Tattlelife

[Rubyupbeat]

Has anyone heard of tattlelife, or am I out of touch? It was mentioned on the radio today, so I had to take a look.
Wow! What a negative site, I could not believe the viciousness of the posters on there. Some of the vloggers, intagrammers I am aware of and don't particularly like, so I don't follow them, so don't understand the effort these people put into criticism and spitefullness.
I most definitely won't be going down that rabbit hole again, made me feel dirty.

Don't use your children to sell pushchairs if you're not in a good place. It's not difficult.

fucking hell.

Wow, that's an incredibly cruel thing to say to her in order to score some cheap points.

My view of Tattle is that lots of it is informative but some threads I've looked at are just people being cruel for sport.

@MarineOva Listen, I’m no fan of mummy bloggers - I don’t follow them, I wouldn’t want to be one, and I don’t approve of what they do. I just also don’t approve of those who spend time on a website dedicated to slagging them off. And just because something has always been a certain way (although I would argue that being a famous blogger is not the same as being an actual celebrity in that you don’t enjoy the same protections actual fame brings, and also that this kind of all day long ever present onslaught of negativity is a relatively new thing) doesn’t make it right.

Seems unlikely.

But people are very unwise to blog about things that they're going to take offense to if people have a view on. This is the internet.

Best to keep these things on your own locked down facebook. Starting a blog does seem like someone wanting to attract fame and freebies.

It's a mix of good and crazy bad I think. The people talking about Harry and Meghan make you start to understand why they want extra security around, but stuff like calling out Sarah Akwisombe's scamming made a real difference to people who were being exploited.

The Jack Monroe thread is actually a good example - they call out problematic and misleading stuff, have respectful discussions about trans issues, addiction, mental health etc but then also spend an unhealthy amount of time obsessing about someone who's of no consequence to their lives to the extent of sharing what her family and ex partners are talking about on their social media accounts which is just wrong. I read it with as much fascination about the people who post as I do the people they're posting about!

all day long ever present onslaught of negativity

If people don't want to hear negative views about the content they put on the internet can't they easily not read tattle? I find this statement a bit hyperbolic.

@peachgreen I am not a tattle user actually and I am glad you protect your daughter which you did not clarify in your original post instead you said you had set up a public blog with updates on you and your two year old daughter - which I am strongly against due to how anyone can access information about a child who can’t consent to what is being put online. I would also wonder if it was advisable to start a public blog when you were so vulnerable that any negative comment to you would have been catastrophic for your mental health.

@MarineOva It may seem like that to you, but actually I made my blog public to help other new widows. I have never made a penny from it and I don’t intend to. I don’t have advertising on the site, I don’t accept freebies, I don’t do reviews etc etc. I literally talk about my experience of widowhood in the hope that it will help others going through the same thing. And it has, which is great. Sometimes people disagree with things I’ve said or opinions I’ve shared on it and that’s fine - I expect that and welcome constructive criticism on my blog in the same way I welcome it in life. It’s useful. It’s good to be challenged. But that’s not what happens on sites like Tattle and you know it. On that thread I was told, among other things, that it would be better for my daughter if I had died because her father was a better parent, that I was so ugly I would now be alone forever, and that my husband probably died because I caused his heart condition by being such a burden. That’s not people “taking a view” on my blog.

I'm not trying to be cruel, pointing out that not everyone is suitable to be a public figure.

Maybe it just comes naturally to you.

The poster you made the cruel comment to had a blog for family and friends. Not a public figure.

You’re right @BetsHilton - instead of using writing and helping others as a tool for healing I should have crawled into a hole and stayed quiet because it’s not reasonable to expect others to, I don’t know, not spend their time slagging off strangers on the internet If you’re not a Tattle user, why defend it?

On that thread I was told, among other things, that it would be better for my daughter if I had died because her father was a better parent, that I was so ugly I would now be alone forever, and that my husband probably died because I caused his heart condition by being such a burden

Really? Do you have a link for that. Because that's the kind of thing influencers say all the time but never happens on tattle. PTWM said pretty much the same and no one has ever posted that. If someone did they'd be called out on it.

There's lots disingenuous stuff posted about tattle to make an effect even tho it's pure bullshit made up to smear.

I stumbled across it

Found myself nodding along at the comment re Alice Judge Talbot. Was good to know I was not the only one very 🤔 at her life and basically most of her posts were proved to be bull shit, which was fascinating to watch as posters “uncovered” the truth.

but other than that… it’s unappealing to me

But that’s my point. Not everyone on Tattle IS a public figure. Some of them have become public purely because of what they do and probably didn’t want to be. When I started my blog - which I didn’t promote anywhere beyond the charity I volunteer for and my own friends and family - I did not do so in order to become a public figure. I’m still not! But I got targeted nonetheless.

I’m not saying what Mummy bloggers etc do is right. I’m just saying that posting nasty things about them, their appearance, their children etc, is just as bad.

She said she set up a "public blog"

Really? Do you have a link for that. Because that's the kind of thing influencers say all the time but never happens on tattle.

good point

@MarineOva if you think I’m going to give traffic to that thread (which has thankfully died) you must be mad, but it was bad enough that the police got involved, hence how I found out who it was. As I said, it wasn’t on Tattle, but a similar site.

Your defensiveness is pretty telling.

@peachgreen maybe read the thread and my posts on how I came across tattle. Yes if a negative comment on the internet was going to be catastrophic for your mental health then it was very inadvisable to set up a public blog on top of which doing so while knowing you had a vile almost stalker esq person who watched your online activity. You sound very naive about the internet.

Unless you're a public figure then you're not allowed to be spoken about on tattle.

ah, victim-blaming. Delightful. Of course it’s us who should change our behaviour, not the people who spend their days being cruel to strangers.

I’m not naive. I’m just not willing to let bullies win.

The police got involved? On the basis of what you have listed - there was no grounds for their involvement and I suspect they said the same
in any event, I’ve never seen anything close to this. Ever.

Lots of what they say dosen't add up at all.

People making up lies for affect is why some on tattle have threads.

PTWM made up that people wished her child had died and similar, when no one ever posted that.

If something is damaging my mental health I step away from it -be it a job, too much social media activity, a bad relationship/friendship. I don’t keep putting myself into that situation while rambling about victim blaming and not letting the bullies win and accusing random posters of spending their time online being cruel to posters on websites they’re not even members of 🙄 a bit of common sense online is required @peachgreen

Please re-read my posts. I never said I was spoken about on Tattle. It was another similar forum. I am not prepared to give it traffic or reveal my personal details to you, so if it makes you feel better to believe I’m lying, go ahead. I’m not, but that’s fine.

You really are a charming person.