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Have you ever had a few awful years then life became amazing again?

80 replies

winegumwinney · 16/06/2022 18:42

Sound like a daft question but have you ever gone through a dark, really miserable time that you thought you'd never recover from, then boom, suddenly all the bad stuff that happened started to make sense and life became really amazing again out of the blue ? Please tell me your happy endings?

OP posts:
wordlewordle · 17/06/2022 07:41

NC for this

5 years ago within the space of 6 months -

My DF died at 65 four months after cancer diagnosis (less than a year after DH and I got married), my grandfather died a month later, wedding and engagement rings were stolen from work the following month (I know who did it but can't prove it - very small office), then my FIL was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer and died within 4 weeks. I could not support my DH as was embroiled in a mess of probate (I was my own DF's executor and things were messy to put it mildly) and the grief was too raw.

DH and I also stupidly decided to train for a marathon to raise money for our DFs' hospices (race was abroad and 7 months after my DF died) and rather than just aim to get around the course we were training for sub-3 and sub-4 hour times respectively, putting our bodies under immense strain while our hearts and heads were split apart.

The final nail in the coffin was our beloved 5year old cat getting hit by a car and killed, 2 months after we lost FIL and a month before the marathon.

I was signed off work a few months later. The silver lining was my own DF's death made me do a 180 about having a child, just in time (I was 37), and I had our little girl at 38 (pregnancy was shit, 1:19 chance of downs so I had a CVS to rule it out at 14 weeks). She's now almost 4 - very healthy and happy and no downs - and has been immensely healing for the whole family.

I had also been in a soul-sucking job for 12 years at that point, money was good but it gave me no purpose and was really bringing me down. Started volunteering for a MH charity when I went back to said job after mat leave. Was then discriminated against for going PT by one particular difficult partner and left with a large settlement, but thinking I'd never work again as I hated the kind of work I was doing so didn't want to go into the same kind of role. I was 40.

Then somehow I was hired as a paid employee by the MH charity and I've progressed to the role of my dreams (within the charity) 18 months later through love (for what I do) and lots of hard work!

We have also moved to our dream forever home in the country and now live near family, DD is thriving, and we have made great friends with another family who also have one DD same age and the parents are same age as us so it's very easy to get together. Although my pay is way less than previous role, we no longer have a sky high London mortgage so life is more affordable and we have bags of space.

Very happy!

Wrongkindofovercoat · 17/06/2022 08:04

Still going through the awful years, weirdly, I am finding the consistently mildly shit years harder to deal with than the absolutely fucking awful 6 months I had prior to that.

Whitehorsegirl · 17/06/2022 08:11

I really hope so...

Because the last 6 years for me have been horrendous: endless health issues (several operations), not liking the jobs I had, being victim of ID fraud, being assaulted by a long term male friend and being unable to move out of London because of the cladding/fire safety scandal, death of a parent and choosing to go no contact with my relatives who refused to believe me when I finally openly talked about the abuse I received as I child.

Reads like a bad novel doesn't it.

Most of the above was not in my control to prevent but I am trying to make as many positive changes as I can in my life regardless.

Basilbrushgotfat · 17/06/2022 10:21

Ah, need this thread right now.

The last 4 years have been incredibly hard and I'm clawing my way out of them. Still have a road ahead but I have to believe I'll turn things around again.

slowcookerforone · 17/06/2022 10:36

I think I've resigned to the fact that my 40's have been just one horrible life event after another.
I'm optimistically hoping my 50's are when it all turns around and I have some relief from the turmoil.

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