The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

Also remembering paying by bankcard for shopping and then rushing to the ATM to withdraw the cash .
Back when it wasn't instant.

We're fortunate enough here in Ireland you can get back to school clothing allowance.
I should get about €700 next month.
But that will barely get them to school buts it's a start.

Especially all the smug "high earners" who come on here going on about ponies and the like.

@HardRockOwl gosh what a beautiful gesture-thank-you! I'd love a box if you've any please I'm just trying to figure out how to message you from my phone app...

Third world country?! 🙄

I heard somebody on the radio the other day talking about the poverty in the UK and the term 'class war'. It's always characterised and being started by the poor waging a war on the rest of us and never the other way around. Austerity policies (thought to have killed something like 150,000 people) and the cuts to public services are never seen as the rich waging a class war on the poor.

Apparently Warren Buffet has said that if there's a class war, it was started by the rich, and the rich are winning.

The OP said she lives on disability benefits so a live in job is not possible.

Plus what happens to your house when you are live in? It only works if you own your own home, some would have to give up the security of a council or housing association property and what happens when the live in job ends?

Meanwhile in the UK in 2022 children are being taken into care because of rising poverty.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61669939

Which is so wrong, on top being poor, rip the family apart too. it’s like being demonised just for not being rich. It must be ‘cheaper’ and certainly better to improve benefits/housing/minimum wage or have a universal income anything to stop this.

Politicians really do need to live on basic benefits for at least a year to understand what everyday life is like for far too many. Maybe then there would be a will to change things and everyone would benefit. (I know, never going to happen)

I also it when people who have been skint for a period in their lives but have a get out claim to understand poverty. Due to significant mental health issues I spent about 5 years on the breadline. Living hand to mouth. Selling cheap cigarettes and not able to eat until I sold a pack, bin surfing and running away from security men. BUT I am privileged I have parents who would be able to lend me £50 to pay a bill, I would always pay them back but I had that safety net. Also this was prekids so a different thing altogether.
I am terrified what next winter holds for so many. We need some anger. We need those that have the energy to fight to do it now. Not just for this country but for the whole world. 10000s of people are going to starve and freeze to death while the richest 5% get richer.

You are not alone in this position, don't feel embarrassed, and be open with your friends about your position. Things will get better.

I really don't want to put a downer on what you said, but this often isn't as straightforward as all that. I've found from bitter experience that being honest with friends about being poor has led to (well-meaning) patronising suggestions and (again, possibly not intentional) judgement. Then, as PP have said, if you do ever manage to buy a very rare small treat, you feel judged all over again - and it's automatically assumed that you have a 'habit' doing it; tell them the truth and they'll just think that you're in denial or too stupid to realise what you're 'actually' doing.

Unfortunately, as this thread has made it crystal clear, a great many comfortably-off people equate poverty with stupidity - and their way of 'helping' will be to come up with lots of 'helpful tips' that they genuinely think you've never thought of before.

There's a worthy truth to the idea of the old 'give a man a fish/teach a man to fish' saying; but if you've been fishing all of your life and your rod suddenly breaks, it's not actually helpful at all if somebody sees you without any fish, makes assumptions and just arranges a free 'learn basic fishing' course for you, before toddling away, smugly chuffed at how amazingly they've just transformed your life.

I grew up very poor. I don't remember how poor but I know from speaking to my DH that it was poor. He says I make it sound like the poverty in Dickens.

I don't really remember being poor though. My Dad didn't work for years after being made bankrupt. My mum couldn't work due to a health condition that led to her death.

My maternal GPs used to buy us meat. I was on FSM. We lived in a council house. My parents used to sell any good toys we had. (Were given as gifts to us by other people). Our Christmas decorations were made out of cardboard. My mum used to remake her clothes into clothes for my sister and I

We didn't have central heating

Then after my Dad remarried we had years of housing insecurity my SM used to drink and drink. Thousands of pounds went down her throat.

I do get it. I'm comfortable now but the fear of losing your home never goes away. I feel guilty all the time.

I also very clearly remember taking advantage of the slowness of cheques to get to the end of the month: mentally calculating the earliest opportunity the payee would have to pay it in and then adding on the days for it to clear.

Like with direct debits, progress and improvements in efficiency can often in practice mean throwing the poor under the bus. It's the same with direct-to-your-bank payments of benefits: yes, it's more straightforward, but if you're already overdrawn (unauthorised) and somebody gives you cash, you aren't then compelled to use it to pay down part of your overdraft rather than spend it on food for your kids.

I got paid today and have a grand total of 58p left in my account.

I am on a pre pay meter for gas and electric topped up £20 today and have £16 after the debt was taken it will not last a week.
I managed to spend £30 on food for my dc, so I guess I won’t be eating this week and I have two new secondary school uniforms to buy before August costing a total of £800.

I'm in £2500 rent arrears for the first time in my life and it’s terrifying me as I have never missed a rent payment before covid happend, I just don’t know what to do anymore and my sister as much as I love her doesn’t have a clue, she lives with her partner who brings in thousands a week with their dd and are off on their second holiday within 2 months, keeps asking me to go out on really expensive days, I’m a single parent and just can’t do it.

I feel like crying everyday and have been Googling for the last 2 hours how to make money quick. I feel so sorry for my dc, this isn’t the life I wanted for them as it was the life I had and hated it.

@ElephantsFart I don't mean to come across as patronising. Neither am I privileged.
The worst thing about not having any money is the feeling that you have no choices. That you are locked in your situation with no way out. I know this from experience.

In my experience is never a bad idea to think outside the box. I'm not an eco - warrior, but I hate waste and like to feel I'm in control of my own destiny and doing something worthwhile in my own little way.

I understand something like this annoys people and I understand. Definitely don't recommend this lifestyle to anyone. But I also don't think it's forbidden to discuss different ways of living, because there are so so many different ways.

Even with the best intentions it’s really odd how life can turn out. Unexpected deaths, illness, relationship breakdowns and job loss can hit anyone.

One societal aspect is the very large rise since the early 1970’s of single person households.

And yet at the same time as this rise in poverty, cost of living marches in London today, house prices have been rocketing. I don't get it.

Even with the best intentions it’s really odd how life can turn out. Unexpected deaths, illness, relationship breakdowns and job loss can hit anyone.

Yes - and then, if it emerges that they didn't have multiple insurances, that's taken as proof positive that they're stupid and all sympathy vanishes.

Leaving aside the fact that those with compromised health often simply cannot buy what others will smugly insist is 'an essential that only a fool would be without', is it really so hard to understand that, when every penny counts, people are going to use what money they have to pay for today rather than to protect the tomorrow that they may never see anyway?

Yeap, totally understand, its crap i remember in the past i worked full time during the day, 2 nights a week in a local late supermarket 8pm-midnight, 2 nights a week in a pub I did this as a one parent family for 2 years to pay my mortgage and bills , this was when mortgage rates hit 16.5%. i didnt have a choice it was that or lose my home i had no where else to go. I got rid of everything that was a luxury, hair cuts, odd bottle of wine, bars of chocolate, i cut everything to the bone, treated the work nights in the pub as a night out, it eventually paid off, i think ,sorry to be a misery that things are going to be tough by Christmas, if you keep your head above water be proud !

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll you are right. Sadly those that have always had wealth only see protection for tomorrow as an investment and security blanket. They don’t see it as ‘impossible to pay for today’ or by ‘paying for that, means it’s another week of only one meal a day’. It’s not relatable to them. I’m not sure they want to see the reality.

My goodness I hope you get something sorted soon. This sounds so frustrating and stressful. Have you got any support? Citizens Advice or Shelter might be able to guide you towards some temporary help and also how best to deal with your rent arrears.....
With regards food could you access a foodbank in the next day or two for yourself? sometimes the TooGoodToGo app provides some real help via magic bags? Hope you find some support somewhere.

@Cocksandrubbers that's so sad, can you get to a Foodbank? Some need referals and others don't and they're mainly run by faith groups. In my area, there are community kitchens where people can get support and advice as well as a free meal.

Are you claiming everything that you're entitled to?

www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

capuk.org/

Contact Christians against poverty who'll help you regarding your debt areas. You don't have to be a Christian to access their service, they help everyone.

Citizens advice bureau debt advice

Don't fall for quick dodgy money making schemes on the Internet, there are loads of scams around.

Can you sell any old clothes/household stuff on Facebook, marketplace etc to make some quick cash?

www.timewisejobs.co.uk/jobs/ - lots of flexi remote jobs advertised on here. I've just applied for a 2 day remote role, I work 3 days normally but need another job to manage the bills.

People have different levels of what they consider ‘no money’. For some it might be it enough money for meals/bus fares and others not enough for a new car or holiday. It’s the constant anxiety & pretending to be ok for the children.

"I can't do anything this weekend as I am totally skint"

"Oh I know what you mean, thank goodness its summer so I dont need to spend much on gas and electric"

"Yeah, we could only afford to save £500 this month"

"......................"

Thanks to a job I no longer do I have interview suitable clothing in 10/12/14 that I am happy to share if anyone needs it on the understanding that it is paid forward.

I wonder if we will see a sort of split economy. Where the economic environment for homeowners is quite removed from renters.