DPs did their best to shield us from the effects of this whilst we were young. I now have a much better understanding of how scary things must have been in lean times for our long-gone DM & DF.

They'd booked the tickets months in advance, when money wasn't quite so tight, but then, come the date of the concert, things had taken a dive again. I begged and begged and begged for a concert programme, with Dad saying that they were too expensive. I assumed he was just being (very unusually) tight and eventually wore him down so much that he bought me one.

It's weird, because I treasure that programme now; but at the same time, I feel a burning shame that, with all of the essentials that our DPs were clearly struggling to buy at that time, I guilted them into spending money that they couldn't spare on something as silly as a souvenir booklet.