Do you know anyone who went missing?

[FuckThatBullshit]

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?

A child in my class, along with the whole family, disappeared without warning. For a long time afterwards I had dreams about the missing child and where they might be - there were local rumours suggesting they may not be alive any more - and I'd find myself scrutinising the faces of similar-looking 10-yr-olds, even going so far as to stop and talk to them before apologising and explaining that I'd thought they were someone I used to teach. Four or five years later, I heard from an ex-colleague that the child and family were safe! The child had recently registered at a fairly local secondary school which had been in touch with the primary I used to teach at as we'd recorded them as missing from education. I haven't seen them again but as soon as I heard they were safe, I stopped having dreams about them.

I agree with you Polly. I think he probably had a bit of plastic surgery and went somewhere with no extradition just in case. There is always a different law for the rich!

I read online last week that a man's body was found in the freezer of a building that was being demolished and they think he had been in there for decades ( in East London somewhere ) The police found out who it was.
I often wonder if many missing people are so well hidden after they die that they will never been found , this person must have been missed by somebody at some stage surely ?
There were many rumors that people would be killed and put into concrete when I was a kid. Mostly gang land type murders.
It's horrible to think that many go away and are never seen or heard of again, probably easier to do this years ago , these days we are tracked a lot more and have cctv about and number plate trackers for cars, mobiles.

@LadyEloise1 oh yes, I imagine it was devastating for his mother, she was probably relying on him being about to start working and easing some of the financial worries as well. She would have been in an impossible situation, like you say, no benefits or agencies to support her and a huge stigma and shame in leaving her husband even if she'd been able to (this would have been about 1912)

But at the same time I completely understand my grandfather's need to protect himself and give himself a better life. A very difficult decision to make as a young boy

I used to occasionally drink with this guy when I was about 15. He was older. He was always out drinking with young people and everyone thought he was a bit sad but harmless. We often gave him money and cigarettes because we felt sorry for him. One day he stopped going out and was never seen again. 10 years later we found out that he had been murdered by his so called mates and the circumstances around his death were really weird and grim. It was quite a high profile thing back in the day. I was so surprised when they found out what happened to him. Poor bloke.

Noah Donohoe.

Thinking of his mummy Fiona on Mothers Day.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4514507-Aibu-to-think-if-the-worst-happened-and-your-child-died-in-mysterious-circumstances-you-should-have-a-right-to-know-what-happened

www.change.org/p/brandonlewis-release-the-noah-donohoe-files-justicefornoah

A friend's brother left home one day and never came back. He later told the family not to look for him. I'll never understand that.

@SantaHat

These musings over people who choose to go missing have reminded me of another incident.

When I was a teenager I was an active girl guide and we had a lovely small unit and I worshipped our guide leaders as second mums. One day, one of my friends, who was a girl guide with me, went missing. It was all over the local news and all of us were very worried and shocked by it.
I was then utterly horrified when I accidentally over heard our guide leaders talking about it. They bitched for 15 minutes about how everyone knew she was a bit of a slag and had probably got herself pregnant and run away. This was a 15 year old girl that I thought they loved and cared for (and she was nothing of the sort, not that it matters). As it was, she was found a few days later and she had run away because she was suffering horrendous physical and sexual abuse and her step father was later jailed for it.
But the whole thing really shocked me about how people can behave in these situations and the judgments that can be made and has stayed with me and I never forgave those leaders for making those awful comments.

God how awful. As leaders we have to complete safeguarding which is nearly as much as I do as a school teacher. I'm shocked that the fact they thought she was slutty was even discussed. Sexual promiscuity and language at a young age is a huge marker for potential sexual abuse. Instead of gossiping they should have been contacting the safeguarding lead!!!

Stories of people I have known.
My friends Dad had been a German POW and stayed and married an English girl, her Mum. About 30 years ago a guy in Germany tracked down her family. Turns out he had a wife and a few children in Germany who had assumed he had died in the war. This half brother of hers just wanted the truth. Thankfully his poor wife had died a couple of years before so never knew he had abandoned her and the children.

One of my colleagues had a grandad who had disappeared for about 15 years this was in the early 1900’s. He returned and his wife had him back, their children had a bit of an age gap.

My uncle disappeared in the night. He packed a bag and walked out on his family, it was very unlike him as he was a hardworking, family man. This was in the 90’s.
My grandmother hired a private investigator to find him and after many years of no contact (we feared he was dead) he was found living a great life in Paris and had remarried (illegally).
He then went missing again and left his 2nd wife and their children. No one looked for him the second time.

A lady that worked in a bookshop near me went missing around 10 years ago. I think she had some degree of special needs. The job was perfect for her but she wouldn't have been able to disappear and start a new life by herself. I think she sadly met a bad end

Its fiction, but has anyone read 'Those Faraday Girls' by Monica McInerney? very interesting.

My grandfather disappeared when my Mum was young, no one knew where. More recently a family member doing family history found out he’d married and had a second family. Weirdly he’d given some of the kids the same names as his first family!

@Adarajames

My grandfather disappeared when my Mum was young, no one knew where. More recently a family member doing family history found out he’d married and had a second family. Weirdly he’d given some of the kids the same names as his first family!

That is so strange, giving them the same names! Like a Xerox family!

I worked with a guy who ran a business on the side, I was friendly with him and he used to give me a lift occasionally. I gave him £300 for the business but never received the service. One day he just didn't turn up to work, everyone asked me about it but I had no other means of contacting him, didn't know his partner's number, etc. This went on for weeks. I received a letter one day saying he was keeping the £300 as payment for the lifts (which couldn't have cost more than £10) and that he wouldn't be in contact again and was resigning. Then I remembered he'd once told me the unusual name of a farm near his house, I managed to find his address and replied to the letter. Then he phoned work for the first time since going AWOL to say I was harassing him. Bizarre behaviour.

Meidid. Just a warning on the passport thing.
My dm remarried when I was a child and I took on my dads surname. Nothing was done officially but everyone happy with this.
When I applied for my passport in the 1990s I had to provide proof of my parents marriage along with my birth certificate. I then got married but as I've not needed my passport I never updated it or renewed it.
Ds1 is is the process of applying for his passport and its been a nightmare. He's needed a copy of my marriage certificate and had to have his identity verified twice so far.
He applied before Christmas and its still being processed.
I just thought this could be useful information for you in case your dc need a passport so that you can try to mentally prepare.

Test

That is so strange, giving them the same names! Like a Xerox family!

My husband's Grandad had a second family. His children grew up hating him and left for foreign shores as soon as they were able too. His wife followed along with the youngest children. His wife died shortly after arrival at the overseas destination, meaning he could lawfully marry again.

And he did. The children were all given the same names as his first ones ! Not a missing persons story but the 'Xerox Family' resonated with me.

"the missing" is an Amazon podcast that gives good detail on missing person cases. So if you have a missing family member that you are looking for it could be a good way of getting information about your loved one out to the public.

Sky are doing a documentary on the women missing in Ireland called Six Silent Killings : Ireland's Vanishing Triangle.
There are 3 women in particular that are thought to have been abducted and killed by the same man.
The other three women are believed to have been killed by someone they knew but their bodies, heartbreakingly, have never been found.

@LadyEloise1 that's terrifying; I hope their families can get some closure one day.

Has an older sister that went missing. She was gone 30 years before she was located.

She very much wanted to be gone.