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Original poster

Horrible text sent to child

145 replies

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:40

My child had an argument with her friend on Friday at school. They rub each other up the wrong way as well as being friends I think. From what I can gather it's a bit one and a bit the other.

However then she WhatsApped this friend from my phone (this friend has her own phone) saying sorry this friend wrote back saying no!
I hate you.

She burst into tears.i took phone off her at this point as I didn't want any more upset.

Friend sent another
Text saying you're mean you make me feel bad.
But then a voice note which seems the most offensive saying
You said nobody ever wanted to be my friend so I hate you you said I'm a rudie so I hate you and no one will ever want to be your friend after I tell them this. (In quite a nasty voice)

This argument apparently started after she interrupted my child so she told her it's rude. I'm not saying my child is innocent in these interactions with her friend like I say I think it's a bit of one and a bit of the other with this friend
Obviously I won't be allowing messaging anymore but would you do anything about the text?

They're 8

OP posts:
Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:41

She has not seen the voice note

OP posts:
FrancescaContini · 30/04/2022 09:42

They’re 8 and they have their own mobile phones?

DorritLittle · 30/04/2022 09:43

Delete Whatsapp OP. This may all be fine tomorrow but they are too young to handle the drama of messaging.

CheeseBoard2022 · 30/04/2022 09:43

Personally I'd take the phone off your child she's clearly to young to be having one!

ChaToilLeam · 30/04/2022 09:43

Typical childish spat. Just now technology makes more of it than it has to be. You could always message back: this is PurpleJr’s mum and I want these messages to stop right now.

Thesearmsofmine · 30/04/2022 09:43

I think you have learnt why 8 year olds shouldn’t have access to WhatsApp.

ChaToilLeam · 30/04/2022 09:44

And yea, I agree they’re a bit young for phones.

onepieceoflollipop · 30/04/2022 09:44

Are you friends with the parents?
if so could you gently ask if their child is ok and let them know of these communications?
don’t respond back direct to the child.
8 is too young imo for a phone

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:44

FrancescaContini · 30/04/2022 09:42

They’re 8 and they have their own mobile phones?

As said above my child texted from my phone. My child doesn't have her own phone. I haven't let her. I thought she would be ok whatsapping a friend from my phone but I was clearly wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:45

But this friend does seem to have her own phone yes

OP posts:
MistyFuckingQuigley · 30/04/2022 09:45

Yeah 8 is too young for mobile phones. But anyway, when my daughter was given nasty letters by her so called friend I involved the school and the friend got an absolute bollocking and was made to apologise. You have the proof of the bullying, use it.

Redglitter · 30/04/2022 09:45

And this is why 8 year old shouldn't have phones. A sinple fall out which would have ended after school has now carried on. 8 year old are in no way mature enough to deal with things like this. I'd be taking the phone away for several years

onepieceoflollipop · 30/04/2022 09:45

(To be clear I know the OP’s child doesn’t have her own phone)

and if you do respond just a simple reply like CTL suggests

LittleBearPad · 30/04/2022 09:46

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:44

As said above my child texted from my phone. My child doesn't have her own phone. I haven't let her. I thought she would be ok whatsapping a friend from my phone but I was clearly wrong

Show quote history

So lesson learnt. No more WhatsApp or messaging for several years.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:46

onepieceoflollipop · 30/04/2022 09:44

Are you friends with the parents?
if so could you gently ask if their child is ok and let them know of these communications?
don’t respond back direct to the child.
8 is too young imo for a phone

I know the mum she's nice
Which makes it awkward. I understand these things happen with children

OP posts:
Itsbackagain · 30/04/2022 09:47

Sounds like your child is the instigator in all this if shes calling the other names and telling her noone likes her. Maybe have a word with your child about the effects of being horrible have on other people.

SpringLobelia · 30/04/2022 09:47

ChaToilLeam · 30/04/2022 09:43

Typical childish spat. Just now technology makes more of it than it has to be. You could always message back: this is PurpleJr’s mum and I want these messages to stop right now.

Please do not get involved messaging a child when you are an adult.

Take the phone off your DD. Message the other child's mum and say something neutral like they have had a falling out and in order for things to settle you are taking the phone away. If her mum wishes for the children to sort it out then you can both facilitate that in a mature and adult way.

The last thing the OP should be doing is messaging the child.

And OP- please consider what devices you allow your child access to. And maybe discuss with her how to relate better with others.

DorritLittle · 30/04/2022 09:47

Your phone or not, it's too young for messaging dramas.

MistyFuckingQuigley · 30/04/2022 09:47

Don't respond to the child yourself, you could be accused of harrasment if you do. Involve the parents or the school.

MissNothing1991 · 30/04/2022 09:47

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:40

My child had an argument with her friend on Friday at school. They rub each other up the wrong way as well as being friends I think. From what I can gather it's a bit one and a bit the other.

However then she WhatsApped this friend from my phone (this friend has her own phone) saying sorry this friend wrote back saying no!
I hate you.

She burst into tears.i took phone off her at this point as I didn't want any more upset.

Friend sent another
Text saying you're mean you make me feel bad.
But then a voice note which seems the most offensive saying
You said nobody ever wanted to be my friend so I hate you you said I'm a rudie so I hate you and no one will ever want to be your friend after I tell them this. (In quite a nasty voice)

This argument apparently started after she interrupted my child so she told her it's rude. I'm not saying my child is innocent in these interactions with her friend like I say I think it's a bit of one and a bit of the other with this friend
Obviously I won't be allowing messaging anymore but would you do anything about the text?

They're 8

If your daughter did indeed say to the other child that nobody wants to be her friend, you can't really whinge at what was said back. That was equally a horrible thing to say.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 30/04/2022 09:48

Hmmm. Tricky.

Do you have the parent’s number? I think I would be calling them and saying look I understand our kids have fallen out, I’ll be having words with mine as clearly she’s said some unkind things. I think you should know your daughter is sending nasty messages to mine, I understand why, but it’s not going to do any good when they’re back at school.

If you don’t or you don’t think they’d be receptive I’d just leave it, send a message telling the kid your daughter won’t be responding and you’re blocking her and then do that.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 30/04/2022 09:48

Also I’d be having words with my own daughter as it seems they’re their own worst enemies!

Tagliatellme · 30/04/2022 09:49

Here's what I'd do: stop allowing her to use your phone. No 8 year old needs the use of a phone.

Also I'd speak to my child about her behaviour because saying 'nobody ever wanted to be your friend' to another child is mean. Hopefully the other parent is dealing with her child's behaviour.

Whenthegoatcomesin · 30/04/2022 09:49

Sounds like she gave as good as she got.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:50

Itsbackagain · 30/04/2022 09:47

Sounds like your child is the instigator in all this if shes calling the other names and telling her noone likes her. Maybe have a word with your child about the effects of being horrible have on other people.

When children are this age they say all the time I'm not your friend now. I like her better etc etc.
There's been many times my child tells me this.
But I have had a word about her part yes.
But she doesn't walk away when these things start/people say things to her which is how it escalates but is understandable I think. I'd find walking away hard never mind at that age.

OP posts: