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Original poster

Nobody got our DC an easter egg

158 replies

HappyEaster2022 · 17/04/2022 12:45

Before anybody accuses me of being grabby, it's the thought that counts and its the fact nobody thought of them which has hurt me.

I have 3 children (one is just a little baby but the older two are well aware of easter)

I don't have much family and the ones I do have are complex characters which means my children miss out on having traditionally good relationships with family.

My relationship with my DM has gone because of her drinking, we've been pretty much NC, I stopped calling and the contact just stopped as it was always me making the effort - but it wouldn't have killed her to drop an egg off at the door for the kids would it? I thought she would have done as despite her habit I believed she loved them in her own way. They adored her.

I'm also NC with my aunt now, the only other relative who ever really bothered with the kids at easter and other occasions, because she was enabling my mum and was becoming really toxic for me.

So there's nobody on my side who bothers with the kids now. I have a DB who lives quite far away and our relationship has suffered because he and his DW are having fertility struggles and I think they find it hard to see/be around me and my DC we represent the unfairness of it all. Its not nice but I understand it.

OH's family are completely uninvolved and we don't hear from them unless they want to borrow money, none of our kids have ever had so much as a birthday card or call wishing them a happy birthday.

Obviously the lack of easter eggs is just symptomatic of the bigger picture and it's not really about chocolate at all, special occasions just make you look at the disparity with other families I think.

What a shit family we've brought our children into. I feel so sad for them and myself if I'm honest

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 17/04/2022 14:46

Well that’s a massive drip-feed, @IdiotIntrusion.

AngelinaFibres · 17/04/2022 14:47

@metalkprettyoneday

I buy the little eggs for the garden hunt. I don’t expect other people to buy any. My family aren’t local so don’t see them but don’t expect eggs.Maybe it’s a tradition you had when growing up so you’re expecting that .
We do the same. No need for anyone else to buy eggs. The fact that they are rubbish in every aspect is much harder. I am sorry you are having to deal with it.
Luredbyapomegranate · 17/04/2022 14:47

@IdiotIntrusion

My point is... You are their parents and as long as you love and care for them then that is all that should matter to you.

I say this with good intentions, I just don't know how to write it without it sounding shitty; You will love your own children to the end of the earth and back but (this is the shitty bit), other people will not feel the same about your kids and probably have no feelings towards them at all. I have little to no feelings towards my niece/nephew.

Nobody should really care about them beyond you and your husband... As long as they are treated with respect when they do interact with them then that's all that should matter?

This is nuts.

Of course parents love their children more than anyone else, but children are best raised by a village. Only existing within a nuclear family is very intense, you need other perspectives and different people. I love my niece, nephew, god children and my close friends’ kids. Although I am a total failure on the Easter Egg buying front..

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
IdiotIntrusion · 17/04/2022 14:48

I do think it's irrelevant information though whether I'm NC or not.

Parents need to remember that everyone else's world does not revolve around their kids. It's a harsh but true reality. It's nice to have family that want to be involved but they shouldn't expect to be...

Letterasaurus · 17/04/2022 14:48

I get how you feel OP and I'm really sorry. Astonished how many ops think it's about the chocolate and are criticising you - have they no empathy?! (Clearly not.)

I've felt like this in the past. My daughter is now grown up and I wish she'd had more extended family in her life as a child but I know she feels completely loved by her dad and me and doesn't seem to have suffered any ill-effects.

Just make Easter and Christmas and birthdays the best you can and it will be absolutely fine.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

PersephonePomegranate · 17/04/2022 14:49

I think it's probably less to do with the eggs, but a physical reminder of your difficult family situation.

Your DC have you Flowers

returntoUK · 17/04/2022 14:50

@SparklingLime

Well that’s a massive drip-feed, *@IdiotIntrusion*.
The lack of birthday cards? It’s not a drip feed, the OP’s first post says her family don’t bother and lists who she is NC with. They’re not going to do birthday cards if they don’t generally bother with OP’s dc.
GeneLovesJezebel · 17/04/2022 14:51

Mine only get them from me. No one else buys them for them, and I don’t expect them to.

SparklingLime · 17/04/2022 14:52

I do think it's irrelevant information though whether I'm NC or not.

Exactly, that’s what drip/feed means: it needed to be included in your original post to make sense of it. As I said, “Not everyone has close relationships with extended family, but…”

SparklingLime · 17/04/2022 14:54

@returntoUK, my comment was addressed to @IdiotIntrusion, not OP.

Carliforniansunsets · 17/04/2022 14:54

No one has ever bought my kids an Easter egg apart from me. I didn’t know this was a thing?

Caspianberg · 17/04/2022 14:55

We don’t have family who bother with anything. Ds is almost 2 and he’s seen my parents once.

Anyway. We just try and make own plans that involve just us or neighbours/ friends instead.

This morning we did a little garden egg hunt ( coloured real eggs, and a few chocolate mini lindt things). Our friends popped by for hot cross buns ( also new area a few years ago, so newish friends), then Easter walk.

Our next door neighbour bought Ds around a little rabbit toy, and neighbours on our walk chatted a bit. Our family haven’t called, texted or sent a carrier pigeon.

WonderingWanda · 17/04/2022 15:06

Hi Op, I get what you are saying. It's really nothing to do with the eggs. The lack of eggs today compared to previous years just highlighted to you that your support network has got so much smaller recently. Try to focus on the positives, you are demonstrating to your dc that you can put in place healthy boundaries and keep toxic people out of their lives. One day hopefully your brother will come out the other side of his fertility troubles and you can rebuild some new family bonds there but in the meantime concentrate on building up traditions with your dc that when they grow up they will remember fondly and that can continue with your future grandchildren. So think about how you want Easter hunts to go, celebratory lunches, days out to celebrate occasions etc. You can still make their childhood lovely without that extended network, it will just be tougher on you because know one has got your back. There are lots of Mums our there doing an amazing job just like you without their own Mum's to support them. Be proud and be kind to yourself op. Flowers

drawacircleroundit · 17/04/2022 15:10

I think you know this is the hand you all got dealt and that you just have to play it the best you can - which includes not complaining. Well done for going NC - remember that this is the real achievement, and significantly more important than some chocolate.
Please don't let your children sense your disappointment; they will learn to react emotionally and with an inflated sense of entitlement to any perceived future discourtesy. Flowers

Onlyforcake · 17/04/2022 15:12

I don't think it's usual to buy eggs for people not members of your household (or at all, festivals appropriated by Christians was bad enough now apparently its appropriated for consumerism purposes.

Fundays12 · 17/04/2022 15:13

Ignore Facebook posts about how much the Easter bunny brought or family bought. It's generally for show. Some people never grow out of the "look at me" stage. Facebook just makes them worse. Lol I cringe when I see some of the posts on Facebook around this. You got your own DC's eggs that's what matters. My MIL got my DC's an egg each. We don't expect it and my mum hasn't got them any yet. She may or may not it's not a big issue.

bluebellsandcustard · 17/04/2022 15:16

I'd never expect anyone else to buy my children Easter eggs.

I'm sorry you don't have a supportive family though, that must be very tough. Thanks

Mabelshouse · 17/04/2022 15:16

When did Easter become so huge? I had no expectations of loads of eggs from people. They are a waste of money.

My kids get one egg from us.,maybe I’m the Easter Scrooge.,

Shinyandnew1 · 17/04/2022 15:17

I buy Easter eggs for my kids and nobody else-nobody else buys for them. I didn’t know that was a thing!

DisforDarkChocolate · 17/04/2022 15:26

Honestly, one egg is enough. I remember the years mine ended up with half a dozen and they just got sick of it.

Mark Easter with a fun activity instead, far better memories.

Hankunamatata · 17/04/2022 15:39

My kids get 1 egg each for their grandmother. That's all they get. If she didn't buy it I would buy them. Kids dont need multiple eggs.

HelloDulling · 17/04/2022 15:41

My DC only get one egg, always have. But they get birthday/Christmas cards and presents. I’m sorry your family don’t care as much as they should.

Squiff70 · 17/04/2022 15:49

This isn't AIBU but YABU. Its nobody else's JOB to buy your children Easter eggs. None of my family except my parents have got an egg for my daughter and even then I wasn't expecting them to. If you want your DC to have Easter eggs it's up to you to organise that.

Entitled indeed.

ToryWantsBorisOut · 17/04/2022 15:51

My kids had one egg each from us and a few mini eggs as part of the hunt to find the big egg (Also from us). Buying Easter eggs for extended family isn't a thing in our family. Also, parents (of whatever flavour, not just biological) are what makes a good family for kids. Extended family is nice if you've got it, but not necessary for happy, well adjusted kids.

Felix0204 · 17/04/2022 15:51

Only people who bought Easter eggs were DDs great grandparents. I buy my DD her own they only cost a few pounds. YABU I don't expect anyone to buy her Easter eggs and I don't buy any for my nieces and nephews.