Sorry for spamming the thread. I have been taking some time to read the posts and think about the different viewpoints and there are some that I'd like to respond to but I won't @ anyone.
Why cant people just do what they want. You've lost your child all because of your own actions.
I have never said that he can't do what he wants. It's not my actions, I haven't done anything. Maybe my lack of action in doing what he wants, I agree but none of this has come from me.
From the second they are born our children have the right to live their own lives. Some people have more trouble understanding that concept than others.
I agree that he has the right to live his own life, as do I. I have no trouble understanding that concept but perhaps he does. I've raised my children to be independent, to know how to look after themselves and to respect others. He is a lovely young man and mature in many ways but also somewhat naive because of his age and lack of life experiences.
I'm really surprised that you would feel strongly enough about this that you would sacrifice your relationship with him over it. To be perfectly honest, I can't help but feel that you've also been a bit brainwashed by the GC movement.
I am not sacrificing our relationship. None of this is my wish or my instigation. The views I have are the ones I have always had. Nothing has changed there for me. I always knew there are two sexes and that humans can't change sex. There is nothing new in the GC movement.
You gain nothing by continuing to refuse to alter your language to make your son feel supported, and you lose a lot. You won't change his mind about who he is. You won't change anyone's mind.
I am not trying to change his mind. I don't want to change him, although he is trying to change my mind. I just can't join in with the fantasy. My earlier posts on this thread explain a bit more. There is a lot to lose from 'going along' with a fiction that erases the class of woman as a sex. It's huge actually.
But I can't do it. I look at him and I don't see a woman, I see a man. I know I gave birth to a son. I can't tell people that I have two daughters because I don't, I have a daughter and a son. I can't live a lie, it's too distressing. It's gaslighting, it's enforced speech and it's blackmail. It doesn't feel like love and it doesn't feel right. Even though he is my own son, he is an adult and it's time for him to understand that his parents are people too, not just disposable supporters.
Many years from now, on your deathbed, would you rather have both of your children by your side, or would you prefer to be able to say to your daughter 'well its a shame that Simon isn't here but at least I kept to my principles and refused to call him Simone'?
Simon knows I love him. We have had so much fun over the years as a family. I taught him to tie his shoelaces, tell the time, ride a bike and, when he was older how to cook and wash his clothes, to mow the lawn, light the fire and even taught him to drive. We've been camping, beach days, picnics, board games, birthday parties, theme parks, snowball fights, endless photos of a life growing up, snapshots of all the myriad of things you do with and for your children.
When he left, I plastered a smile on my face, gave him a big hug and said 'Go out there and have fun, enjoy yourself, you know where we are and let us know if you need anything'. I let him go because that's what you do with your kids when they're grown. You let them out into the world and hope that you did enough that they can get by and be happy.
If Simon does not come to my deathbed, that's his decision and one that he will have to be happy with. As always, I will respect his decision because I don't ever want to put any guilt on anyone.