I've just been invited on a three day/two night baby shower

[TheyCallMeJune]

WTF?!

Travelling to another city; meal on day/night one, 'activities' on day two followed by another meal at another restaurant. Brunch on the third morning. Two nights in pricey hotel. Plus expensive gift list. Plus themes to have to dress for such as 'pink night'

I won't be attending. The 'Mama' as she calls herself on the invites didn't even invite me to her daytime wedding, just the evening do, so I'm clearly not that good a friend!

How unutterably naff and self-indulgent. I'd be delighted to decline as I do any baby shower.

Tacky. What's wrong with going for a curry and a few drinks?

baby showers, gender reveals, over the top stag and hen do's!! Thank god I'm in my 50's when we had known of this over the top rubbish !!

I have no words.

Is Multi Level Marketing involved somewhere?

I am starting to think I have lived too long.....

I don't think there is actually anything wrong in itself with doing this sort of thing if you have a group of friends who are willing to spend the money and would enjoy it. What would be wrong is putting pressure on people to attend or spend money they haven't got, or doing this when there are uneven financial circumstances within a friendship group.

I had a lovely baby shower, way back in 2005 for DD1, had barely even heard of one but my friend wanted to do it and organised everything. It was a little party with fizz, cake and a buffet fro a few friends. Even then online fun sponges were saying "A baby shower, how common!" or "How American!"

I'd actually love to have the chutzpah to demand people (especially ones I'd demoted to the B list for my wedding!) spent so much time and money on me just because I'd got pregnant

The OP got an invite not a 'demand'. Not sure why so many posters are so indignant about this. It's an INVITATION. One which you can decline. I wouldn't go because I wouldn't enjoy it but I wouldn't be angry about it.

Like this sort of comment. Why are baby showers hideous in themselves? Lots of things can be hideous or they can be pleasant. Surely it depends how they are done.

To answer a few questions;

I'm not annoyed at such, just think it's breathtakingly self absorbed.

I am about the same 'level' of friendship with her that I have been before, and after her wedding. Part of a group of friends that see each other regularly. Most were invited to the day reception for her wedding.

Yep, we would be expected to cover the costs of 'Mama', including a pregnancy massage for her at a very expensive place on the activities day.

It's not her first baby, it's her third!

Have you declined yet?

What a shame it clashes with the multiple appointments you have made to have your gerbils’ toenails cut…… but, hey, that’s life isn’t it.

Hey, I'm all for a decent hen do (if you like all concerned) but who the fuck wants to chuck money at a do where the main "party person" is going to be a sober dud 😂
Baby showers are dull as fuck, two hours is plenty far too long

How * ridiculous can that Mama get.

I'm only surprised you weren't all invited to the Conception Night. Dress optional.

Lol we had a ‘baby shower’ for my daughter yesterday. Really just an excuse for us all to get together. Male and female guests, no present needed. Although she did get some lovely little things anyway.

in our garden, basic buffet, lots of chatter and laughing.

not sure why we needed to name it really lol. I think so focus was on expecting daughter maybe.,

Ha. Mama sounds like she likes Instagram and is a twat.

Oh wow…
I feel like Phoebe in Friends (when she was possessed by spirit of an old woman at Carol & Susan’s wedding) - “NOW I’ve seen everything!”

What did I just read? Omg.

I would think that your friends wouldn't want to come empty handed to your baby shower.

Chica10 I think you were right the first time with "creed" seemingly all the time honoured etiquette of hospitality has been tossed away to be replaced by a greedy creed of me, me & more me.

These baby showers over the pond from the US are just a reason to invite lots of people to spend money on a baby that isn't even born yet. Never seen one yet that isn't tacky, over the top and greed fuelled. This one really goes that little bit extra tacky.

Hen 'nights' have also become the home of the tacky spend as much as you can. Avoid like the plague

Why would anyone care that much about a friend/acquaintance having a baby so as to spend a vast amount of money in celebrating the occasion?

A congratulations card and a packet of baby muslins wrapped up in a twee bow is more than sufficient.

I was once invited to a 50th birthday party by a woman who was more of a friend of a friend than an actual friend who wanted to spend her birthday in Australia helping to save the Dolphins which was actually just a jolly to go to a hot country and swim with the critters.

She dressed it up as her flying out there to singlehandedly do good deeds amongst the porpoise community.

She wanted her guests to donate £250.00 + each. I wish I kept the invite but alas I probably used it as a dog poop scoop on the patio.

Fuck that right off - I literally could not think of an event I would less likely to attend than this.

I would honestly rather shit in my hands and clap that go to a three day baby shower! But then I’m the sort of weirdo person who can only just manage a one evening social event. Introvert life 😆