Have you ever had a few awful years then life became amazing again?

[winegumwinney]

Sound like a daft question but have you ever gone through a dark, really miserable time that you thought you'd never recover from, then boom, suddenly all the bad stuff that happened started to make sense and life became really amazing again out of the blue ? Please tell me your happy endings?

I had a phase when I had teens, a toddler, full time job and an unrelenting series of elderly inlaws (my husband is a lot younger than his siblings) in hospitals across South East England.
I really now just look back on all of it and am grateful for the relative simplicity of my life now.

Four years of TTC, miscarriages, tests, medications, more tests, suffered from depression, a difficult high risk pregnancy and now my beautiful beautiful rainbow baby arrived.

a very dark cloud has lifted and I feel so so lucky and blessed. He is a joy and we are so thrilled to have him.

In the space of 3 months my relationship of 8 years ended resulting in homelessness, my grandad died and my dad died. I also changed job, the stress of which I could have done without at the time.

That experience was a catalyst for me to completely change my life. Met my lovely DH and totally changed my outlook.

Since then I’ve had some tough times - the day my grandad had a stroke, my FIL died and my SIL attempted suicide was a particularly grim highlight - but I know that these things are just blips and that I cans get through them.

I have a great life, a great job and live in my dream house. I also have some health difficulties but overall I’m very lucky and appreciate what I’ve got all the more because of the truly shit times.

Yes, I kept going by thinking, it’ll pass, this will get better. Job loss, the death of a child, dh’s nervous breakdown…severe bullying at work. We’d gone from happy normal to as low as you can.

now, there is light, it’s ok, we are good. Life can be unbearable and cruel, nut yo7 can get through it.

Yes I did. A few years ago I lost my grandmother and mother in 6 months. 8 weeks after losing my mum my on/off boyfriend and the man I thought I would end up with took his own life, 6 months after that so did my cousin who I was very close too.

I was devestated. Also in a job I hated and felt like life was the worst it could ever be.

I got some counselling and things began to improve. I got a new job I loved and I also bought a new flat. Three years later I met an incredible man and we are now married, with a gorgous home we bought together and we have an amazing baby. We've still been through some tough times in the last few years but honestly I don't think my life could get better. I am so happy. I miss those I lost every day but I see so much hope and joy in my life now too.

*very close too did as well

Yes.

Had multiple miscarriages, went to see a consultant privately who advised me I needed a laparoscopy and if no reason was found for the recurrent miscarriages then IVF would be my only option.

After each miscarriage I got more depressed. I went through a very dark time and contemplated suicide. I never told anyone around me quite how unhappy I was. I considered having treatment privately but luckily the NHS referred me for urgent surgery, so I had it within months. I had my surgery and within a few months I was pregnant again. At 6 weeks I had a scan and to my shock there was a heart beat. It took until I was 6 months pregnant before I accepted I might just bring a baby home. That baby is now a toddler with endless energy.

Things didn't get immediately better, but now my life is a complete 180 to what it was only a few years ago.

Yes! My marriage ended , then my next relationship ended really suddenly and floored me. Was living in a crap rented place with damp and was totally skint. Then got made redundant from a job I loved. 3 years on, I own my home, got a great new job and been promoted twice and dating someone who I adore.

You’ll get it, hang on in there 💕

I had 2 kids, with a partner who smoked weed and gambled, never had any money, living in an small rented house, working in a job that was stressful for little pay. He left me and shacked up with someone else and I was a single mother claiming benefits while working full time trying to hold my family together. It was such a dark time for me and if I didn't have my children I think I would of opted out of life. I could hardly cope day to day and I couldn't imagine my life being any better.
Fast forward 3 and a half years, I met my partner and we are getting married next year. We have a beautiful house that we have done major renovations on and it's now perfect, everything is brand new. I have a cleaner and lots of disposable income to treat the children. I moved jobs and earn alot more and more importantly appreciated for what I do. My life did a complete 360, but in my darker days I couldn't imagine this life now. All my friends and family are happy for me as they have seen me struggle a lot.

I had a very public psychotic breakdown and was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder... lost the career I'd worked hard for and was devastated by that but luckily my close friends stuck by me...

Now nearly ten years later I work part time in a hospital in a job I enjoy; I still have my close friends and family support; i also have a good mental health support network as I do get breakthrough symptoms of my illness despite being on medication.
Sadly Im not able to have a baby for several reasons and I'm not currently in a relationship. It was always my dream to have a family of my own.
I'm also very careful with men as I know I'm quite vulnerable.
I still get angry about what happened during my breakdown and think why me? But my life isn't too bad now... unless that's just my meds making me think that!!

Name changed for this. DF died of a brain tumour 6 months after diagnosis, the next year DH was diagnosed with cancer and the next year he had a massively bad reaction to chemo and almost died. DC were preschoolers and we were living abroad. Not fun.

5 years on, we live in a lovely home back in the UK and, touch wood, are relatively healthy.

I spoke to a counselor when DH was at death’s door and she said that whatever happens, human nature means people carry on and generally have hope. You also have to reframe what has happened and look at the good bits, eg cancer diagnosis abroad meant better treatment than here, ground breaking in fact. I know I can cope with anything after the few years I’ve had etc.

The main negative is that I have no time or patience, zero fucks, for malingerers and snowflakes and the young whingers at work who go off sick with the slightest thing and claim mental health difficulties when they’re having a tough day. Fuck that!!! We worked throughout all of the shit above - didn’t have much choice and it also gave us focus. I have no time for people who don’t help themselves!

yes. Had really dark period - huge work stresses - horrendous situation - suicidal thoughts.

years later have been promoted, moved into dream home, happy and confident.

life isn’t perfect - single, friendship issues etc etc. but pretty happy about life in general. Look back and can’t believe how awful my life was for a while. But it passed.

I had a severe breakdown in 2008, I'd say it took 8 to 10 years to get back to normal. I was just treading water hoping I'd die.

Not yet. I’m still in the shitstorm. I’ll get it sorted, but man it’s a battle!

@CthulhuInDisguise

This is so lovely. So sorry for your loss, i'm glad you've found happiness again with your Chapter 2.

Yep. Six year relationship which made me feel like shit. Didn't realise until I got out of it. Split up, did a postgrad course, got a better job, got my own house. Happier than I've ever been.

NC for this!

Mine is better than it was but still not great. In the last 6 years I’ve been through a horrible divorce, redundancy, no friends, stressful house move, having to buy a shithole house that’s become a money pit, very low-paid job and the worst heartbreak relationship of my life.

Things are looking up slightly as my mental health is better but I am still hardly earning anything and have settled for a not-ideal relationship.

I’m interested to know how people landed a good job suddenly?

a few years ago I was working a job I hated with a massive London commute, had an narc abusive partner then huge court case, non mol order against him, lost my home moved back in to my mums spare bedroom with my two kids and had nothing, fast forward and I now have an amazing job I love (loads more money and minimal commute) have a small home but it’s all ours and met the man of my dreams at 45 years old, I can’t believe it sometimes when I think of how broken and shattered I was just, I couldn’t see a way out, but life is good now and never give up hope, you never know what amazing things are waiting just round the corner for you…

I was alway a cup half full. Full of gratitude person. The last 8 years have been so hard I have-
Lost my dad to a debilitating illness.
Cared for gd on end of life.
Had a break down.
Supported ds through Sen diagnosis

Lost everything in a house fire.
Took on a dog that is expensive and hard work.

Yes.
Between 2009 - 2015.
Couldn't do anything right.
Could barely find employment. Had to deal with some horrible people.
Nothing went right.
After 2015 things got better. Mostly because I emigrated.

I’m re-emerging. Five years of failed fertility treatment, losing my mind on the meds, losing my sanity in resentment and grief. Finally had ds pre lockdown. Darling cat died few weeks late tour of the blue. The my Nan died. Then I had to go back to work because I couldn’t leave my little business to go under and so had to leave my ds for hours at a time at 3 months woth dh. 4 more failed transfers to give him a sibling. Nephew diagnosed with cancer. Major house renovation including having to sue one builder for an atrocious job
to recover 18k - so stressful. Recently discovered that my ds and I been at the end of secondary accidental exposure to testosterone leading to him being twice the size of a child his age. Now that the poison is out of my system I am just starting to land back in my body. I thought for a while I had become a hideous, nasty, broken person but the me and it is me is emerging from all this stress. I’m tentatively hopeful that life will continue to get better and I can allow myself to enjoy it.

2021 was the worst year of my life.

Realised I'd finally have to leave EXDP when I asked him about setting a date for our wedding (we'd been engaged 5 years already), and he said "maybe on our 10 year engagement anniversary".

Had a miscarriage at 11 weeks where the same EXDP (who was DP at the time), only offered me a lift to my D&C surgery because otherwise "I would make him look bad". Went to 7 hospital appointments across those dark 3 weeks (during which time he'd regularly accuse me of being lazy) either on the bus or got my lovely dad to drop me.

Sold house, transferred EXDP half the proceeds then he refused to pay proper maintenance for the 2 DC so I had to take him to CMS. I honestly wish I'd walked away with the lot, and waited for him take me to court over it.

I'm also having to take EXDP to mediation, and if that doesn't succeed to court, as he wants to see DC when he wants to see them, and is not interested in agreeing a regular schedule so that he can continue to control me and my time.

One DC has additional needs. Battled for DLA and EHCP, and they've now been offered a place at a moderate needs school with 24 DC per year group (8 in each class with 4 adults in each class) compared to the mainstream with support where it would be 90 DC per year group (30 in each class, with 2 adults in each class m).

Tried to buy a beautiful house with every penny I have, only for the vendor, an elderly lady to pull out after 7 months as she'd changed her mind and wanted to stay put. Now trying to buy another house which will hopefully go through before my incredibly cheap mortgage offer expires.

My boss retired and I went for his job as a promotion. From a field of over 50 applicants, I got down to the last 4, then lost out to an external "all-mouth, no trousers" strategic candidate, who is now my micromanaging, blame seeking manager. I've had to teach this person how to do the job, at times do the job them, while they collect a salary of £80k more than mine!

I have to believe better times are coming. I'd be broken and depressed if I didn't.

So, in my manifestations: the new house will complete shortly, DC will thrive in their new school environment, which although wasn't what I envisaged for their future, will be the best place to support their needs. EXDP will stop pissing about and finally agree to a proper contact schedule, and I will meet a new loving and caring man with his own DC who is happy to build a "Living Apart, Together" lifestyle with me.

@Tadpoll mine happened by chance. Due to Brexit my job got very stressful and I had to handle all the European orders without much support, so through trial and error I taught myself what I needed to do to get goods into Europe, taught myself import and export and customs. I have worked in logistics for 8 years overall so I knew the basics. My old work colleague offered me a job at her new place of work and I was so fed up that I went for it. They offered me10 K more that I was earning at my current job so I snatched their hand off. I have been there for over a year now and it's so much easier and less stressful than my old place but for more money.
It also helps that my partner earns good money, and compared to my ex, doesn't have any addictions and we both put all the money into a pot for the the family, so compared to before we have 2 good salaries, compared to just my shit one trying to make ends meet.

My new job involves import and export too, forgot to mention.