DH thinks I was rude but I disagree

[OvOvO]

At our local pub my usual tipple is rose wine. Almost every time we go they want to flog us the bottle and I always say no thanks.
I tend to have a large glass to start and then a couple of small ones with ice & soda to 'tip in'
Anyway today they tried to push the bottle and as usual I said no thanks to which the lass helping out behind the bar ( not even staff) said "do you know just how much wine you drink? You would save money by buying the bottle "
I replied "judgmental much?"

If you're anything like you appear on here, you were rude, aggressive and defensive. Hth.

Both of you were rude. She had no place making the comment she did, and you were understandably pissed off so were spiky back. Can't imagine it's going to be an exchange which stays in the memory banks for either of you though

You were both rude, and unreasonable.

Yes you were a bit rude but I think in this scenario right to be a bit rude.

If they are always trying to flog you a bottle perhaps this will make them stop.

She was rude to assume you don’t know how to do maths.

You were weird for thinking she was judging - it’s literally a drinking establishment, of course she’s going to err on the side of pushing more alcohol on you.

You are rude on this thread.

You weren't rude at all. I'd stop going to that pub though, if the bar staff turn into an infomercial every time you order a glass of wine 🙄 this whole bottle could be yours for the low low price of 18.99!

You sound delightful. Cough.

There was no need for her to comment on how much wine you drink. She was rude. Her next comment was reasonable but she'd wrecked it by then.

I think she was just trying to save you money?

I do think you were rude back though

you could of said something like

hmm. Yes I see your way of thinking but I disagree. Thank you though’

You were unnecessarily rude as she was trying to tell you how to save money. I'd inter-flora her some flowers and an apology.

I bet they would try and sell someone a bottle of champagne though

you say they don’t sell barrels to beer drinkers or bottle to gin drinkers.

but I bet they do for wines. Champagne etc

they weren’t singling you out I don’t feel.

Both were rude as she didn't phrase it well

You were both rude imo.

Complaining to the boss about someone trying to save you money? Doubt the boss will care.
Not that it matters because we all know bar staff (along with anyone else who works with customers) aren't real people and should be treated like shit at all times.
OP I don't actually think you were rude, depending on how you said it. I also don't think she was rude either.

I think you were a little rude and I think she is right.

Two different things

1. "Do you realise how much you are drinking?" Yes sounds judgemental.
2. You could save money buying the bottle. Not judgemental, just annoying if they keep pushing it

It would have been fine without 'do you know how much wine you drink?' That's very patronising and rude.

It's not always about money. I would rather pay for 2-3 glasses rather than a bottle because I don't want to drink an entire bottle. Going past that third glass would take me from 'tipsy' to unpleasantly drunk, and nobody is going to buy a bottle and not finish it, are they? A large glass and two small ones is two thirds of a bottle at most.

Yes you were rude and now no doubt being talked about amongst the bar staff. They probably know they will get a reaction from you so that’s why they keep pushing the bottle. Little bit of entertainment for them

If you act irl the same as you come across on this thread then I am not surprised that’s what your DH thinks of you

"she's just trying to save you money" x 100 🥱

OP spends 13.30, a bottle is 19. They are not saving her money, they are trying to squeeze more money out of her. She does not want a whole bottle of wine, she does not want to lug a glass bottle home. She wants one, large, two small for 13.30. She does not want 3 large for 19.50 or one bottle for 19. She is allowed to not want to be nagged to spend more every time she orders a drink.

If they keep pushing something you dont want just go somewhere else.
I wouldnt pay for being annoyed every time I went there.I gave up an excellent hairdresser for trying to push extras every time.
Its obviously been discussed if she doesnt even work there and yes she was rude.

I'd say they was trying to help you save cash, vs how much you drink

I don't agree with shops asking you, at the till, if you want their promotional offer: usually a big bag of sweets. One, I can think of, which promotes this approach, is a high street chain. Confectionery is not very good for you.

Jumping to OP scenario, booze you don't feel like having is certainly very bad for you. Customers have got to use whichever methods work for them to limit temptation. I think that the bar person is very naive and unworldliwise to encourage excessive drinking: how do they know how many units you have already consumed that week/day?

You were rude, they were trying to help

Wow. She wasn't judging you. She was asking if you realised how close to a full bottle you were and trying to help.

It does sound like you are a bit touchy on the drink front. I'm with your DH and most posters on here

From your earlier post The bottle costs a whole 50 pence less than buying drinks singularly

HTH 😘