Do you know anyone who went missing?

FuckThatBullshit · 2022-03-20T18:01:08+00:00

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?

BeetyAxe · 20/03/2022 18:04

Yes. A family friend. Just disappeared about 20 years ago now. Periodically the police turn up with items looking for DNA from his children, never turned into anything though so no further forward from the day and hour he disappeared. Very sad for his wife and worse for his son who was only young at the time. His youngest child doesn’t remember him at all. Strange and sad situation.

Mumdiva99 · 20/03/2022 18:06

When I was very young I had a boyfriend whose dad had gibe missing. He didn't like to talk about it so I don't know details. But do know it was along the lines of popped out for a pint of milk never to return.

Cloudsanddaffodils · 20/03/2022 18:11

Yes 1960s (precomputerchecks/tracing). Left 2 former wives and 2 sons (all now dead) who never knew what became of their father/husband. No trace of him here or abroad online either.
I have recently had contact from a guy online (could be another child of his) and we're tentatively trying to piece together his story.

EdgeOfSeventeenAndThreeQuarter · 20/03/2022 18:17

Yes. Happened in the mid-80s. Her body was found a few years ago and as soon as I saw where the body was found, I knew it was her. Answers for her family at least.

FaithAndDevotion · 20/03/2022 18:28

NC for this.

I knew a guy who went missing and turned up couple of years later fighting for the Mujahedeen.

He had completely planned it and knew what he was doing. Other people did not though. He had a complete double life, lived in the suburbs (I met him at a bloody barbecue in South Norwood ffs), went to college etc. But at the same time he was arranging his exit to become a mercenary.

He got captured and some of the stuff he'd done counted as war crimes so he got sentenced and is still in prison now, not in the UK.

If you had met him when he was in the UK you would never have thought it possible he would do this.

Aspidistra1 · 20/03/2022 18:30

A colleague a few years ago and a friend more recently. Both bodies found, one within days and the other took months.

blisstwins · 20/03/2022 18:33

My grandfather did this to his family in the 1920s. Left his family, moved to the US, got married, had my father, and then left again for another part of the US. He fought in WWI and was basically crazy after.
In the 1980s some family from his home country contacted us and we’re so glad to meet their brothers son and grandchildren. We are close to them since.
Another gone missing were two of my childhood friends, though in their case they were abducted by their father. He was not found for five years! He and the kids were finally found, the kids were reunited with their mother, and their father hung himself. Horrible.

ShakeYourSalt · 20/03/2022 18:41

My sister went missing totally out of the blue when she was 20 and at uni. She was found after 2 weeks. She'd had a huge mental health crisis and was in psychosis.

It was a long road to recovery but she's been well for years now, thankfully.

saywhaaaaaat · 20/03/2022 18:44

A guy I used to work with, who was always really happy and smiley, just disappeared one day. They found his car abandoned, keys and wallet and no sign of him whatsoever. I wasn't super close to him but it never would have struck me as someone who was unhappy. Still think about him from time to time.

Original poster

FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 18:45

The Andrew Gosden case is shocking. Also Brian Schaffer, Asha Degree, Ruth Wilson. I think she is probably alive somewhere...

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Mouldyfeet · 20/03/2022 18:45

My dad, took the taxi can he used to drive and left it in London. No one knew where he was. We never liked him enough to even report it tbh.
Never heard from him for years! Then the person who he lodged with encouraged him to contact my nan.

Dazedandconfused28 · 20/03/2022 18:47

Yes - someone close, won't give too much detail as it would be outing. Never found & presumed drowned

romdowa · 20/03/2022 18:50

An American guy was working in our local about 10 years ago and one day he just never turned up for work again. About a week later his mother and sister arrive from the states. Apparently he had been missing for 4 years and they had traced him to my town. There were stickers and posters everywhere but he never came back.
Also a local woman's husband just upped and vanished one day about 10 years ago. She reported him missing but he was never found.
We've had a few cases of fishermen lost at sea as well in the wider area. A bit different but just as heart breaking.

BoodleBug51 · 20/03/2022 19:00

A man was fishing locally on the river, and his boat was found empty. No body was ever found, and his poor wife was left completely in the shit as it took years (think it was around 7) for him to be declared "dead". The whole family became completely reclusive as a result, and once the 7 years were up, moved away. It was horribly sad that they never found out what happened.

BorderlineHappy · 20/03/2022 19:01

I dont but it must be heartbreakingfor the family concerned.

Aimee1987 · 20/03/2022 19:05

My stepsister is awal. They think shes somewhere in the middle east with her extremist asshole of a husband. She has developmental delays and my stepmom worries herself sick every day. However unless she presents herself to an embassy theres nothing anyone can do.

Fossilsmorefossils · 20/03/2022 19:12

Yes, a friend who did leave a cryptic note, but her body was later found. It was suicide. She was such a beautiful and good person but took life too seriously and couldn't handle the difficulty of uni plus being rejected by a love interest. She just couldn't see how she'd ever become happy. It was so so sad. We all struggle sometimes and I wish she would have opened up about what was bothering her. It sometimes seems like other people have such good control over their life but essentiallywe're all just winging (sp?) it.

waitingformygirl · 20/03/2022 19:17

Yes, I used to work with a guy who disappeared. It was 3/4 years after we worked together but as far as I know he is still missing.

Georgeskitchen · 20/03/2022 19:17

I don't know personally anyone who went missing, but I know that there are a lot of people who go missing and are never found. It must be agony for the families trying to keep the hope alive that they will turn up/get in touch. It must be the not knowing. If a body was found, it would, at least, give them some sort of closure x

Chilledchablis1 · 20/03/2022 19:19

A man I used to work with went out for a sandwich one lunch and never returned . It was early 80s so pre SM etc . It was a complete mystery to his DW, DC etc.
About 10 years later he turned in a hospital in a and was recognised by a nurse who had been friendly with his daughter at school.

Nightdancer · 20/03/2022 19:21

No, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what their families and loved ones go through, and I'm certainly not sheltered from grief.

To anyone on this thread that might have experienced this, I hope that one day you have closure. It must be heartbreaking.

HollowedOut · 20/03/2022 19:22

My friend went missing 19 years ago and we reported it immediately to the police as it was so out of character. They were not concerned in the slightest despite her boss confirming her having left work at the usual time and her mum expecting her round for a meal she’d cooked 2 hours later. They reluctantly put out a notice after 3 days, started to actually interview people after 5 days and on the sixth day her body was found at sea showing signs of rape and strangulation. 19 years on and there are no suspects, just a lot of very broken people and a girl who never got to live her life.

Original poster

FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 19:25

@HollowedOut

My friend went missing 19 years ago and we reported it immediately to the police as it was so out of character. They were not concerned in the slightest despite her boss confirming her having left work at the usual time and her mum expecting her round for a meal she’d cooked 2 hours later. They reluctantly put out a notice after 3 days, started to actually interview people after 5 days and on the sixth day her body was found at sea showing signs of rape and strangulation. 19 years on and there are no suspects, just a lot of very broken people and a girl who never got to live her life.

OP posts:

Curioushorse · 20/03/2022 19:26

Yes. I know somebody who went missing for several years. Apparently he owed money to the IRA, so he disappeared to England and went into hiding. Didn't contact his family the whole time or say where he'd gone. Local rumour has it the IRA tracked him down and held him hostage until his family stepped in and paid off the debt.

He came back and nobody ever mentioned it again.

oldestmumaintheworld · 20/03/2022 19:27

I know a couple of families this has happened to as well as my own. I have a friend who's sister went missing and never turned up. Another person I know well had her husband walk out on her and her children. He left her penniless. And one of my siblings disappeared. He did turn up eventually but was gone for over 10 years.
It's awful. Especially for parents and partners. The not knowing kills you.