The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

For me the absolute worse thing is failing as a mother.

when dd was younger we were on the bones of our arse. We managed to pull ourselves out of this and were ok.

how quickly everything can change.
DP has been made redundant- without a 64k payoff and now we have nothing. We exist in the loosest terms on my salary alone.

my lowest point recently was when dd15 won a £20 amazon voucher at school for hard work. Unknown to us until just the other day she sold this to a friend to pay for her younger brother to go on his school trip to the zoo and have money for the gift shop.

I have never cried so much. The first thing on our list is to replace that voucher. I don’t care how long it takes me.

fuck this life

See I disagree with this. Would it be better if privileged people did nothing to raise awareness? I don’t think they can win.

I think it's the gimmick and the making the photo opportunity all about him that rankles for me. Why could he not have gone out with a camera crew and focused on the people for whom that is their lived reality?

It isn't actually the transaction of selling the magazine that is the difficult part: it's the power imbalance, the stigma, the hatred, threats and abuse that many people will show you and knowing that it isn't just a university rag week-style 'round of applause for whoever can sell the most' but you're actually depending on every sale you can get to afford your basic essentials.

I doubt that Louis Theroux is particularly hard up, but he always manages to use his own fame and reputation to draw the viewers in, before then putting his subjects in the spotlight, allowing them to tell their own story.

Or even that families of all income brackets have all sorts of different numbers of kids, but they seek out the ones to interview that will piss people off to shore up the narrative.

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

No this government wants to build more houses because home owners tend to vote Tory

But everytime they try the Nimbys threaten to vote LibDem so they can't.

What has this government done that makes you believe that? How did they try?

....I also think that there's a massive difference between, say, a Blue Peter presenter getting in with the poor to shed a light on their challenges and a member of the royal family. When the raison d'etre of your life is to live in obscene wealth, so completely removed from anything that ordinary people could ever dream of, I think it leaves a nasty taste to even attempt to pretend that you care or understand.

Same with all the climate lecturing when you just assume that none of these tiresome 'little people' sacrifices could ever apply to you, because you are so very special.

@letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 *
*
As regards benefits - this is my situation WITH working tax credit, single person reduction in council tax, warm homes

Have a look at changing over to universal credit. After getting my WTC stopped because apparently they'd overpaid me, their fault not mine, i was going to receive no money from them at all for 3 months so I tried claiming UC and ended up better off. A close friend recently had the same and was much better off when she changed over.

UC gets so much bad publicity, but I think if you work you end up better off.

@captainjacksparrow , no way have you failed as a mother! Your daughter's selfless actions speak volumes about how you have absolutely succeeded as a mother

The worst thing about having no money is it's so bloody expensive. Life is so much cheaper when you have housing and financial security.

Definitely. And whilst what William did was sweet, it was quite cringey. I mean, he was going back to a cottage (eg practically a mansion) that most people couldn’t afford. Able to put on the heating with abandon, stuffed fridge and cupboards. I don’t know if they have servants but maybe. With Kate being praised for ‘recycling’ a £4k dress that she wore once 3 years ago! Not cool.

I don’t know if they have servants but maybe

Lol

@Hedgesfullofbirds thank you - that made me cry again.

she is incredible no doubt but my god it hurts that she had to prove it like this.

I don’t think I will ever be able to repay her to be honest. Her actions are so great she’s deserves the world

You have not failed as a mother. To have raised a child who can give so selflessly is a huge achievement. Please would you DM me your email address?

Wasn't it the Tories who gave local home owners a veto on any new development? If anyone's in the pocket of NIMBYs it's the Tories.

Doubtful I’m in debt with them too.

Well the other thing I don't get is this protecting the value of your property. I own my own house outright, if the value of that house fell it would make absolutely zero difference to my living standards, also, I would have lost nothing, my house would still be exactly the same. If I moved sideways, it would benefit me as the house I was buying would also have fallen in value so I'd have less stamp duty, estate agent fees etc to pay. If I was moving up it would also benefit me as the gap in value would be reduced. I suppose you could argue that if a downsize I would be worse off but I have three children and if they wanted to buy a house they'd be less likely to need me to give them a massive great deposit.

For people in my situation (which is an awful lot of people) any perceived harm suffered from a loss in value of your home is illusory, we suffer zero actual harm. I know its different if you've just taken on a big mortgage.

Thanks for the last link. I'm now in a position to make a donation and support initiatives like this. I will never forget the struggles we had - my daughter crying because I couldn't pay her school fund donation and "everyone will know we're poor!"

My son on the other hand told his teacher that it wasn't compulsory- she told him that the school liked people to pay. His answer was that he'd like the school to give him £5 but that wasn't going to happen either (his form teacher told me this at parents evening.

I did pay the £15 for the three of them the following month when my student loan can in

@Libre55 a very kind poster has already offered to replace the voucher.

to say we are all sobbing here is an understatement although dd is trying to style it out as it’s “not cool” for a teenager to show emosh….

I want to stress I did not post to beg. I wanted to share solidarity with everyone else and have a rage about life.

I am so deeply touched by the kind offer however and when life is brighter I will be paying it forward

And as for people going on about how we're the 6th richest economy in the world, well per capita we're 36 and there are 17 countries in Europe whose citizens are better off than us. Even that position of 17 is misleading though as the UKs wealth is more concentrated amongst the rich than lots of other countries.
I really hate what the Tories have done and the poverty and division they've created.

I remember the grinding worry. People either not getting it or treating you differently because of it.

How raising a child completely by yourself and paying for everything by yourself can be missed is beyond me. At my most upset when I couldnt afford a friends go away bachelorette weekend I found that strangers understood it better than friends.

You miss out on so much when you have to budget to the penny.

It's never left me. I'm scared of being in that position again but older.

Someone has mentioned credit unions which is valid but you've got to save with them first before you get a loan. If you haven't got anything left you cannot save.

Someone has mentioned credit unions which is valid but you've got to save with them first before you get a loan. If you haven't got anything left you cannot save.

I may be being unfair or misinterpreting things here, but it seems to me that there are various schemes - and quite a lot of public support in general - for helping out those who are struggling a little bit or who have temporarily fallen on hard times; however, there is little provision of patience for those who have absolutely nothing, had nothing yesterday and will have nothing tomorrow. They're far too complicated - much easier to just turn the other way and pretend they don't exist.

It's the same with health - ironic, really, as ongoing poor health is a very key factor in a lot of poverty. If you're lucky enough to generally enjoy excellent health, the one time when you get ill and need a week off work, employers will often be very sympathetic. If, on the other hand, you have chronic pain/medical conditions/low level of health - quite possibly your standard level of health is worse than the level necessitating your colleague's week off work - you learn that 'sick days' are not really a luxury open to you, unless you're practically dead, as people have no patience, no sympathy, will 'other' you and often just be looking to offload you as a liability.

THIS! I completely agree with this.

@HardRockOwl also trying to figure out how to msg you! I'm not sure if I can using the app.

In the hope that it helps even one person. You do not have to be religious and you can be anonymous from donors. Bikes, school trips, white goods...
acts435.org.uk/how/our-impact

Hi everyone,
Just a reminder to be mindful when sharing any personal details :-)

My kids' paddling pool has popped this afternoon, I have £4 in my bank so can't even get them a new one. Sometimes I wish I was just dead. This is too hard