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Dh can go and live in the shed with his beloved dyson

189 replies

Kurtanforpm · 03/04/2022 09:58

I’m sick to death of the bloody thing.

It doesn’t work. Half way though something clogs. The whole thing has to be taken apart. I’m sick to death of giving it a hair cut once a week (Dyson owners will know what I mean).

The charge never lasts that long. The bloody head has to be changed for the hard floor and that head is next to useless, anything other than a large speck of dust makes it stop working.

When he bought the bloody thing, he said he would do all the vacuuming. But a hairy cat and three children including a toddler who is incapable of keeping anything on a plate means that I do end up using it when he’s working.

His Grandmother has had to move in to a care home and MIL has asked if we want the Shark that they bought her last year. I’ve bitten hand off (do you like the shark reference).

Dh is sulking saying he wants to keep his dyson. He loves it. It’s the bestest vacuum cleaner ever.

It doesn’t sound like he loves the bastard thing when he’s on the kitchen swearing at it halfway though cleaning the house trying to find out why it’s stopped working for the 6th time, but what do I know.

I’m having the shark and he can either like it or run off into the sunset with his beloved dyson and i’ll read about how “I married my vacuum cleaner” in Take a Break.

OP posts:
Kurtanforpm · 03/04/2022 10:32

@elfycat

What about opening a man-cafes. MNetters run each branch where we live. Dysons on the wall as decoration. Vintage Dysons available to use (small carpeted areas for demos). I can see this being a very real niche.
If it was also filled with Apple products, I would never see dh again.

I’m applying for the Apprentice with that idea next year.

OP posts:
Kurtanforpm · 03/04/2022 10:34

@shreddednips

Everything about this post is relatable. My husband is also enamoured with our shitty cordless dyson (not quite as enamoured as yours though) and the amount of time spent huffing and puffing trying to get it working properly drives me bananas. Maybe my DH and your DH are soulmates.
They can live in the shed together and have a double dyson wedding.
OP posts:
Readyforspring · 03/04/2022 10:34

I get irrationally angry with my hetty. Its bulky and i swear the little fucker loves to play peek a boo on every corner and getting stuck!
Or her wheels run over the wire and gets stuck
Ds loves to push the little bitch in the opposite direction to what i want to go ( the help of a 2yr old)
I want a shark but cant decide on cordless or not.

Interested in this thread?

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mubarak86 · 03/04/2022 10:35

I saved up and bought myself a cordless Dyson for a milestone birthday. There was a crescendo of excitement as the day approached, I felt it was my wedding day all over again as I brought my 'new groom' over the threshold of his new dominion. The second I switched him on was one of the most disappointingly, earth shattering moments; devastation does not come close. At the time (and time is a healer IME) I searched for support groups for those of us left bereft by our Dyson and spiralled further into grief when I could not talk about my feelings openly and honestly (back then they were an aspirational dream).
I'm pleased to report that I LTD(yson) and have found Henry, my soul mate who is forever ready at my beck and call. His only problem is that at times he's too good, and I wonder if I really deserve him.

CatherinedeBourgh · 03/04/2022 10:37

I agree. Hate Dysons. Have had an unreasonable number of them, given that I hated all but the first one. But then dh does the hoovering.

However even he has come to realise they are shit. Our current hoover is 1/4 the price of a Dyson and does a much better job!

Deadringer · 03/04/2022 10:37

Keep both. I have a cordless and a shark. Whizz around downstairs with the cordless most days, takes 5 mins. I keep the shark upstairs and use it monthly weekly.

SoupDragon · 03/04/2022 10:39

My old Dyson was shit (an Animal, not one of the newer ones). Is used to clog at the slightest expectation of vacuuming up anything larger than a speck of dust from an angel's wing.

I have a Shark now and I love it. It still needs a haircut (and I gather that the "anti hair wrap" ones are shit and need a haircut too) but I actually find that quite satisfying. At least it will vacuum up actual stuff.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 03/04/2022 10:42

I have a tiny robot cleaner for downstairs and I love it almost as much as the dog. DH is Not Allowed to have anything to do with it. I treat it very much like a pet and scoot about with a long handled dustpan brush to make sure he has plenty to do. He copes beautifully with the drifts of GSD and cat fluff.
I don't have any carpet though

My mother has a Shark and loves it, and MIL had a go with it and then promptly bought one. She's had it almost a year and declared it to be rubbish, DH checked it cos my mum raves about hers, turns out MIL had not ever emptied it. Like EVER!
I don't know how it didn't explode!

24hoursfromtulsa · 03/04/2022 10:43

I know that some people dislike them because they are heavy, but I have had my Henry for over 25 years. He has never gone wrong and has never needed servicing.

After about 20 years the long hose developed a split so I just bought a new one.

SoupDragon · 03/04/2022 10:44

@Sennedd

Can anyone help the poster out? What can you hoover up that would ruin the Dyson beyond repair?
I suspect that it wasn't a Dyson, but in DS1's Uni flat someone used the vacuum to clear up spilt water. That killed it.
24hoursfromtulsa · 03/04/2022 10:44

Also, I would never buy a Dyson, and my husband wouldn't allow on in the house either, because James Dyson is an arse!

SoupDragon · 03/04/2022 10:46

The problem with my Dyson appeared to be a basic design flaw - the floor attachment had a little rubber flap on it that stopped anything bigger than dust getting through.

HTruffle · 03/04/2022 10:46

My two pieces of advice. 1. Take the purple soft filter out the top and bang it against a wall outside. Clouds of dust will fly out. It will work miles better.

  1. Buy a robovac next time on Amazon deal of day. You need never hoover again.
gerryperry · 03/04/2022 10:49

My mum has a dyson and 4 cats and a dog. It drives me bad. It's in no way powerful enough to keep on top of the cat and dog hair. I love my shark!

Also if you are being offered the shark - why can't you just have 2 hoovers? Sorry haven't read the full thread and that's probably already been asked!

But I have 2 hoovers. 1 for a deep clean and 1 for a quick going over

Fully agree with you - shark wins any day!

Baconbutties · 03/04/2022 10:49

I switched from a dyson to a shark I find shark loads better and the anti hair wrap thing works on mine but only if you follow the instructions on how to get it to clear itself after hoovering . I’d never get another dyson after shark.

Kurtanforpm · 03/04/2022 10:53

Oh, I’m having the shark. PIL bringing it this afternoon.

I shall name it Kevin.

Dh can slog away with his dyson. I will use the shark that is in MILs words “fantastic” (it’s the same as hers).

OP posts:
statetrooperstacey · 03/04/2022 10:55

I have a shark cordless and it’s replaced the hair straighteners and kids to be the first thing rescued in a fire. I love it, I’ve vacuumed downstairs every day and now I know how people keep a clean house! just get a user friendly vacuum. ( it replaced a Miele and a Henry )

CliffsofMohair · 03/04/2022 10:55

@Sennedd

Can anyone help the poster out? What can you hoover up that would ruin the Dyson beyond repair?
Large scale spice accident. You’ll never be able to hoover without leaving the smell of cumin around the house
Kurtanforpm · 03/04/2022 10:57

Kevin the shark and I will go on long, romantic vacuums around the kitchen diner together while dh is grappling with getting the extra special, hard floor roller attachment on his dyson to actually pick up a crumb.

OP posts:
PeachesToday · 03/04/2022 10:57

@Kurtanforpm

Anyone with me on how awful Dyson vacuums are? Doesn’t clog my arse.
Hard agree! Shark all the way. My Dyson is sat in the garage unused.
howardmoonseyebrow · 03/04/2022 11:00

I was a member of the Dyson cult for years. Had my first one at 22, (43 now) . Over the years they got more expensive & the quality got worse .

My DH bought a Henry 7 years ago , he’s still going strong although like a previous posters Hetty , he’s a bit cheeky a times peeking round a corner while lying on his back because I’ve been a bit enthusiastic dragging him behind me 😂

Campervangirl · 03/04/2022 11:02

Hilarious post op 😂
Yep send him to the shed with his Dyson.
I've got a Shark, it's mint, a little heavy but it never clogs, holds its charge and you can switch to hard floor from carpet by flipping the switch, I love it

gogohm · 03/04/2022 11:03

I had a dyson once, I have a Henry now. Dyson cost £300 14 years ago, lasted 4 years, Henry bought 10 years ago for £89 is still going. Says it all. Made in Somerset too, local to me

sidesplittinglol · 03/04/2022 11:05

I have a shark and it does the same thing as your dyson does. Plus it doesn't pick up backwards and spits out crap back on the floor if it's unhappy.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/04/2022 11:05

@TheNameOfTheRoses

The best vacuum ive ever had is an Amazon branded one. Never an issue with it, strong power succion and the price! It was only £40!

I’ve had a Dyson too but can’t say it was anywhere as good as my cheap cheap Amazon one….

My dad has an unbranded Amazon cordless and it's exactly the same as my megga bucks Dyson in fact it's better tbh.