Nobody got our DC an easter egg

[HappyEaster2022]

Before anybody accuses me of being grabby, it's the thought that counts and its the fact nobody thought of them which has hurt me.

I have 3 children (one is just a little baby but the older two are well aware of easter)

I don't have much family and the ones I do have are complex characters which means my children miss out on having traditionally good relationships with family.

My relationship with my DM has gone because of her drinking, we've been pretty much NC, I stopped calling and the contact just stopped as it was always me making the effort - but it wouldn't have killed her to drop an egg off at the door for the kids would it? I thought she would have done as despite her habit I believed she loved them in her own way. They adored her.

I'm also NC with my aunt now, the only other relative who ever really bothered with the kids at easter and other occasions, because she was enabling my mum and was becoming really toxic for me.

So there's nobody on my side who bothers with the kids now. I have a DB who lives quite far away and our relationship has suffered because he and his DW are having fertility struggles and I think they find it hard to see/be around me and my DC we represent the unfairness of it all. Its not nice but I understand it.

OH's family are completely uninvolved and we don't hear from them unless they want to borrow money, none of our kids have ever had so much as a birthday card or call wishing them a happy birthday.

Obviously the lack of easter eggs is just symptomatic of the bigger picture and it's not really about chocolate at all, special occasions just make you look at the disparity with other families I think.

What a shit family we've brought our children into. I feel so sad for them and myself if I'm honest

I was told by dd not to buy dgc an Easter Egg as they get too many and she does not like to tell her mil or sil no incase they get upset. Instead I got them Lego dinosaurs each and am buying them a new pair of shoes each. 1 or 2 eggs are plenty as too much chocolate not good for children.

I get it OP. We have v little family and even less support or involvement from those we do have. I can remember feeling a little sad that they didn't have doting grandparents and aunties and uncles. Now mine are teens and each other's best friends. We're a great family unit. Focus on the future and your nuclear family

I also get it op. I remember having lots of Easter eggs from grandparents, aunts etc. but rather than the chocolate, it's about not having the grandparents, aunts etc. in the first place.

I do feel sad for my dc that they don't have this but as Tickledtrout says all you can do is concentrate on your nuclear family because you can't change it (and this doesn't mean you can't feel sad about it because it's crap to be dealt such a rubbish hand). So, all you can do is create happy memories with what you do have. All I can say is, we have some lovely friends who are much nicer than extended family ever were.

Thank you for all of the understanding replies. I'm feeling alot better than I did this morning. I guess it's just one of those things isn't it? We have to make do, and make the best of what we have.

We had a nice day together just the 5 of us, the kids got to have chocolate for breakfast, we played games together and OH made a lovely roast.

When you don't have something, it's hard when you see others with it. But, honestly, a lot of families are like this.

It's what you do with them that counts.

When we were little we got one family egg and the hunt was clues leading to it. Not lots of eggs to find. It was fun.

It's not about the chocolate, I get it, OP

OP as you said it seems like the Easter egg thing isn't the real issue just a symptom of it, which has brought up painful feelings. It's completely understandable you feel sad about not having positive relationships within your family of origin and it sucks that they have a range of issues and they are unreliable. But I wouldn't worry at all about those family members and their lack of involvement impacting your kids. They have YOU for family and it really is enough. Show them how much YOU love them and make your own traditions. A Easter egg hunt around the house can be so much fun, or you could try making a point of catching up with friends ("chosen family") or something special around major holidays in the future, for you and DC to enjoy. It sucks not having come from a nice, caring family but you really can make your own, and that's the most wonderful gift for DC.