The worst thing about having no money

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

is after a hard week at work you look at your bank balance and not only have you no money but you are overdrawn you can't go out and enjoy yourself or even buy yourself a tiny treat or buy any food without worrying about being in debt, you don't know how you're going to pay the electricity bill and any bit of joy or creativity has been sapped out of you you feel anxious and overwhelmed most of the time and you are so tired so tired you can't get dressed and you can't stop crying at everything

Oh gosh I thought I was the only one in this position. I was complaining to myself that I can’t even take my children out even to go and drive around because I’m scared of finishing fuel in the car because I have to drive to work. I work 3/4 nights a week and sometimes 5 so I can just get a bit more money to cover all my bills but the tax man just takes even more and leaves me with less.

I’ve absolutely no idea (never been that ‘lucky’ - I’m the £9.50 ph schmuck who does the work so they can get mega bucks) . I know my boss has just settled an unfair redundancy amongst other claims and has been paid off a figure substantially higher than that. Not that he was anywhere near poor to start with - so yes I do get your point about finding it hard to believe.
To return to that post though- I did wonder if they went from having a huge income combined, to one, and that adjustment meant a very rapid descent into poverty? That happened a lot during past recessions and more recently during lockdown.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 I assumed the redundancy covered the debt? So they were back to zero debt.

Possibly if they were earning an awful lot prior to redundancy or they got a very, very generous package, well above the legal statutory amount. DH's redundancy package after 30 years with the same company was 20k short of his normal annual wage. My parents thought he would get a lot more than his annual salary and asked me at least 10 times if I was sure !

Completely understand op. It's so draining, so constant. I dread to think how we are going to copy come winter. I'm already sitting on the sofa in the dark because I'm thinking "best save the electric for the dc" I dont want them to worry but they are all teenagers so it wont take them long to figure it out. It's not fair they are children they shouldn't have grown up problems 😥

It shouldn’t be for anyone. The suggestion that people struggling with the cost of living should eat shitty old food from bins is offensive. EVERYONE should be able to afford to eat food that won’t make them ill. We live in a wealthy country.

It's the 'can't you just...' people that I can't stand as often the 'just' involves things they haven't even considered takes money 'can't you just go to ....." (train or bus fare to get to said place)
For me it was the relentlessness but the fear of change. If your benefit payment was slighy higher, the absolute terror of knowing they'll cut it lower when they realise, or it will take weeks to sort out. Also the expectation that you always have money to lay out first , expenses reimbursed rather than upfront for example. Also the lack of follow up "check with the school, they probably have 2nd hand uniform" then never thinking of it again, whilst the person then is even more desperate as they reached out and there was still no help. Watching other people have no concept of high price items still irritates me now, children who expect to eat a £3 punnet of blueberries as a snack

We are thankfully not in this position any more, but I remember it. You never forget it. Nobody should have to live like that as it takes such a toll on you mentally and physically.

I find it very difficult to reconcile the fact that money exists as a means to secure basic necessities but also exists as a means to procure luxuries. This effectively means that it is often seen as a less luxury vs more luxury thing whereas for many people it is something far more intense and precarious. That to me is wrong.

@ElephantsFart you make good points. However, I have been in poverty (Still not comfortable, but not on the breadline)
I understand the idea of skipping or using only second hand items seems repulsive to some, and initially it was for me too.

But there are many, many different ways to live this life on earth. It is sometimes valuable to challenge your own preconceived ideas about how things 'should' be, and you might find yourself moving in a different direction.

My aunt became a live-in carer in her late 50s for a few years. She managed to pull herself out of debt and save a bit for retirement. Also fixed up her house, that she's now selling since she needs money again, being nearly 70.

I fully furnished my rented house with free cycle stuff after divorce and being on my own with 2 kids. There was nothing that I could not find for free. Second hand microwave, washing machine, sofa, beds, dining table.. Everything still in working order 5 years later.

No one should have to dig in bins to find food. Of course not! You can write your mp and choose wisely when you vote. Plus the op has said she doesn't want advice, so I don't advice anyone to try my lifestyle.

Just wanted to share an experience of a very low budget living. I love watching videos on YouTube about zero waste and - cost living so I do recommend that 😉Good for the environment too of course!

It worked out as about 1k for every year worked.

Yes, would vary depending on contract. As I said my (now) ex boss got a very large pay off. Based on years worked would be roughly £3-4K per year. A lot higher than the posters’ £65k.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 From the government website - The maximum amount of statutory redundancy pay is £17,130 (£16,980 in Northern Ireland)

That is if you have worked for the maximum of 20 years with the same employer.

I have to watch the spending carefully. I use community fridges (google it and see if there’s one near you) every week. They an anti food waste projects in local communities and anyone can go and get free food. It varies from week to week and a bit of freezer space is useful as everything is out of date on the day.
our local town has repair cafes/sessions where you can take something broken along and a volunteer will help to fix it.
I use Freecycle and freegle a lot

i sell everything we no longer need on Facebook, ebay or Vinted it really helps

@StickyFingeredWeeNed ay 21:25
@Alphabet1spaghetti2 From the government website - The maximum amount of statutory redundancy pay is £17,130 (£16,980 in Northern Ireland)

That is if you have worked for the maximum of 20 years with the same employer

there you sticky!!

@Wrongkindofovercoat thank you. As I said every contract is different and agree with you, some people negotiate higher levels of redundancy (and other grievances possibly??)

Argh! There you go @StickyFingeredWeeNed and thank you @Wrongkindofovercoat for providing what I couldn’t answer.

Do you not get that for some people in this country it might as well be a third world country (loathsome term btw, and yes I do know the origin). If you are missing meals and living in unsafe conditions you are probably living in greater poverty than millions and millions of people in the developing world.

I would hazard a guess that second hand everything and discounted food is the reality for most of us on this thread, and has been for some time. For you it’s a lifestyle choice.

Your local environmental health officer will tell you that skipped food is a big food poisoning risk, it’s not a ‘preconceived idea.’ It’s why responsible food businesses lock their skips at night. If you’re really an eco warrior you’d hold the supermarket to account for their poor food waste policy.

I’m going to bow out now because this was intended as a supportive thread but I find your posts privileged and patronising.

For me,.I'm guilty of overspending and realising oh pickles, but I try to leverage what I can , I make sure gas and electricity covered etc, then go to basic budget mode of essentials only, sometimes I borrow a small amount if necessary, then leverage other necessary items.

@StickyFingeredWeeNed I’m not sure you read the post correctly. Really unfair sneering at the poster like that.

This is vulgar 😵 sorry but who the fuck needs a new bathroom every 2 years!

terrible for the environment and hideously self serving.

I'm so so angry for you, no person who goes out to work to earn a living should be struggling like this, absolutely no one. I can't believe that people are struggling to this extent today, wages just don't in any way seem to reflect the cost of living.

When other people tell you about their next holiday or weekend away and you know they've already had several this year and you can't go anywhere at all...

@justnow2022

I can’t speak for anyone else (and I’m not complaining, because I have options) but I live on about about £14k plus child benefit. There is now no widow’s pension after 18 months, and I qualify for no benefits. Even things like FSM would help a bit. My business (which brought in £50k pre-covid) has assets in my personal name, so I am over the savings threshold. I can sell them, but then I have no hope of building it up again.

I understand about not using food banks. My kid knows we are poor atm, but I hope she will never know how much of a struggle this time has been. I’m trying to keep her food the same as usual, if nothing else. Fortunately, she isn’t an expensive child to feed. Pasta, beans on toast and mash feature heavily in her favourites! I’m living off the contents of the freezer, and thanking my stars I bought quality things that have lasted (privilege I’m fully aware of) and hoping for better times.

Being cold is the worst thing for me. The cold snaps in late spring were horrible this year. I don’t mind not going out, no haircuts or wine, not having new clothes or not buying big ticket things. I felt if I had a warm house, library books, a hot bath and home cooked steak and chips on a Saturday night, I was lucky. Being cold at home, giving up my baths and no longer eating meat feels like I’ve dropped from ‘we didn’t have much money, but we were happy’ to ‘just scraping by’. So I think I have to sell. I can’t put DD through a winter like that if there are other options, it wouldn’t be fair. I’m not sure I can face it myself, although I think I’ll regret not toughing it out. It’s a stupid short term financial decision.

I wish there was a way that if someone I knew needed a bit of help they could say.

Even if I knew them as part of an interview panel like described in a PP.

PP I'd have printed out that CV for you.

Other PPs do you have a Smartworks or Dress for Success near you? They might be able to help out with interview clothing and a capsule wardrobe

OP please check out the Smallwood Trust and go to your library to refer to a copy of grants for individuals.

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 It really is. It's exacerbated by the fact that pretty much all my family and the friends I did have are so incapable of comprehending it. 🥲

• justnow2022 So sorry to hear all the stories. What income do you have that you cannot afford simple things like a coffee or a day out? It is difficult to believe this happens in the UK.*

It's simple maths-our costs are just and I do mean only just covered every month. There just is no disposable income for luxuries or things like coffee trips out. It's little get together s with friends for an hour or too I miss most-it's so isolating .