Tattlelife

[Rubyupbeat]

Has anyone heard of tattlelife, or am I out of touch? It was mentioned on the radio today, so I had to take a look.
Wow! What a negative site, I could not believe the viciousness of the posters on there. Some of the vloggers, intagrammers I am aware of and don't particularly like, so I don't follow them, so don't understand the effort these people put into criticism and spitefullness.
I most definitely won't be going down that rabbit hole again, made me feel dirty.

I don't mind Tattle! I think it has many fair points about influencer culture.

I specifically feel bewildered by what I assume is the Jack Monroe thread popping up unbidden at every mention of Tattle or Jack Monroe to yell about taxes and mayonnaise.

Parents of terminally Ill kids have been snubbed when funds requested to help their child.... it absolutely does need to be kept going and in the public eye when so many of us donated unwittingly

Also, took me minutes to find Mrs hinch new house online

Not because of tattle but because of the details SHE revealed

Rough location
Amount of bedrooms
A sneak peak photo of a unique feature

That's all it took

I have mixed feelings about Tattle. There is a long running thread on there about Deborah James (Bowelbabe) who is coming to the end of the road with her illness, and while some good points are made about 'cancer influencing' etc, some of the posts go way over the line. And nothing is ever deleted, it seems like anything goes! And if anyone does say anything, they get bollocked for 'tone policing'. Some of the posts about certain influencers are really personal and disgusting, and verging on racist at times.

Nothing gets past those posters though, they have receipts on absolutely everything. I do think that they probably need to get a life, but at the same time I kind of admire the tenacity!

The Father of Daughters threads are pretty funny, largely because he is such a prize plonker!

I like some parts of it, sometimes people go over the line at times but that happens on every forum, I laughed a lot at the guardian calling it the most hate filled corner of the Internet.
There is a lot worse on kiwifarms, reddit etc but the be nice message always seems to be targeted at female dominated forums.

I don’t like comments about people’s physical appearance on Tattle, but on the whole I think posters are nicer to each other than on some AIBU threads on here!

This about covers my feelings too! I think there’s probably a lot of poster crossover from here. Some people are arseholes, some aren’t. Some threads are funny, some are intelligent, some are over the top. Bored people looking for community. Like here.

Also - the threads vary wildly. The ones about Harry and Meghan are pretty awful. Others are thoughtful and informative.

Agree totally

I stick to certain threads as some of them are very strange.
I went on there and the person I followed was saying things that didn’t make any sense. When I googled it, I found that site and made me feel I wasn’t going mad.

@Kedece2410 what do they say about Stacey Solomon?

I went on after it being mentioned in 2019 on here re Sali Hughes and the ‘Freaky Friday’ video, the alleged bullying by SH and the alleged threats by MN favourite India Knight. They and their ilk can delete their tweets as much as they want but the screenshots are still on Tattle for everyone to see which I’m glad about. I’m glad the site exists and the moderation is more transparent than here.

After reading many more balanced posts in support (while acknowledging some of it is bad) I wonder if I've been too harsh and shouldn't judge Tattle on one look and some unfortunate active threads on that particular day.

I'm indifferent to Jack Munro but I'd never heard anything very negative (I remember feeling sorry for her when she recounted tales of when she'd been very poor to something like a parliamentary committee) so will take a look.

@Rubyupbeat

I found tattle while undergoing ivf treatment. My clinic posted a live Q&A with an influencer and told followers this influencer was going to be opening the conversation on fertility and to go follow her - so I did. More openness about fertility issues is so important. The influencers next post after this was a scan pic and pics of her and her DH with a baby grow saying baby x arriving. Followed by an influx of posts about scans/baby/becoming parents etc. No warning, no sensitive post etc as is typical in the community among those who understand how difficult infertility is. I messaged said influencer saying lots of us had followed her following on from the fertility clinics recommendation and could she at least be a bit more sensitive to her new followers if she was going to be a fertility clinic representative and she blocked me, there were a lot of upset women in the ivf community at both her and the clinic who just deleted all comments and blocked anyone who said anything negative. Women commenting negatively were on things like her liking posts of people saying ‘great your DH pencil is working and not a dud’ etc. Really crass stuff. Turns out she has no issues conceiving but got €10k from the clinic to promote them. She then had an article in a paper accusing ‘trolls’ on Instagram of ‘bullying her’ when she was vulnerable and newly pregnant and got an outpouring of support for how awful that was for her.

Tattle was the only place when I googled that was calling her and the clinic out for their bad behaviour and where the comments could stay without being deleted. So I’m glad it exists. Influencing seems to be the only job where you get paid but no-one is allowed say anything negative about you or give any feedback that isn’t glowing positivity. Imagine if a consumer gave you bad feedback on a product and you could call them a troll and accuse them of bullying you. It’s ridiculous. Until Instagram step up and actual deal with lies and blocking and ‘woe is me’ to legitimate comments then I’m glad tattle exists.

I do agree that some of the threads are a bit much but it is playing a valuable role is calling out the lies, misleading adverts, irresponsible behaviour etc of lots of influencers.

I do occasionally check Tattle & first became aware of it after the MoD fall out. I had a day or two when I spent too long on there & it made me feel quite negative. I agree about the bowelbabe thread- some of the posters almost seem to be willing her to die! At the same time there does seem to be a certain amount of self-moderation. For example on the Alex Stedman thread a poster was completely shut down for commenting on her daughter’s appearance. The same on the bowel babe thread in terms of certain posters being told they are out of line.

Among other things how totally fake she is. And how many lies & inconsistencies there are on her Instagram. Like I said, a real eye-opener

Another thing tattle has consistently called out is parents exploiting their children online - so like Stacey Solomon or Mrs Hinch where their children can’t consent to being shown.

People who call this out are called ‘trolls’ and told ‘just don’t follow them then’ ignoring the much wider issues with child exploitation. Now this is actually getting attention as an issue of child labour. Hopefully before long influencers won’t be allowed to use children online. Again tattle has been highlighting this issue for a long time.

podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/why-using-your-child-on-social-media-is-wrong/id698050979?i=1000560039258

amp.theguardian.com/media/2022/may/09/uk-must-protect-child-influencers-exploitation-social-media

I was targeted by a similar site once - I was submitted by an old friend of my late DH’s who is weirdly obsessed with me and likes to stalk me around the internet. As a result all my profiles are heavily locked down but I started a public blog after DH died, mostly to keep friends and family up to date on how our daughter and I were doing. So this guy made a post about me on this site and a bunch of people who knew nothing about me said the most vile things imaginable about me at a time when I was incredibly vulnerable (I had literally just been widowed at 36 with a 2 year old to take care of). It was unbelievably traumatising and painful, it left me feeling so unsafe and at the time I didn’t know who had started the thread so I felt I couldn’t trust anyone in my life (he had taken one of my wedding photos from my private Facebook in order to make fun of my weight).

Anyway, it was awful, and since then I have been very careful about what I post about online, even when it’s a “celebrity” or blogger or whatever, because I’ve directly experienced how much pain the words of strangers can cause, and also because I now understand how dangerous it can be to say horrible things about someone when you have no idea what’s going on in their lives. These kinds of sites are vile and irresponsible IMO and anyone who posts on them needs to take a long hard look at how they’re expending their energy.

@peachgreen started a public blog after DH died, mostly to keep friends and family up to date on how our daughter and I were doing

if this was for family and friends why was it public? And did your daughter consent to being discussed in intimate detail on a public website that anyone could see?

Personally I think anyone who posts their childrens lives on a public forum for anyone - including abusers to see - are irresponsible and bad parents and should take a long hard look at how they are expending their energy. I’m glad this will hopefully soon be illegal.

@BetsHilton It’s public because I also share it with new widows as part of my volunteer work for a charity for people widowed young. And any entries about my daughter were password protected and only my friends and family had the password, but thanks so much for your concern.

there's a world of difference between putting a photo of your child online and monetising their entire existence.

Get a grip.

And also thank you for being such a sterling example of my point - Tattle users are the kind of people who say hurtful things about a stranger without actually having the faintest idea of what’s happening in their lives or how hurtful their words could be. Thankfully I’m in a better place now, but six months ago being accused of being a bad parent when I was desperately trying to adjust to raising my daughter alone would have been catastrophic for my mental health. But so long as you got to feel superior, that’s what matters, hm?

But you weren't targeted by a site like tattle. Tattle is only for talking about public figures that make money by sharing their life online.

Your story is about keeping things private. Nothing to do with tattle.

People that want fame and fortune can't expect people to only have positive opinions. Some people overstep the mark (as they do on every platform) but it's really not this hate filled worst part of the internet.

Don't use your children to sell pushchairs if you're not in a good place. It's not difficult.

These people can't expect to have fame without the trappings it's always come with.

Your saying unkind things about all tattlers, which is silly to paint them with the same brush.

There are posts about other widow bloggers on Tattle, some of whom I know for a fact don’t make money from their blogs. It doesn’t just target the Mrs Hinches of the world.