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Original poster

Horrible text sent to child

145 replies

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 09:40

My child had an argument with her friend on Friday at school. They rub each other up the wrong way as well as being friends I think. From what I can gather it's a bit one and a bit the other.

However then she WhatsApped this friend from my phone (this friend has her own phone) saying sorry this friend wrote back saying no!
I hate you.

She burst into tears.i took phone off her at this point as I didn't want any more upset.

Friend sent another
Text saying you're mean you make me feel bad.
But then a voice note which seems the most offensive saying
You said nobody ever wanted to be my friend so I hate you you said I'm a rudie so I hate you and no one will ever want to be your friend after I tell them this. (In quite a nasty voice)

This argument apparently started after she interrupted my child so she told her it's rude. I'm not saying my child is innocent in these interactions with her friend like I say I think it's a bit of one and a bit of the other with this friend
Obviously I won't be allowing messaging anymore but would you do anything about the text?

They're 8

OP posts:
LollyLol · 30/04/2022 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:11

I don't know if this friend has forgotten it's my phone 🤣

OP posts:
runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:11

It says I don't like you I hate you our friendship is over forever
I wish you'd move out of this schoo you're mean and selfish and disrespectful ends by saying I hate you again.

WTAF?

You need to go and have a strong word with her parent(s) immediately. Explain in no uncertain terms that if their child sends any more voice notes to your phone that you will be reporting them as the parents, to the police, for harassment.

This friend child sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Act now before this escalates OP.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

These responses honestly aren't helpful

OP posts:
runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:13

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:11

I don't know if this friend has forgotten it's my phone 🤣

Perhaps 😂

8 year olds are children who are generally impulsive and tend not to think before they act.

Either way, if it was your child’s phone, does that make it any better in terms of the things she is saying? Absolutely not.

Act now before it’s too late OP.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 30/04/2022 11:16

SlatsandFlaps · 30/04/2022 10:55

OP'S CHILD DOES NOT HAVE A PHONE FFS 🤣

Show quote history

Who owns the phone is a bit of a red herring though - OP's 8yo still has access to WhatsApp and as this thread shows, it's totally inappropriate.

There's not much to be done except for no longer allowing your 8yo access to WhatsApp or similar apps. The girls will make up soon, no doubt.

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:18

purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:12

These responses honestly aren't helpful

Show quote history

Ignore this response. Of course we know that 8 year olds should not have access to mobile phones and/or messaging platforms but the same could be said for online gaming. 🤔

Doesn’t make it right, mind you, but there’s only so much that we can do as parents. Children are inquisitive, they will find a way to access the internet, online gaming world etc, eventually. Our job is to install parental controls onto these devices so that our children are not exposed to negative/damaging things online.

LIZS · 30/04/2022 11:19

Phone your friend and remind her that it is your phone and although you realise this is the nature of friendship can she stop her dd messaging as your dd will not be engaging.

VirginiaQ · 30/04/2022 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

It's 16+ in the European Union.

I would also suggest that the only reason the OP's daughter hasn't sent 'nasty' messages on WhatsApp is because she's using her Mum's phone. Seems she makes her 'nasty' comments in person so clever not innocent.

As the op says it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Good life lesson. If you're nasty to someone they'll be nasty back.

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:23

Bootothegoose · 30/04/2022 11:08

Harassment? They're eight!

If it carries on she tells the girl's mum, their teacher and blocks her number!

Show quote history

If you scroll through the thread, you will see that I suggested speaking with the parents and explaining that she will be reporting the parents to the police for harassment. Not the child. 🙄

DaisyQuakeJohnson · 30/04/2022 11:24

If you know her parents well, then I'd text them saying 'x has forgotten DD doesn't have a phone and is sending me messages Grin'
Otherwise, there isn't really anything to do. Don't respond to the messages. Don't delete them (just in case it tips over into school and becomes an issue).
Tell the teacher on Mon or Tues (if it's a holiday Monday) to keep an eye on them because they've fallen out and both been mean to each other.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 30/04/2022 11:27

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:18

Ignore this response. Of course we know that 8 year olds should not have access to mobile phones and/or messaging platforms but the same could be said for online gaming. 🤔

Doesn’t make it right, mind you, but there’s only so much that we can do as parents. Children are inquisitive, they will find a way to access the internet, online gaming world etc, eventually. Our job is to install parental controls onto these devices so that our children are not exposed to negative/damaging things online.

Show quote history

Children are inquisitive, they will find a way to access the internet, online gaming world etc, eventually.

Absolutely, but at 8yo the parent is in charge. There's a huge different between an 8yo in primary and a 11/12 year old in secondary in terms of what's appropriate.

Our job is to install parental controls onto these devices so that our children are not exposed to negative/damaging things online.

Exactly, except OP hasn't done that, which is why her 8yo had access to WhatsApp in the first place...

Itwasntmeright · 30/04/2022 11:29

Honestly, this is all pretty horrible but it’s nothing that didn’t happen when we were kids, only our parents would never have known about it. The most I would do in this situation is have a friendly chat with the Mum, ‘our two seem to be having a bit of a spat and it seems to be getting a bit nasty, I wonder if we should have a word with them?’

I honestly wouldn’t get too involved unless it really starts having a negative impact on your DD. This is just kids learning to navigate friendships, it’s nothing new. And you’re definitely right not to be giving your eight-year-old DD a phone. I gave DS a phone at 11 and wished I hadn’t. To be honest it took him several confiscations of varying lengths to start being responsible with it, and that took until he was 13, and he’s quite a mature kid for his age.

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:30

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 30/04/2022 11:27

Children are inquisitive, they will find a way to access the internet, online gaming world etc, eventually.

Absolutely, but at 8yo the parent is in charge. There's a huge different between an 8yo in primary and a 11/12 year old in secondary in terms of what's appropriate.

Our job is to install parental controls onto these devices so that our children are not exposed to negative/damaging things online.

Exactly, except OP hasn't done that, which is why her 8yo had access to WhatsApp in the first place...

Show quote history

@fairylightsandwaxmelts fair point on both of my quotes 👌

LemonDrizzleSlice · 30/04/2022 11:32

You really shouldn't have got involved in this. It seems like you're stoking the drama.

Just leave them be. No more Whatsapping. 8 year old girls fall in and out of friendship all the time, and it sounds like it's happening on both sides here.

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:35

LemonDrizzleSlice · 30/04/2022 11:32

You really shouldn't have got involved in this. It seems like you're stoking the drama.

Just leave them be. No more Whatsapping. 8 year old girls fall in and out of friendship all the time, and it sounds like it's happening on both sides here.

How have I stoked the drama?
Or even got involved for that matter?

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 30/04/2022 11:38

Sounds like the little girl snapped under the awful things tour child has said. If your daughter did say those things she is absolutely right to hate her and call her out. These would be the consequences for your daughters actions

lljkk · 30/04/2022 11:40

When DD was 7yo, her bestie (also 7yo) left a message on our landline which was basically a string of calling DD explicit / nasty 4 letter words and phrases. This was what friend sent as a joke, I suppose. From a sweet nice angelic child to another... They hadn't fallen out at all.

It was showing off. I deleted & ignored.

So I don't think mobile is problem or solution.
FGS don't get in middle of this.
Encourage your DD to have lots of different friends & not be dependent on this relationship. Think about your DD's self-esteem & resilience, not the other child's mistakes.

I have had a few situations like this with DD's mates over the years (DD is now an adult at Uni).

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:40

I wouldn’t say that you have stoked or encouraged the drama OP, but the suggestions from pp’s to delete WhatsApp and no longer allow your 8 year old access to your phone are correct.

If the friend child has no access to your child, then the drama ends there.

I still stand by the fact that you should not delete the voice notes and keep a log of everything though.

Sally090807 · 30/04/2022 11:42

Why on earth do 8 year olds have access to WhatsApp etc 🙄

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:42

AskingforaBaskin · 30/04/2022 11:38

Sounds like the little girl snapped under the awful things tour child has said. If your daughter did say those things she is absolutely right to hate her and call her out. These would be the consequences for your daughters actions

What did OP’s child say to the other child that caused her to hate her and call her out? Maybe I missed that part, the thread is moving too quickly for me to keep up 😅

Original poster
purpleme12 · 30/04/2022 11:43

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:40

I wouldn’t say that you have stoked or encouraged the drama OP, but the suggestions from pp’s to delete WhatsApp and no longer allow your 8 year old access to your phone are correct.

If the friend child has no access to your child, then the drama ends there.

I still stand by the fact that you should not delete the voice notes and keep a log of everything though.

Yes I agree I'll be doing this thank you

OP posts:
runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:44

Yes I agree I'll be doing this thank you

You’re most welcome 😊

AskingforaBaskin · 30/04/2022 11:47

runnerblade95 · 30/04/2022 11:42

What did OP’s child say to the other child that caused her to hate her and call her out? Maybe I missed that part, the thread is moving too quickly for me to keep up 😅

Show quote history

This update is useless I couldn't copy and paste it. But in the OP the voice note apparently states the OPs child said you said XYZ. I can't copy it and can't remember it long enough to type.

Seriously hope nobody is paying premium for this shit 🤣

Peppapig7262662 · 30/04/2022 11:48

Stop letting your child use your phone to text, it's ridiculous!

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