Nobody got our DC an easter egg

[HappyEaster2022]

Before anybody accuses me of being grabby, it's the thought that counts and its the fact nobody thought of them which has hurt me.

I have 3 children (one is just a little baby but the older two are well aware of easter)

I don't have much family and the ones I do have are complex characters which means my children miss out on having traditionally good relationships with family.

My relationship with my DM has gone because of her drinking, we've been pretty much NC, I stopped calling and the contact just stopped as it was always me making the effort - but it wouldn't have killed her to drop an egg off at the door for the kids would it? I thought she would have done as despite her habit I believed she loved them in her own way. They adored her.

I'm also NC with my aunt now, the only other relative who ever really bothered with the kids at easter and other occasions, because she was enabling my mum and was becoming really toxic for me.

So there's nobody on my side who bothers with the kids now. I have a DB who lives quite far away and our relationship has suffered because he and his DW are having fertility struggles and I think they find it hard to see/be around me and my DC we represent the unfairness of it all. Its not nice but I understand it.

OH's family are completely uninvolved and we don't hear from them unless they want to borrow money, none of our kids have ever had so much as a birthday card or call wishing them a happy birthday.

Obviously the lack of easter eggs is just symptomatic of the bigger picture and it's not really about chocolate at all, special occasions just make you look at the disparity with other families I think.

What a shit family we've brought our children into. I feel so sad for them and myself if I'm honest

My family don’t really buy eggs for each other, my DM bought the dc one but that’s it. I remember when I was a kid we used to get loads from family and friends, we used to be eating them for the next month. I think things have changed and chocolate is no longer a treat as many of us eat it often. Also people just can’t be bothered or can’t afford it.

My dc have had 2 eggs each, one from DM and one from me.

Well it wasn't my intention to come across as entitled, I think I put more than enough emphasis of 'it's not about the chocolate' in my OP.

It's about a much bigger picture, not having a supportive and connected family who care about us.

People without family around them often feel a bit crap on special occasions, I see it all the time at Christmas.

If I had a loving family it wouldn't matter if they got the kids Easter eggs or birthday cards because we would have them which would be worth more than any material thing.

Special occasions are just a reminder of what we don't have, and never will, not from bio family anyway.

It's just a bit of a bummer, growing up it was drummed into me how important family is and how family comes first bla bla.

We buy one egg for each of our own kids here.

If we are spending Easter with cousins or anyone else, we would get a small £1 egg for the children we would have the day with. If we weren’t seeing them, we wouldn’t bother.

The grandparents would give them if they see the kids. If not, it’s not worth posting them and they might send them £5 each as a substitute. But if they didn’t, no-one would notice or care.

I dont t think there’s a need for any child to get multiple Easter eggs.

I get what you are saying.
I don't have any family either (apart from my amazing children) so no-one buys for them either (Easter/ Christmas and Birthdays all fall on me as a single mum).
I agree. It's not about the chocolate/ presents. It just brings it all home how much we miss the people that are no longer with us and the people who just don't care.

I get it op. I do wonder if the people, who say that extended family isn’t that big a deal actually have an engaged extended family. So many parents around me have local family and support. They really do not get it at all.

Yes, family means everything. Your little family. You are doing things differently. Your family can be the start of the traditions. Try to spend more of your time loving and caring for your family and less time caring about them.

@Cryingintherain99

I get what you are saying. I don't have any family either (apart from my amazing children) so no-one buys for them either (Easter/ Christmas and Birthdays all fall on me as a single mum). I agree. It's not about the chocolate/ presents. It just brings it all home how much we miss the people that are no longer with us and the people who just don't care.

Exactly that.

I'm really sorry you can relate first hand, and I'm sorry that you're doing it all totally alone.

Happy Easter to you lovely

[quote LoveSpringDaffs]@HappyEaster2022

((HUG)) I'm sorry you & your kids don't have the extended family that you'd love to have.

It's about being thought about & cared for, it's understandable that you long for that.

It's definitely more difficult to make good friends when you have children with additional needs, but hopefully that new group will help!

My phone or MN is playing up, so can't write much more, but know that someone old enough to be your mum is thinking about you & your kids today 🐰 🌸[/quote]
Thank you that's so kind and means alot ❤️

Happy Easter to you and everybody else x

What a shit family we've brought our children into. I feel so sad for them and myself if I'm honest

I fully understand and im sorry. However you dont need to feel sorry for them - make your own traditions. My DC are very fortunate that they have wider family that send eggs, but the main enjoyment of Easter for them is just the 6 of us (DH & DC) playing easter games, doing an egg hunt in the garden and having easter dinner. Make it really special for your DC with lots of activities (doesnt even have to cost much, we do egg and spoon races, pin the tail on the bunny etc) and then continue it for the grandchildren, so you break the cycle.

@itssquidstella

I’m sorry you feel this way. When I was growing up, we only ever got one Easter egg from my mum and dad; wider family never bought them for us. It wasn't a snub, it just wasn't expected.

This. Easter was a religious day for us. There was a church service and a special family meal - leg of lamb. Any Easter candy came from teachers at school.

I don't think it's a thing is it? I bought my younger two an egg each and they'd scoffed it by Friday. Not expecting anyone else to get them one. Nbd

Don't expect anything from anyone and you'll be more happy, if you want something buy it yourself! And if you ever receive something take it as a bonus. That's what I am doing and it doesn't bother me that my children don't receive a penny worth of gifts from my or my husband's family. I am not actually expecting this as it's not anyone else's children. As you have so many negative examples in your and your DH's family try to be a loving mum yourself and teach them to love and help each other so your DC's don't feel the same as you. And Easter is not in fact about opening chocolate eggs imo.

IF I was seeing a family with small children over the Easter weekend, I would obviously take an Easter egg apiece, or an egg box filled with Creme Eggs. But the only smallies in our family right now belong to my niece, who is 200 miles away. But their GPs will bring back delicious chocolate treats from a weekend away in Belgium.

@HappyEaster2022 I totally get it. I’ve had a little cry today as I felt so lonely, just me and my toddler who is too young to get Easter yet. I think a lot of posters here are lucky enough to have family so are pretending it’s about the chocolate, when it’s clearly not. Yes when she is older I’ll make sure I make it magical, but that still doesn’t mean I don’t wish she had grandparents who cared, cousins to play with and a big family round the table for an Easter roast.

You just buy for your own children. How many eggs do they need?? Sorry, sounds grabby expecting other people to buy eggs too.

@Mummytotwonow

You just buy for your own children. How many eggs do they need?? Sorry, sounds grabby expecting other people to buy eggs too.

Atleast 10 eggs a piece, because it's obviously all about wanting to stuff my kids full of chocolate at everybody else's expense. Happy Easter.

Well… that the thing with no contact, if you insist in NC they end up respecting your wishes, I am afraid.

But relax, kids don’t care that much about Easter eggs unless you make a fuss of it. I can assure you my child doesn’t remember or care about who got him eggs or not when young.

I bought for my 3 nephews as I always do,my 2 boys got eggs off me,1 uncle & grandad & honestly that's fine by me,I give for the kids I'm the same with birthdays & Christmas,only one of my brother's is not great with it but im used to that now so don't let it faze me,I won't stop doing for his boys because I love them & they are great with my kids

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP, there are some right miseries on this thread today! I think I remember your other threads.

Yes, I got eggs from family and friends as a child and I have bought them for nieces and nephews. My child has had eggs from friends and family members when younger as well. If it's not a tradition for you, it's easier to say 'we don't do that either' rather than sneer or call the OP grabby.

I understand op. Really I do. I wish you and your children had the family you deserve, full of love and appreciation for your children.
I felt the same when mine were tiny, I was so sad (& weirdly embarrassed!) when it was just us, but the reality is they know no different and all the love & attention you give is enough for them. I'm sure you make things extra special for your very loved children without even realising it.

I didn't buy big Eggs I bought afew summer pyjamas and some colouring bits and then some little garden games like egg and spoon etc.... I did an egg hunt and had some little eggs for that but didn't go mad.
They got 1 egg from their great aunt (no grandparents alive) and 1 from a neighbour but too much chocolate doesn't do anyone any good really.

I'm sorry your upset tho x

In a way I know what you mean, it's not about the eggs, it is what it symbols: the lack of involved family.

DH and I both have a small family, all abroad. DD gets presents/money/easter eggs mainly from us with a small item at Christmas/birthdays from the grandparents.

In our case it's more the distance, not the distant relationship which causes the issue. But still, when I read of people saying what their DCs get lots of presents from relatives I do sometimes feel odd.

Back to eggs - we had 2 years when DD got lots of eggs from friends we made at nursery, school easter egg hunts, days out and from her childminder. I was baking chocolate chip cookies for months with them.

Now we just do a day out with the friends, they each get ice cream or cake and that's it.

I get it OP. It has been nothing to do with cheap chocolate and all to do with showing they care and have thought of them.

My DP used to but now in very poor shape (dementia) they don’t any more. In-laws have had a rotten time with health worries and forgot I think.

The kids don’t notice and all is good. They have us thankfully so have one egg anyhow.

*HappyEaster2022

Mummytotwonow
You just buy for your own children. How many eggs do they need?? Sorry, sounds grabby expecting other people to buy eggs too.
Atleast 10 eggs a piece, because it's obviously all about wanting to stuff my kids full of chocolate at everybody else's expense. Happy Easter*

And any sympathy slowly drains away…

I understand completely it's that warm fuzzy big family event we are sold or see on SM. People with loving laughing DGP's chasing them around the immaculate garden and having a roast dinner.
This is mostly bollocks but we still yearn for it.
We are very lucky in that both sides of DGP's bought eggs or sent eggs or did a little easter hunt.
Again not the chocolate but the sense of family and being thought about and cherished.
I can only say I feel for you and its valid to feel you are missing that for your kids. However they are probably fine and happy with your family easter not being dragged off for a stiff roast on best behaviour. Its not what kids want.

@Quincythequince

*HappyEaster2022

Mummytotwonow
You just buy for your own children. How many eggs do they need?? Sorry, sounds grabby expecting other people to buy eggs too.
Atleast 10 eggs a piece, because it's obviously all about wanting to stuff my kids full of chocolate at everybody else's expense. Happy Easter*

And any sympathy slowly drains away…

For me? I was clearly being sarcastic in response to being labelled grabby

Some of these responses are so predictable I could see them coming, hence pre facing my OP pointing out I'm not being grabby and it's not actually about chocolate... and I'm still called grabby.

Could I have been any more clear about the fact its FAMILY I wish my children had, not chocolate.